Only children at Christmas

[Newmum738]

I’m finding Xmas holidays increasingly difficult as DS gets older. The other children in the family are on DH’s side and he won’t do anything to meet up with them.

He is currently off work with DS and refuses to organise a play date. DS is now asking to go to holiday club.

I find it quite heartbreaking because my DS is quite extroverted and whilst he is perfectly able to have time alone or with us, I think 2 weeks is too much and I feel very sad for him.

I've tried to find others in the same situation but no joy. It seems that many kids either have a sibling or other kids in the family or they are more introverted and happy enough in their own company.

Is anyone in the same boat or have suggestions about what to do? I’m thinking kids club or make sure I’m off work in the future. I’ve sent them to the park now. DH strongly disagrees that this is an issue.

AIBU to think that kids need to play with other kids?

Playdates can be tricky around Christmas because people are often away or busy with family stuff. He’s only off for 2 weeks so really he should be fine not playing with other kids. The issue is that it sounds like Dad isn’t bothering to do anything with him- if they were doing days out and activities he probably wouldn’t be bored and asking about holiday club. But if you have a decent one near you that DS enjoys then definitely do that in the future.

It's not a failing to send him to holiday club. I'm a lone parent to an extrovert only child and sometimes do this in the holidays solely for her socialisation. I do organise play dates too but it's not always possible, as you say people often have their own stuff going on.

TBH your DH sounds like a shit excuse for a father. It's fine to have some days knocking around at home, playing board games, making dens etc., but if he makes no effort with your DS then no wonder the poor kid is bored.

Kids need company, even the most introverted kids need help socialising.

If your DH is a low effort parent, can't he just have a friend over to play? Minimal supervision required, just supply lunch/snacks, and make sure there are toys and no screens.

He should be doing some things with him but children don’t need constant activities and entertainment. Learning to entertain themselves is an important skill.

The long term problem here is that your husband is so unbelievably selfish, he’d rather not get off his arse than do something that would make his son happy. Of course he doesn’t believe for a second that his son ‘doesn’t need it’ , he knows full well, he just puts himself first at all times to make his own life easier. Abhorrent parenting.

After a few days kicking around at home with a very bored DS on his hands wont your DH change his mind?

im in London and most clubs are closed now for the year so what clubs do you want him to do. Also it’s down time for the year end so everyone just is either busy or winding down. Your dh should take him out though. Lots of festive activities around. It is sad that he doesn’t socialise with anyone.

Does he not play outside? In the street? Have friends to call on?

I think you do need to be more organised with an only. We had friends over yesterday then have family things from today until 27th then have a catch up with other friends on the 29th