My mother died unexpectedly late November. For various reasons her funeral won't be till after Christmas, so it is hanging over me. A close friend died three days ago. In the New Year I will have to clear her flat.
My husband, who said he wanted to support me, has now retreated to bed with a virus. He has been unwell for 5 or 6 days and does not seem to be making much progress, though he has gone into the garden to check on a water feature he installed a couple of times.
Before that he got ill he did ask how I was feeling a few times, but otherwise carried on as usual. Normally we share cooking and getting ready for Christmas. But this year I have sorted all the decorations, food shopping and made every meal. I am sleeping badly because of the shock of dealing with these deaths and am tired. I have missed a work related deadline.
This afternoon an electrical fault related to some recent building work on the kitchen meant there is no light in the area where we will be eating our Xmas dinner.
I found my husband just sitting there passively at 4.15 pm. He hadn't though to tell me or ring the electrician. I did ring, but got an answering machine. I rang the builder but no one will come to the New Year.
I feel that I do not have the strength to cope with all this.
A spa day wouldn't help.