Christmas gifts to/from colleagues.

[NeedyLimeMember]

My husband works in a senior position at a large company. Lots of his colleagues are from India, Sri Lanka and Thailand (relevant as I think there is a cultural aspect to this). He has been given gifts by a couple of colleagues so far, whom he hadn't planned to buy for. He's also in work tomorrow and thinks he may get more. He's not particularly into giving gifts, but is now wondering if he needs to reciprocate. They aren't just little cheap things either - one was a decent bottle of spirits. He hasnt budgeted for buying gifts for colleagues. We don't want to offend anyone by buying or not buying in return. What would you do?
YABU - he should buy gifts in return
YANBU - it's not necessary to reciprocate - expressing gratitude is sufficient.

Are they equal colleagues or direct reports?
as a manager I do buy my team token gifts, it's part of my team building strategy. If I colleague on the same level I would not start buying gifts, it's a terrible precedent. Can he have a word with HR/senior management about it as there may need to be some comms to the whole organisation about expectations of Christmas - they can't have some people spending ££ on colleague gifts because they think it's expected and then getting offended when they don't reciprocate. Assuming this is a UK company and their are employed by the company, they should be advised to follow UK norms. Anything else is a minefield.

Thanks for your reply - they are people who report into him. He has a huge team, including part time and temporary staff, so buying gifts for all would be tricky. I'm thinking a couple of boxes of nice biscuits or chocolates for everyone might be a good idea.

I buy a gift for my direct reports (5 people) and some of them reciprocate although I don't expect them to. I don't buy for colleagues or my entire wider team (that would be upwards of 50 people!). Sometimes I bring in chocolates/mince pies for the office in the lead up.

Gift giving in the work place should only ever go downwards.

There may be a cultural element here,but that irrelevant your DH should have nipped this in the bud right away, and politely refused the presents ,ad let the giver know that while this was kind of them, gifts to the manager are not necessary. A card is fine, gifts a hard no.

Interesting take. I've never thought to decline a gift. Seems a bit rude to me?

It would be rude as fuck, no matter what the person's culture is.

I think some boxes of posh biscuits etc for the staff room table is a good idea.

Not at all! Not in the workplace. Managers are paid more than those they manage. People might feel obliged to buy for a manager if other team mates do, even if they can't afford it. There could be a perception of favouritism later down the line. It creates blurred lines at work and is best avoided, to stop unforeseen complications at a later date.

It's just common sense in the workplace.

Biscuits from the manager to their staff is a good idea. But accepting presents from your reports is not a good idea.

And do you think refusing them after they've spent their money, wrapped them and handed them over is a good idea?

Or are you saying they should send a memo round?

I think the memo wouldn't be rude but refusing to accept a gift absolutely would.

Just buy a box of biscuits or chocolates for the office, something everyone can share instead of buying individual gifts

Great idea...if you want your ongoing working relationship to be extremely awkward.

I do chocolates/ biscuits for the team.