Does anyone else turn into a pathetic mess when poorly?

[JulietSierra]

I’ve read on here about the dressing gown of doom that many men put on when poorly, but in my house I’m the pathetic one when unwell.

Ive succumbed to the lurgy that’s been flying round my school. I’m not ill, just full of cold with a headache and intermittent temperature. But I’m feeling so sorry for myself and have moaned for the last 4 days. My health anxiety is raging that it’ll turn into pneumonia and I’ve just splashed 30 quid on a jar of manuka honey in the vain hope that it will help.

Dh on the other hand would hardly even notice if he had these symptoms. He’d carry on completely as normal. Last time he had a cold, the only acknowledgment he gave it was to sing that he was in ‘Bogey Wonderland’ (to the tune of Boogie Wonderland) and gave the gym a miss for a couple of days.

I really wish I could give myself a good shake and change my attitude. I’m such a wet blanket. Anyone else as pathetic as me??

I’m feeling like I’m coming down with something and I’m not impressed. Downing the vitamin C, zinc, D & B!
Going to go to bed mega early. There’s soooo much to do still before the hoards descend!!! 🙈🙈🙈

Have also eaten some eyewateringly expensive local honey 🍯 🤣🙌

Do you have any bad experiences of illness as a child, OP?

I was chronically ill as a child and had multiple emergency hospital admissions. Life was quite seriously disrupted for a couple of years.

I am pathetic when ill, and become very very emotional. I’m almost positive that it’s triggering, as the young people say - feeling very young, having no control, and no idea when/if I’ll ever be better again.

I’m sorry you feel so crap, OP!

Something I only realised recently is that I really genuinely was getting more severely ill than other people from standard viruses.

When people talked about having a cold ‘for a couple of days’ I thought they were joking.

Any cold I ever got - throughout my life - became a secondary sinus & lung infection, lasting at least 6 weeks as GP would never give me antibiotics unless my oxygen sats were critical.

I had pneumonia 3 years in a row when DC was young and it took 2-3 months to recover each time. I’d be run down and fatigued for about half the year. I became very anxious about any cold I got, with good reason!

Eventally I discovered out I’ve been subclinically iron deficient for most of my life, and since taking a high dose of heme iron every other day my immune & respiratory system has been working much more like other people’s.

I had a cold this past autumn that really did only last a few days and it felt like a miracle.

Get checked out for small underlying deficiencies like iron, B12, vit d - it could make a huge difference.

I’ve actually been lucky and have very rarely been properly unwell. As I said, I’ve had pneumonia twice but even recovered from that within a couple of weeks, so no I’ve not really had any bad experiences of illness to cause this pathetic sorry for myself attitude.
I do have awful health anxiety and do hyper focus on every little twinge I get so I think it’s part of that to be honest.
Thank you so much for the kind replies and sorry that so many of you are feeling grotty too. Merry Christmas eh?? 😩😂

Yes me! You’ve basically just described me to a tee! I feel so sorry for myself when I’m ill and I spiral regarding my symptoms it’s bloody awful. I can absolutely sympathise with you .

Nope - literally can never be ill. No grandparents up the road (and would never spread germs to grandparents if I was ill and kids needed looking after). DH works long hours (often weekends) so from Day One of being a Mum, knew there was no option to be ill. In well over a decade, probably had a few hours in bed for something very painful (when it was extremely bad) and DH was home. Other than that, no days sick when I could actually be ill.

Not preaching but honestly find getting on actually make me feel better if its something like a cold. Im not saying dont rest if you need to, but for me, if I go to work, go for a walk or get on with things at home always feel much better than moping around and seen to get over it quicker. Not suggesting someone does that with flu etc, but a cold/cough/sore throat, think getting on with it does help.

I rarely get a cold and although im in work most of the week, have windows open all day at work (we all agree on it in my office as no one wants to be ill), windows always open at home and out in fresh air at the weekend on walks etc. Prob get one or two mild colds a year, worse cold only every few years. Fresh air (and Vit D) is a huge thing with illness.

A lot of the symptoms are actually caused by your immune system fighting the bug so could you flip it and rejoice that you have such a healthy strong immune system which is actively fighting the infection for you?

I’m a pathetic poorly person! I’m just trying to get over this flu thing. I get really depressed when I’m ill and it’s a constant battle trying to stay sane and relax. I’m terrible at relaxing!

I wouldn't say I get pathetic, but I am feeling mighty sorry for myself this evening as I spend a 4th night lying next to my poorly preschooler. I'm so gutted we may have to postpone christmas - which I know is silly, she won't care. But I've been so looking forward to this time together and christmas itself that I feel I must have pissed someone off for her to come down with an unrelenting fever (etc) right on top of Christmas. Harrumph.

I seem to have been sick on and off for the whole of December - flu-like virus which my son also had, followed by strep throat which made my neck and face swell up and required antibiotics, and now a heavy cold making me really headachey and lost my sense of taste just in time for Christmas. I have been complaining! Had to send husband and kids to a party at our lovely neighbours house tonight without me or I would have been like Banquo's ghost.

Husband usually powers through colds, but he's been really busy at work and I suspect he may get floored by illness now that he's stopped for Christmas.

Yeah. A pathetic mess who couldn’t speak. 4 weeks plus I still have callers ask if I have a cold.

i agreed with family the next time of feeling ill just call in sick, it caused to much damage which no one is going to thank you for.

We're all different and experience things differently, so just do what's right for you and don't feel you should apologise. Sometimes the toughest people seem to cope badly with things, and the self-confessed wimps sail through.

I enjoy a good wallow when I'm ill. Only minor illnesses though and I live alone so I don't inflict my mopey 'poor me' attitude on anyone but the dogs (and they are horribly unsympathetic).
Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself if can, obviously sometimes you have to just crack on so enjoy the sofa whilst you can I say!

Yea thats so me too Op I'm just a mess, cranky and just not good to be around my dp is amazing helpful and when he is sick it's like he isn't and keeps going i have to basically make him rest otherwise he will go until he collapses but I am just not good to be around most of my illnesses are migraines so I just lock myself away in a dark room (otherwise I will faint) and other sickness i just feel like shit so I try to rest up.
My son is older now so he helps himself and my partner does everything for us.

No I think you’ve misunderstood me…I’ve literally never taken to my bed when poorly. I still do everything that needs to be done. It’s more the mental thing. It makes me so sad, I feel completely sorry for myself and sure I’ll never be well again!😩

Yes, me. I'm the one who gets 'man flu' in our house , moans like buggery all the way through, dons the Dressing Gown of Plague, doses myself liberally with every otc drug available to humanity while OH just carries on as normal, bar a lot of very intrusive snottering and hacking.