Hi MN,
For Christmas this year, DH asked that I cook a ten-bird roast, similar to the ten-bird roast that HF-W cooked during his River Cottage days, you know, when he had long sumptuous locks of tousled brown hair.
The "standard" ten-bird roast is: Turkey, Goose, Aylesbury duck, Chicken, Mallard duck, Guinea fowl, Pheasant, Pigeon, Partridge, and Woodcock. Which would no doubt also be endorsed by Clarissa and Jennifer. The idea behind the ten-bird roast can only be described as "gluttony" or "excess" and involves stuffing each bird inside a progressively larger bird until you reach the Turkey.
As my DC are now at pre-prep or nursery during the week, I've been able to go to Daylesford and Clarkson's farm shop during the week to pick-up provisions. As soon as I finally managed to find the tenth bird last week (pigeon-not popular at the moment as it happens) DH suggested (over FaceTime) that ten birds would not be enough and that we should aim for eleven birds.
I think this is because he is in fact channelling his mother who is somewhat of a "Grande-Dame" who revels in some kind of narcissistic one-upmanship, and that my DH, despite being in his late-forties, has never quite been able to stand up to her.
Anyway, I duly went to Screwfix and bought a tapemeasure to measure our Aga ovens and determined that it would not be quite possible to fit an Ostrich, and determined that a Quail would have to be the eleventh-bird.
Anyway, DH came home yesterday. He lives in London during the week.
He said that "eleven birds" were not to be taken literally and that I am the eleventh bird! I am the eleventh bird on Christmas day!
However charming my DH might be, after all this, AIBU to say No! DH cannot carve the eleven bird roast!!!!