Husband and his lack of communication

[Timetoleavefd]

Apparently he booked an event for the kids and tickets to cinema just for us not the kids but then at 1pm he decided to go and get DD’s bike “fixed” (stabilisers removed not fixed) which I’ve been asking for TWO years for him to take as I refuse to do 100% of everything around the house, and teaching kids to ride the bike is one thing he should do.

I’m upset now as I got the kids ready and he didn’t return till 4pm ish by which time it’s too late to go. Now he tells me it was already too late as we should have left latest 12pm to make both things and got him to drop kids off to his parents. I’m just so upset , he does this constantly he never actually communicates with me. I was going to pick up blood test form from doctor and that’s when I realised he took the car - if he had told he he’s going to get the bike fixed I would have told him it’s ridiculous as she won’t be riding it right now and can wait till after Xmas. Also blood test horns were not important I could have picked up after Xmas but it was just one thing on my to do list and dr is around the corner and would take me 3mins max to pick up.

im so annoyed with him. If I book anything I always send a confirmation do he knows what time we leaving etc. before anyone asks of course I asked him what the plans but he was vague and I was rushing around yesterday and today getting stuff done. But had he emailed me all the confirmations I would have an idea. The kids are upset as we e been arguing all day. I feel he holidays have been wasted. Off to his bloody mothers house tomorrow then s few days later I’m back in work

Why do men do this?

Mine will suddenly decide something needs doing just as we are getting ready to go somewhere, that isn’t urgent or could have been done earlier.
Friend’s husband decided to paint the window frames the day they had an important family event and missed half of it.

After your update of 7 years with no intimacy or sex life and I'm also wondering why you are with him? You sound as though you're still relatively young OP. Life really is too short to put up with this shit. If he's not prepared to work on the communication issues with you, or explore being intimate again, then you should consider what you want from life and make changes accordingly.

I’m just really fed up. I numbed my feelings with alcohol and food again last night night and now feel so tired and fed up. I really don’t want to wreck the kids holidays. I feel intense anger at him but don’t know how to calm down. I don’t feel strong enough to leave as I feel very down.

Really bizarre.

so did he say he forgot about the events he had booked or what?

I would make him call up the company and the cinema and plead with them to rebook the tickets

I tried to rebook it but I’m not getting anywhere. I told him I’m upset he did this and his reaction was he’s going to book again today! I told him under no circumstances to do that as I’m trying to get things ready for Xmas. He’s accusing me of being childish because I refuse to go with him now

A child needing stabilisers off a bike for TWO years?

Surely you have 1. Missed the boat a little getting them to learn and 2. That bike must be way too small now, kids grow. Has your child really been riding a bike with stabilisers when they dont need them for TWO years? I'm gobsmacked

Of course this isn't the issue here. Clearly you need to communicate better with your husband and help him if he has difficulty planning things

@NoKnit the bike is fine for her, maybe was too big to start with as it’s fine. Yes it was 2 years as I asked him to teach her but he didn’t. I do 100% of household things and I see it as his only job to teach her as I can’t ride a bike! I never learnt donuts it was his responsibility which I stand by

I literally can't handle bad communication. It boils my blood more than almost anything else.

Yes very strange and the fact it needed taking somewhere to remove them, surely you just unscrew them. I don’t think I could be married to someone one so inept.

This reminds me of another thread about men doing random shit when they’re meant to be going on holiday. ADHD was mentioned a lot. To waste not one but two opportunities is mad. You say he’s always been like this? I’m another who doesn’t understand why you’re still together. You don’t sound as though you even like him?

Greetings original commenter
You're most surely not being childish, just wounded & learnt from hindsight, previous experiences, not to jump in & accept, for immensely understandable fear, that your husband might, very well, repeat the same circumstances all over again 🫂
It's unreasonable, unrealistic & unfair of him to expect you to just completely forget what's just happened
God Bless You&Yours 💚
I'm praying he's commencing to see the light💚🫂💚

Thank you all. I’m feeling better about it, I’ve been researching autism in men and I go think he had it as he has all the traits. I feel bad that I could have been nicer to him but it’s so tough. I’m trying to find the groups someone suggested for spouses with autism

Look on Meetup app Support group for spouses/partners of adults with autism

How on earth did it take him three hours to remove stabilisers? Surely that's a ten-minute job?