Feeling quite disillusioned with people right now. Where to start? I feel like almost everybody in my life has let me down, except for my lovely Mum, who is sadly no longer with us.
I guess it’s easiest to order things chronologically.
Firstly, my first husband cheated on me for the entirety of our 20 year relationship. Obviously, I didn’t know that that was happening at the time. So there’s a huge major first disappointment. After I found out, I left him, and not one of my close friends even bothered to call me to find out how I was. In addition, my sister-in-law’s who I had been close to for 20 years never once checked in on me, and his whole family never spoke to me again, despite knowing the reason for me leaving him. Just before I left him, my very best friend in the world actually shagged him and our whole friendship came crashing down.
I moved to a different area and made some new friends. Wonderful I thought. The first friend that I made turned out to be a raging alcoholic who I spent for too much time supporting. She was abusive to her daughter and when I sided with her husband about something, she accused me of having an affair with him! He was about 30 stone and ugly and I had a new partner at the time, the very suggestion was ridiculous.
Another new friend that I made attacked me on a night out because a guy that she fancied slipped me his number (in my back pocket unknown to me!)
I have one sister. When our mum died, I had to go through her emails to try to find out who her Car Insurance was with. I found several emails from my sister to my mum slagging me off in the worst way possible. The emails were full of lies about me. Thank goodness my lovely mum knew that none of it was true and rebuffed everything that she said. I have to be cordial with this sister because our dad is still alive and needs a lot of shared care between us.
I have now moved to a different area and made friends with several neighbours, which I have really enjoyed. However, two of these women are fucking nut jobs and I have found out that they have been talking about me awfully behind my back.
My adult son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and due to perhaps his medication not being right, he has been quite horrible to to me, sending me very long and rambling messages that are very upsetting.
My daughter who is also an adult now, is coming home for Christmas and cannot seem to commit to when she will see me, as she always puts her husband’s dad and her own dad first above myself. This is despite me raising her almost alone, doing everything for her and paying for everything when the two Dad’s mentioned above did nothing for her or her husband.
I am married now to somebody else, so I am on husband number two. We have been together for a long time now, and he is generally a decent person, however, he does absolutely nothing at home. I have done all of the preparations for Christmas, including for his side of the family as well as my own, and the very few things I asked him to do, he has not bothered to do.
My sister-in-law to my current husband is as mad as a box of frogs. The expectations from her around Christmas are off the charts despite the fact that me and my husband both work at Christmas. We have had abusive messages in this regard.
My husband’s father is no better. He is worth a fortune, but never treats any of his children to anything, and I don’t even get a card on my birthday from him.
My own father was very abusive when I was growing up. I am now left to care for him, which does rankle. I think that he is good at heart underneath everything., And has just had a shitty hand himself which has made him short tempered.
When I was in my 20s, I felt so trusting of everybody and would love to sit and chat with female friends for hours on end, pouring our hearts out and bonding. I no longer feel that I can do this with anyone, I know that I can have a good time with people, but no one is really ever let in anymore.
I’m happy enough overall, but I’m just sitting here tonight on my own, trying to think of how many people in my life I could truly truly trust not to be an absolute dickhead. And the list is short. In fact, it’s not even a list.. It’s one person. My mum. And what’s sad about that, is that I didn’t even realise that when she was alive. I was spending time with all of these dickheads, without appreciating my lovely lovely mum.
Sorry, that was long.