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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have to do an ‘Emma Thompson’ this Christmas?

515 replies

Changes26 · 23/12/2025 19:13

We all know the scene from ‘Love Actually’. AIBU to think I’m not the only one who is doing an Emma Thompson this Christmas? I.e. putting a brave face on whilst everything else crumbles around you?

You can share why you’re Emma Thompsoning your way through the festive period or just give a knowing nod whilst you scream inside.

Me? I’ve split up with my partner as I’ve realised it’s a toxic relationship after an incident last week. I’ve told no one and he’s back home after 4 night away. I am just smiling through it all so our daughter doesn’t have a shit Christmas and more difficult memories to work through in future therapy.

Separation, divorce, grief, bereavement, complicated family, homelessness or financial ruin?

Here’s to getting through the next few days and a brighter 2026!

OP posts:
Original poster
Changes26 · 23/12/2025 21:59

@FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine Sending you so much strength and love to you and your son xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Changes26 · 23/12/2025 22:01

@Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen sending you so much love xx

OP posts:
Mistletoemiss · 23/12/2025 22:02

bobbadee · 23/12/2025 20:40

18 months ago I got told my cancer had returned, it had spread, and I had 18 months to live.

I’ve fallen out with my DH this year. We’ve spent hours talking and crying. It’s not going well.
my 2 young children don’t know anything is wrong.

once again, I’ll be plastering on a smile and making the most of every minute with my children. I look at them and my heart shatters with grief for them.

im sorry the women here are having their own troubles. One problem doesn’t trump another.

You are all seen. merry Christmas to you all.

I’m so sorry to read this. You sound like an amazing Mother and my heart breaks for you and your beautiful children. I hope you reach a resolution with your DH 💐

babbi · 23/12/2025 22:04

AgentBalls · 23/12/2025 21:19

God, my problem seems so silly compared to the heartbreaking circumstances on this thread. Sending love to each and every one of you💐

Mine, is that it’s another year single. I would love children and a family of my own one day. But feel at 32, time is running out. I’m the only one in my friendship group who is single and has no kids. I’ll be seeing my parents, siblings and SIL’s, aunts, and my lovely elderly grandparents on Christmas Day. So I’m very very lucky. But somehow, still feel so incredibly isolated, lonely and unloveable.

Edited

@AgentBalls
met my ( now ex ) DH ,,at 33 had my DD ( the absolute JOY of my life ) at 37 .. so you never know ..and I wish you well .
Im eternally single now though which hurts so I do understand but please don’t give up hope

Original poster
Changes26 · 23/12/2025 22:04

lifeonmars100 · 23/12/2025 21:44

So many heartbreaking stories on here and so many awe inspiring women who somehow find the strength to put one foot in front of another literally and metaphorically. My heart goes out to anyone who is feeling low and out of kilter at this "merry and bright" time of year. The darkness, the emphasis on togetherness can make feelings of loss, isolation, fear or just feeling less than connected to how we are told we should be living and feeling much more intense. Virtual big mugs of hot tea to all (or whatever drink comforts you) and hugs too

So beautifully put.

I always try and remind myself that in the darkest of times, there’s always a glimmer of light that leads you on.

Sending glimmers of light to you all. It’s so sad to read these stories but I’m glad it’s a place to share collective loss, grief and hardship. I hope it can bring a moment’s relief for anyone going through it at the moment. It has certainly made me feel less alone during a very dark time.

OP posts:
ChocolateCinderToffee · 23/12/2025 22:05

A lovely friend died yesterday and the first week of January will be the anniversary of two more. Have just been let down by a friend and upset about that but it's more a final straw. Keep wandering around grizzling and I know my problems are slight compared with what a lot of people have posted on here, but I really don't have anyone I can talk to about them.

treesandsun · 23/12/2025 22:05

tanstaafl · 23/12/2025 19:46

I’m sure ET would prefer you to use her characters name.

I really think you're missing the point of the thread Anyway, What makes you so sure? ET had a ET moments herself when she had to carry on producing a film following finding out that Kenneth Branagh had been cheating on her

HildegardP · 23/12/2025 22:07

Endeavour1971 · 23/12/2025 20:08

Divorce and losing my 33 year old son to suicide this year.
Drinking Baileys and watching 80s Xmas hits on TV hoping I'll feel better.
I dont 😥

Oh, Endeavour, my heart. Baileys, snowballs, a mountain of pigs in blankets -whatever gets you through.
Please accept awkward ASD hugs.

R459 · 23/12/2025 22:08

Similar situation here, my partner left 2 weeks ago, came back but is constantly telling me he wants to leave again. I’m trying to put on a brave face for the kids for Christmas but im struggling.

R459 · 23/12/2025 22:08

Similar situation here, my partner left 2 weeks ago, came back but is constantly telling me he wants to leave again. I’m trying to put on a brave face for the kids for Christmas but im struggling.

thesecondmrsdewinter20 · 23/12/2025 22:09

AgentBalls · 23/12/2025 21:19

God, my problem seems so silly compared to the heartbreaking circumstances on this thread. Sending love to each and every one of you💐

Mine, is that it’s another year single. I would love children and a family of my own one day. But feel at 32, time is running out. I’m the only one in my friendship group who is single and has no kids. I’ll be seeing my parents, siblings and SIL’s, aunts, and my lovely elderly grandparents on Christmas Day. So I’m very very lucky. But somehow, still feel so incredibly isolated, lonely and unloveable.

Edited

I met my now fiance at 32. You’re still so young! There is time ♥️

sending love to everyone on this thread x

lifeonmars100 · 23/12/2025 22:10

AgentBalls · 23/12/2025 21:19

God, my problem seems so silly compared to the heartbreaking circumstances on this thread. Sending love to each and every one of you💐

Mine, is that it’s another year single. I would love children and a family of my own one day. But feel at 32, time is running out. I’m the only one in my friendship group who is single and has no kids. I’ll be seeing my parents, siblings and SIL’s, aunts, and my lovely elderly grandparents on Christmas Day. So I’m very very lucky. But somehow, still feel so incredibly isolated, lonely and unloveable.

Edited

It is not silly to feel that the things you are going through are trivial. Your feelings are as valid and real. When life doesn't seem to be working out as we had hoped it hits hard especially at this time of year. 32 is young and it sounds as if you are surrounded by love so hopefully love in its other forms will come your way, Wishing you every good thing

KnittedMam · 23/12/2025 22:12

my wonderful dad died suddenly in August, I’ve finally got to the point in my marriage where I know I need to leave (secretly known this for ages but now just can’t take anymore), and I’m about to lose my job if I don’t quit first - massively struggled coming back from mat leave, made some mistakes (eventually diagnosed with ADHD) and had a breakdown. I have a 3 yr old and about to upturn her life in the new year.

Tillymint1234 · 23/12/2025 22:13

FacingTheEnd · 23/12/2025 21:52

Not quite the same but I've completely fucked up at work, like life ending (as in mine, I haven't harmed anyone else) I have to own up when we go back in January. It will be the end of my marriage, my kids will never see me the same and at best I'm going to walk away with nothing.

I've just got this last Christmas as a family before our world implodes and it is all my fault.

I am so sorry . Take heart , people make mistakes and do things that are out of character . It will pass . Things end up working out one way or another in the end .

Sorrynotsorry2 · 23/12/2025 22:15

We lost my DFIL suddenly and unexpectedly. I registered his death yesterday and have planned his funeral today.

illsendansostotheworld · 23/12/2025 22:16

Endeavour1971 · 23/12/2025 20:08

Divorce and losing my 33 year old son to suicide this year.
Drinking Baileys and watching 80s Xmas hits on TV hoping I'll feel better.
I dont 😥

So sorry xxx

FancyCatSlave · 23/12/2025 22:16

I’m spending my last Xmas with DD and her dad in our dream home. We just finished renovating it, but our divorce was finalised last week and it is for sale. It literally makes me sick that I have to leave here. I am devastated.

We usually host my family but that was out of the question this year so it is the 3 of us pretending to be a family for the last time and trying not to argue.

I just can’t wait for it to be over but DD is only 6 so it’s a big deal for her and I am determined it is lovely for her. But I just wish I could fast forward to 2026.

Even getting out the Christmas decorations I was mentally dividing them in to his and mine and will box them up separately at the end.

It’s shit.

thesecondmrsdewinter20 · 23/12/2025 22:17

FacingTheEnd · 23/12/2025 21:52

Not quite the same but I've completely fucked up at work, like life ending (as in mine, I haven't harmed anyone else) I have to own up when we go back in January. It will be the end of my marriage, my kids will never see me the same and at best I'm going to walk away with nothing.

I've just got this last Christmas as a family before our world implodes and it is all my fault.

I have had a couple of different careers and in each of them I’ve been convinced I’ve made a terrible, life-ending mistake. Each time I was wrong. I am sure it’s not as bad as you think. We are human, we make mistakes. Sometimes we do things we know are wrong, too. But there’s always a way through, always.

Mediocrewife · 23/12/2025 22:19

My beloved Dad died 2 weeks ago. I'm functioning and smiling for the kids but crying at nights once they're in bed. I miss him so much it hurts.
My friends mum died the day after Dad so we're both having a shit christmas.
Just trying to cope with one day at a time is exhausting.
Sending love to other PPs, theres some amazing strong people here.

blueumbrella2016 · 23/12/2025 22:20

Gawd that film is so lame.

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 23/12/2025 22:21

AmyDuPlantier · 23/12/2025 21:08

It’s official. There is now NO thread on here in which people will not try to shit all over the OP for no reason apart from their own lack of character.

Show quote history

I could not have worded it better myself…. X

Actupfishy · 23/12/2025 22:21

My beautiful mam was given a cancer diagnosis on boxing day and was gone by august

BlueEyedBogWitch · 23/12/2025 22:25

First Christmas NC with my eldest sibling and their family.
One of my DC having a very tough time.

Bonesy1 · 23/12/2025 22:25

I can only
imagine how difficult this is for you

Enigma54 · 23/12/2025 22:27

Endeavour1971 · 23/12/2025 20:08

Divorce and losing my 33 year old son to suicide this year.
Drinking Baileys and watching 80s Xmas hits on TV hoping I'll feel better.
I dont 😥

Sending virtual hugs and support. This sounds so incredibly tough. One minute at a time, one foot in front the other ❤️