Everything is always my problem

[Xsazzy45]

I work, carer for disabled partner(am disabled myself) and two adult kids one mine one his, husband has done alot in past to help me allowed son to live here till sorted self out, often helps my mum family etc etc, but every single time with his daughter it's annoying, every issue is our issue, mainly money, she has a good job and partner and earns well but spends just as hard, now cars gone again, last car repair we got a call demanding 1000,she was told no and I offered to lend my car, as we have two vehicles, now I wish I hadn't as hers is broke so wants mine this time, she's getting own fully comp temporary car insurance and wants my car afew weeks, I feel like I cannot say no, I'm drained everything is always put on me and I'm unreasonable if I don't give money whatever, to me this girl needs to learn the ways of the world put money aside and crack on with life and not expect two disabled people to bail her out or support her constantly ,as partner does so much for my mum and family it's him I feel I cannot say no to him or her,
For context I work and we are topped up by benefit, whereas they have two full time well paid jobs yet she constantly runs to us when car goes or whatever, previously partner has bought food even with no offer to re pay, so no way I'd lend any money as we don't have much ourselves
For the sake of peace I cannot say no yet I so want to😭😭

I appreciate how difficult the situation is but let me offer a slightly different perspective.
You feel as is you don't have a choice. But you do. In fact you are actively making a choice here. You are making a choice between not giving help and peace. That's your decision.
You talk about peace but you are not at peace. They may be. So they have both the peace and the practical support. You are left with nothing.

You have a power to make a different choice. Yes, there will be consequences. Maybe. Maybe not. What's she actually going to do except to throw a tantrum? Not much, would you agree?

Once you get out of the mindset that you are powerless, you will see that you were making an active choice all along. And then you will feel empowered to make a different choice.

You just need to say no

Put yourself first

Best of luck