Christmas Present

[Peapod242]

So me and hubby have one child, his mother's only grandchild.
Obviously she adores her.
My hubby thought about doing a photobook for her Christmas present but I said not to, just because I felt like not all presents should be grandma related but it would be nice for birthday/mother's day.

Turns out hubby's brother has bought his mum a photobook of our child for Christmas.

We don't think it's his place to do this, plus he didn't consult us before buying it.

My hubby and his brother are not particularly close and BIL works away a few months of the year. But the rest of the time he's only seen our child a handful of times.

I want to say something about this gift being a bit inconsiderate to my hubby but AIBU?

Thank you, please be kind

Yes YABU. I can’t see how it’s inconsiderate to your dh and he’s perfectly capable of saying something himself if he so wants. It’s a gift you mil will obviously treasure and you want to cause animosity at Christmas for absolutely no good reason.

Oh yeah you are definitely being unreasonable.

You chose not to buy one.

Very odd attitude of yours there. Seems a really thoughtful gift.

Thanks all. Just found out my hubby asked his mum and she didn't want anything grandma related for xmas! Oh well!!

Where has he got the photos from? On the face of it, it sounds like he was just making a present for his mum that he knew she'd love. If your DH has a problem with it, let him speak to his brother and stay out of it. To be honest, I'd just let it go rather than cause an upset at Christmas.

I wouldn't get involved if I were you. If your husband is annoyed he can raise it with his brother, but it's not your place to get between them if your husband is happy to leave it.

I do think it's a bit odd to give someone a photo book of someone else's child, but I wouldn't call it inconsiderate. Just a little strange.

I think he's used his own photos but MIL said he didn't have many (which makes sense because he doesn't see our girl very much).
Personally I think he's done it as an 'easy' present. MIL said he saw an ad on fb and has just gone from there.
Plus the sibling dynamic is more competitive than loving so I guess there's more context to it all.

BIL isn't around at xmas, but you're right! Thank you :)

It’s very strange to get a photo gift of someone else’s child. Where did he get the photo’s from? Facebook? Group WhatsApp? I would be removing him if this is what he’s going to do with the photos.

My experience of giving the GP’s a photo book is that they get looked at once, put away and never looked at again. Both DM and MIL asked not to have them again and asked for framed photos they can look at everyday instead.

As a general rule, don’t get involved in arguments with your dh’s family. Families argue and make up but in law conflicts linger forever.

Yeah I agree. My DH got both grandparents a double photo frame last year!

I assume he's used his own pictures but I haven't seen the book yet. He's not mentioned it to us at all!

Very wise Gandalf 😆

It’s quite funny really! If you want to one up the gift for a future birthday etc, have a look at Zumyn or similar (photo mosaics). You can pick a lovely photo of her for the main image then select x number of photos of her children and grand children to make up the image, it’s really cool.

Aw that's a really nice idea! I'm actually looking for something for DH so will check it out.
Thank you