How people present themselves on social media

[GingerbreadSkinnyLatte]

A woman I know is a classroom teacher and has been for 25 years, she's involved in lots of initiatives, coaching and always busy with things. She's taught all over the place and won awards.

I've been looking at her Instagram and it's full of things about lack of self esteem, losing weight, struggling since teen years to accept herself. About her bad luck with men and dating apps. Her Blaming herself all the time and saying she's fat. Facebook is similar. Chronicling journey with life coach. If you tie this up with other online footprint it looks wrong as if it's detracting from professional image. Over sharing I think. She wrote about how a ghoster and future faker destroyed her sense of self.

AIBU to think this is doing more harm than good and her professional life should speak for itself?

I think you should mind your own business.

Great answer. Thanks.

Agree. She’s not even a friend, just a woman the OP knows.

I have an acquaintance (part of the same mum friendship group) who is completely different on am than real life. In RL she’s quite quiet, extremely serious and always overwhelmed/stressed. On SM she makes a lot of content of her in fancy dress doing work outs, almost like she’s the life of the party/carefree. She’s got a lot of followers and sponsors, I’ve had to unfollow her as it feels like she’s a completely different person.

Whilst I generally agree sentiment in life, she is literally airing her "business" a public domain. Making it harder to ignore.

I'm a teacher too and I am incredibly guarded. I'd worry about parents reading it and making judgements that might be unfair.

ok but that’s you- she rightfully doesn’t really care about parents who believes that her lacklustre love life has any impact on her ability to teach

A lot of parents might have a bit of a giggle at the openness or a bit of smug pity- but realistically, what can these parents do? What effect does it have? What can their judgement do?

She clearly is accomplished professionally so it is making no difference

as a teacher who has had influencer colleagues (weight loss, fitness) and a parent- I honestly don’t care. Not what I would want to do, but the world is different, ‘dirty laundry’ isn’t a thing and it’s clearly an outlet for her.

I really don’t understand this.

People on SM are often different personas. So what? It can be like acting.

Why do you care?

Perhaps because it's inauthentic? I'd rather just be who I am and not a curated avatar.

The person I posted about has shared in great detail and "empowering" photoshoot.

It just seems so fake. We all know social media as bollocks but when it's right up in your face its hard not to eye roll.

Is her Instagram profile under the same name she uses as their teacher? I’ve got a few friends and acquaintances who are teachers and their social media accounts aren’t in their real / full names.

Either way, this isn’t your problem to worry about. You sound quite over-invested.

SM is fake. Is this a surprise to you?

Still not sure why you care?

Lots of people use SM to project the persona they would love to be in real life, i.e. sounding confident and interesting, whereas they are a shrinking violet and introverted. I try to be myself and authentic on here, enjoy reading posts that make me laugh and sympathise with people's problems, I see most of it as entertainment, I'm not much of a telly watcher and MN is a form of escapism for me, it's interesting to get a glimpse of people's lives without actually being involved 😐

"You sound quite over invested" - Mumsnet classic stock phrase. Posting about something doesn't equate to over investment. It's a forum to discuss things.

It's not but she's shared school things on it.

I find it fascinating that people present themselves online to people that know in RL its not true.
Not sure why its hard to get that some of us find all the bollocks annoying. I like SM for somethings but this side of it is a bit sad.

Perhaps it’s not being presented to you per se. Perhaps it’s aimed at a far far broader audience. Perhaps you aren’t even in the SM poster’s head one bit?

That's a weird response. Nobody thinks people curate their social media just for them.

And it’s not worth getting concerned,, worked up or annoyed or over invested in it then, is it?

I've not seen anyone doing any of those things.

None of my teachers friends would have their real name on soc media. It’s asking for trouble.

Agree. I have a couple
of friends who present their persona for their “alternative” businesses - somantic healing/ manifestation type schtick…both tell out and out lies about their backstory or the impact they’re having…. They have both used examples of mutual friends who have died, in their “personas” to try and seem more interesting or relatable. I find this incredibly inappropriate.
Anyone who knows them can see what utter bollocks it is. It’s cringe making in the extreme.