To fake it for Christmas

[Tamrastarr]

My partner has a track record for poor behaviour and he has done it again. He caused an argument yesterday, swearing at me and being very rude and aggressive, carried it on today and then started again today in front of our adult children and one of their partners.

I ended up very upset and crying (not in front of the children) and then he apologised, admitted it was all his fault and said let's forget it.

We are meant to be hosting Christmas dinner for our children and their partners and our young grandchildren. I really feel like I am at the end of my tether with him and his gaslighting ways, and that I really should end things, but I don't want to ruin Christmas for everyone.

Should I just get through Christmas and then make my decision? I honestly felt like booking into a hotel today and staying away until Christmas is over, but I don't want to upset everyone else.

Just get through Christmas. It wouldn’t be fair to your children or grandchildren.

If you can get through Christmas for the sake of your family it would also give you time to consult a solicitor in the New Year and start getting your "ducks in a row" before revealing your next step to DH.

Best wishes x

I don’t think today or the next few days is for making big decisions. Get through the next few days OP. It is bad to be aggressive to you but do it in front of your adult child and their partner really indicates they have zero respect for anyone. Good luck for the next few days x

Just get through Christmas, ignore him as much as possible and once you've got through it, make a plan and leave. Your adult children will hopefully support you if they've seen how he treats you. Keep looking ahead to a more peaceful and happy life without him!

So sorry to read this. Yes, get through Christmas and then end things. 💐

I’d say get through Christmas, if you can. However - what do you really need to think about, OP?

Many years ago, my therapist said "keep it calm until after Christmas". I kept it calm, just watched and labeled stuff in my head, and ended it early January.

You can do it, just stay calm.

Can you book him into a hotel and enjoy Christmas with your family, without the boorish oaf? Then permanently give him the boot in the new year?

Yes I agree, get through Christmas and then start getting things organised so you can leave, better to get things sorted before you actually tell him you're leaving because otherwise he might make it impossible for you