Last minute present shopping

ItsDarkNow · 22/12/2025 19:18

No YANBU.
You are another woman married to a lazy useless man. Unless you happily martyr yourself all the time.

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 19:40

So long as he buys you something decent, I can’t see why it makes any difference whether he gets it a week in advance, a month in advance or the dsy before. As for disrespectful? Seriously, get a grip.

Now, if you’re asking whether he should be helping with the other Christmas things, that’s different. No reason why that should all be on you.

Happyjoe · 22/12/2025 19:46

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 19:40

So long as he buys you something decent, I can’t see why it makes any difference whether he gets it a week in advance, a month in advance or the dsy before. As for disrespectful? Seriously, get a grip.

Now, if you’re asking whether he should be helping with the other Christmas things, that’s different. No reason why that should all be on you.

Maybe she'd like him home on Xmas eve, to either give a hand or share a glass of wine together? It would annoy me that my partner wasn't there tbh for no reason other than being disorganised.

TinselTitts · 22/12/2025 19:55

No, my DH got mine about 3 weeks ago which is around the same time as I got his.

We've 3 adult sons and they finished shopping ages ago.

But they'll leave the wrapping until late on Christmas Eve as usual and then discover they've run out 🤐🎄

Original poster

Zoeyclash · 22/12/2025 20:03

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 19:40

So long as he buys you something decent, I can’t see why it makes any difference whether he gets it a week in advance, a month in advance or the dsy before. As for disrespectful? Seriously, get a grip.

Now, if you’re asking whether he should be helping with the other Christmas things, that’s different. No reason why that should all be on you.

I don't mind doing all the other Christmas jobs - in fact I love doing them! I work very part time and DH works very long hours, so I don't mind that it's left to me. DH totally does his fair share of housework/cooking/childcare etc considering his work hours and mine. I just would love the idea that a bit of thought and consideration had gone in to the Christmas present he bought for me instead of a dash in to town at the last minute, and picking up anything he can find. It's not a huge deal at all in the grand scheme of things I just wanted to see what others' thoughts were about it.

OP posts:

TheCosyViewer · 22/12/2025 20:06

So your DH works very long hours and you work very part time - does he have time before Christmas Eve to go shopping ? Does it make a difference when he buys if it’s something you like?

Original poster

Zoeyclash · 22/12/2025 20:47

TheCosyViewer · 22/12/2025 20:06

So your DH works very long hours and you work very part time - does he have time before Christmas Eve to go shopping ? Does it make a difference when he buys if it’s something you like?

He always finds the time to somehow fit in a bit of shopping if he needs new sports equipment or a new gadget or whatever! Plus he works at a computer most of the day - he could have bought something online.

OP posts:

MrsLizzieDarcy · 22/12/2025 20:51

DH does the same. Always left to Christmas Eve, even though he asks me for a list at the beginning of December and the worst part is that he goes off grid, ignoring my list completely saying I don't need more perfume or boots. No I don't "need" them but I "want" them. I'm already bracing myself.

TableRunners · 22/12/2025 20:53

Yes, DH does this. But I'm cool with it. Usually I nominate something earlier in the year that is going to be by Xmas present. Saves all the angst, on both sides.

Statsquestion1 · 22/12/2025 20:54

Nope, he ordered and arranged everything and started in early November. Last one arrived last week and he’s wrapped them already. He works full time…as do I.

Sunshine8537 · 22/12/2025 20:55

Zoeyclash · 22/12/2025 20:03

I don't mind doing all the other Christmas jobs - in fact I love doing them! I work very part time and DH works very long hours, so I don't mind that it's left to me. DH totally does his fair share of housework/cooking/childcare etc considering his work hours and mine. I just would love the idea that a bit of thought and consideration had gone in to the Christmas present he bought for me instead of a dash in to town at the last minute, and picking up anything he can find. It's not a huge deal at all in the grand scheme of things I just wanted to see what others' thoughts were about it.

Edited

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Yes I agree! My partner waits until Mary has dilated 6 cm before he goes shopping. All last min and usually full price panic buys. I think this is down to undiagnosed ADHD as well. I would love some thought and consideration into the effort that is put in to making Christmas special for us all. I complain every year but still do it because of how he is and the thought of him paying full price for everything winds me up. He’s the same when we go on holiday - gets his hair cut the morning of so I’m left making sure we have everything; he even went shopping for a suit the morning of his nan’s funeral.

Christmas Eve shouldn’t be running road like a headless chicken. It should be relaxed. It annoys me the way people
on here are so defensive; gaslighting…like as long as he’s got it what’s the problem? You’ve got a right to be annoyed and a right to express how it makes you feel…but I bet we will do the same next year! 😩

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2025 21:38

Zoeyclash · 22/12/2025 20:03

I don't mind doing all the other Christmas jobs - in fact I love doing them! I work very part time and DH works very long hours, so I don't mind that it's left to me. DH totally does his fair share of housework/cooking/childcare etc considering his work hours and mine. I just would love the idea that a bit of thought and consideration had gone in to the Christmas present he bought for me instead of a dash in to town at the last minute, and picking up anything he can find. It's not a huge deal at all in the grand scheme of things I just wanted to see what others' thoughts were about it.

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And in that case, I think YABU. It doesn’t matter when he gets it, it matters what he gets.

Catza · 22/12/2025 22:00

Zoeyclash · 22/12/2025 20:03

I don't mind doing all the other Christmas jobs - in fact I love doing them! I work very part time and DH works very long hours, so I don't mind that it's left to me. DH totally does his fair share of housework/cooking/childcare etc considering his work hours and mine. I just would love the idea that a bit of thought and consideration had gone in to the Christmas present he bought for me instead of a dash in to town at the last minute, and picking up anything he can find. It's not a huge deal at all in the grand scheme of things I just wanted to see what others' thoughts were about it.

Edited

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Just because he is buying it last minute, doesn't mean there was no though or consideration. My ex used to plan my gifts very carefully, research for months, remember every little thing I mentioned throughout the year... and would still get them on the 24th. Or the 22nd if he was ordering it online.

DontPokeMe · 22/12/2025 22:09

Have you ever been to town on Christmas Eve, Op? It's mostly men rushing around in a panic. He is most definitely not alone. It's actually quite hilarious to watch - sales assistants have a field day!!

Yummybananas · 22/12/2025 22:27

Sunshine8537 · 22/12/2025 20:55

Yes I agree! My partner waits until Mary has dilated 6 cm before he goes shopping. All last min and usually full price panic buys. I think this is down to undiagnosed ADHD as well. I would love some thought and consideration into the effort that is put in to making Christmas special for us all. I complain every year but still do it because of how he is and the thought of him paying full price for everything winds me up. He’s the same when we go on holiday - gets his hair cut the morning of so I’m left making sure we have everything; he even went shopping for a suit the morning of his nan’s funeral.

Christmas Eve shouldn’t be running road like a headless chicken. It should be relaxed. It annoys me the way people
on here are so defensive; gaslighting…like as long as he’s got it what’s the problem? You’ve got a right to be annoyed and a right to express how it makes you feel…but I bet we will do the same next year! 😩

Show quote history

This really resonates with me ! Undiagnosed ADHD, same with mine, would literally go for a hair cut on the day of holiday. I'm only starting to notice these things more and more. And yes doing his present shopping on Xmas eve makes me want to cry argghhh but I feel somewhat better if actually he might not be a bastard but in fact other men do this but yes it's really fricking annoying...

Youmightnotliketheanswer · 22/12/2025 22:48

Dc2 was working (first Christmas) in retail today and said the shop was mostly men whom got very cross when they didn't have x perfume left. Said that his boss says wait till Christmas eve it'll be even worse. Apparently up till Friday 75% of customers were women ans mostly polite. Dc2 was amazed how its flipped and very proud that he wasn't one of them and announced 'ive bought and wrapped all my presents already'. I said I'd taught him well!

canklesmctacotits · 22/12/2025 22:55

My DH always leaves it to the last minute. He’s a great gift buyer, always does amazingly for birthdays and random things. Very thoughtful and often quite expensive stuff too. He’s open that he hates gift giving and gift receiving at Christmas. He resents it, thinks it’s forced and unnecessary (mostly because his mum puts so much pressure on him!) and therefore leaves it to the last minute even though he knows it falls on the same day every year. It’s fine. Not everyone has to love Christmas. He’s amazing otherwise.

Happilyobtuse · 22/12/2025 23:12

I think it is definitely a man thing! We were discussing this in office last friday and in our team we have 3 women and 9 men and only one man and all the women had finished their shopping. The rest were all planning to go over the weekend or between mon- wed this week. My DH also went shopping yesterday. God knows what he has got me last min. He is a good gift giver when it comes to birthdays and always buys things I like and does pamper me. But Christmas is always last min with him but still usually useful like pjs, hoodie, perfume, hotel chocolat hot chocolate machine, hat and gloves etc.

LucyLoo1972 · 29/12/2025 04:38

Zoeyclash · 22/12/2025 19:17

Does your DH leave it until the last minute to buy your Christmas present? My DH does his Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve every year. He only has two presents to buy - one for me and one for his mum. I know it's possible that he might have bought the same present whether he bought it weeks in advance or at the 11th hour, but it just annoys me that he leaves it so late. To me it seems lazy, disrespectful and lacking in effort to leave his present buying until Christmas eve. I take care of almost everything else for Christmas..... Santa presents, Christmas dinner, entertaining etc. AIBU?

mine has never bothered to buy me anything