To have to do an ‘Emma Thompson’ this Christmas?

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We all know the scene from ‘Love Actually’. AIBU to think I’m not the only one who is doing an Emma Thompson this Christmas? I.e. putting a brave face on whilst everything else crumbles around you?

You can share why you’re Emma Thompsoning your way through the festive period or just give a knowing nod whilst you scream inside.

Me? I’ve split up with my partner as I’ve realised it’s a toxic relationship after an incident last week. I’ve told no one and he’s back home after 4 night away. I am just smiling through it all so our daughter doesn’t have a shit Christmas and more difficult memories to work through in future therapy.

Separation, divorce, grief, bereavement, complicated family, homelessness or financial ruin?

Here’s to getting through the next few days and a brighter 2026!

F.o.c.u.s!

Hi op please tell someone you trust you need to vent. I hope he’s not cheating on you he has been really Selfish you need to cry even if it’s When your dc is in bed otherwise you will explode.

I Love Love Love this fab Facebook clip 💕
www.facebook.com/reel/1427247352154384

I will do after Christmas. I don’t want to burden anyone and with it being potentially my dad’s last Christmas, I need to just keep going. Telling people will make it harder as I am lucky to have lovely friends who I know who would be worried.

He hasn’t cheated - he was just beyond horrible to me when he came home drunk last week and unfortunately it woke our daughter up. It’s not the first time he’s crossed this line but I’ve decided this time is the last.

For the sake of everyone here who is struggling, please go away.

Find the attention you're in desperate need of on a different thread.

Sending you all a big hug. You are all incredibly strong (and I would crumble at a lot less) x

Op sorry to hear that you can post here until then if you need to. you will get through this it will take time but you will it’s hard when you’re already suffering then something else is happening you think seriously wtaf. Big hugs you’re a great mum and daughter not worrying anyone else while you go through this shit storm.

To the other posters except the stupid one you know who you are E.T.
big hugs to you all. Christmas is not always good for people and it highlights the problems you are facing when others are all excited and your suffering inside. just about holding it together. So sorry life is shit and cancer is fucking awful and grief. Really wish I could tell Christmas to jog on it’s not always a good time for some of us.

Thankyou. What a lovely kind empathetic post. 😊

Thankyou, the worst part is ive been here before! He was supposed to be my happy ever after after a shitty first marriage ended with that one cheating on me and leaving when our youngest was 1. He was dad to my 2 from that marriage.

45, heading to my 2nd divorce seemingly. Ive done it before I can do it again, I just dont want to have to, I love him so much still.

Another cancer one here. Feeling reasonably cheerful - it’s probably worse for those around me.

Sending all the best thoughts to the others on this thread and out there in the world.

I and my husband (i suspect my adult children too) did it when my husband was ill and being treated for Cancer,i still do it now (high days and holidays including Christmas) since my husband death 5 yrs ago.
It doesnt get easier with time and grief can break through the mask at any time even now.
I don't regret doing it though (i promised my husband id make the bloody best of things and i try)
I know the bereaved,divorced,heartbroken,ill or loved one ill all do it.
Having some downtime to decompress does help.
Those with ordinary life difficulties do it too.
The brave face is tough but has benefits too.
Happy Christmas Xx

This is awful. I am so sorry. Well now you know not to put yourself out too much for her in future and concentrate on your child xx

OP - you are really amazing remember you are loved. I was reading this thread before I went shopping and I've been thinking about you all going through so much and how strong you all are putting on a brave face and doing an 'Emma Thompson' - I'm going to flick that switch and put on my big pants too.

I'm actually heart-broken, my adult daughter felt out with me 6 months ago and I've been cancelled, even though I have tried to reach out to her a few times, even when my brother was in hospital and my Father very unwell with cancer, she has not replied. It makes me feel soooooo unloved. My own mother has been difficult, but I have stood by her as appreciate she has a lot on her plate.

We all seem to be dealing with so much....I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you all and wishing peace and happiness.

Lets all hope that things will get better for us all and atleast we can find the strength to look forward and find joy.

DS 10 is having treatment for cancer, last chemo a couple of weeks ago so was looking forward to him having a break and feeling a bit better over Christmas. We are back on the ward as he's spiked a fever and seems to have some sort of infection. My younger two are at home with my husband. I'm trying to keep upbeat about how good the doctors are at getting things sorted and how nice everything is I'm here. I just want to cry.

And shit though this is, it's nothing to what some of you have posted. I'm so sorry for what everyone else is going through, wishing you all the strength to keep going through what you have to.

Sorry to hear about your struggle. Yes this time of year is so enotionaly charged isn't it. I hope you're not too uset and you manage to have a good time over the holiday 🎄❤️

Oh my goodness it certainly is not nothing .I hope they get his temperature sorted quickly and you can both be back home asap. Wishing him and you and your family all the very best and sending a big warm handhold xx

This thread breaks my heart. I had my ET moment/moments 6yrs ago (and further back): XH and his antics (and my lightbulb moment of "enough is enough"!), my parents dying, XH and I splitting/divorcing etc. I've never forgotten how I felt then, I don't think people do really, do they? Sure, my life isn't always easy now, but it is still a damned sight better than back then, and reflecting back on the old ET moments makes me appreciate my current life so much. I'm sending love, strength and peace to all. I really hope that things resolve for people xxx

3 bereavements in 3 months. 2 of my siblings need a lot of support as NHS waiting lists have exacerbated their health issues (including cancer).

DH redundant with not a single response to his 300+ applications. I have to keep the faith but know vanishingly few people over 50 who are finding employment.

DH is too ashamed to tell people and it’s wrecking his mental health.

I am taking every contract I can which is leaving me exhausted.

I could have written this.
Adult DD2 decided to be NC with us 6 months ago. On the few occasions we’ve seen us she has ignored us or cut us dead.

We have spent her entire life trying to appease her as nothing we ever did for her was good enough and she has never shown she’s cared about us in any way. I am heartbroken - especially as DD1 is expecting our 1st grandchild after 8 years of infertility. We just want the whole family to share the joy this baby will bring next year.

This whole thread has been heartbreaking. I’ve read every post and have been in tears reading all the harrowing stories.

I wish you all nothing but peace and to know that I’m thinking of you and sending love ❤️

@Bloatstoat Sending so much love to you and your son. I hope his recovery is positive and you all get some well-deserved happiness xx

I am so tired

When something " bad" is happening to you.. you think it just " you".. but it's happening to thousands of people all over the world... it's not a competition.. to each and everyone of us.. our " pain.. be it physical or emotional is just as important to each of us as it is to everyone one else.. l have one very very happy daughter.. spending her first Christmas with her new wife.. and 3 Grandkids ( two step) and myself.. then l have my other daughter who is stressed with 3 teenage boys all ASD and various problems.. l myself have chronic pain and 3 surgeries coming up... missing my sister who sadly passed away... last Christmas l was in Theraphy due to another mental breakdown... but l survived it..
Sending healing thoughts and virtual hug and love to anyone who may need it.
You are probably stronger than you realise.❤️🌺❤️

Spilt up with DH is September but we are still living in the same house. He has not taken it well and his mental health is terrible. DS14 asked what his dad hadn’t spoken to him in over a week. Trying to make it normal. For DS but it’s hell on earth. Constantly waiting for DH to erupt or do something awful and the atmosphere is oppressive.

I agree - so much of what makes Christmas alienating is the idea everyone else is happy. But we can take solace that we are not alone and that good times might follow bad, one day and that we have no option but to keep
on, keeping on.