DH Xmas gift

[Mumonteaanddreamd]

My DH is the type of person who only wants what is on his list for Christmas. Complete opposite of me...I love spending time researching and trying to find the perfect gift for him. Unfortunately, if he gets something not on his list, he cannot hide his disappointment. (Eternal child really).

This year, I had a great idea to get him a smart watch. He is someone who regularly forgets appointments, always running late, lives his life by notes on scraps of paper, phone always on silent (awaiting ADHD assessment as executive functioning skills are poor). I thought this might be helpful for his day to day life. However, he has been going on and on about not deviating from his list so I thought I will just get him what was on his bloody list (gaming accessories), but still pretend I was getting him something I had thought of (I wanted to surprise him on Xmas day).

Today, he has gone out with our son and bought himself one of the gifts I bought him. The most expensive one. He said it was discounted so he couldn't really say no.

AIBU to be upset about this? I know he didn't know I got this for him but it's only a few days before Xmas and he had no reason to buy this.

What do you think I should do? HELP!!!

Return it and buy something nice for yourself 🙂

It’s not your DH fault, he didn’t ask for the item or know that you’ve already bought it. You’ll have to take it back and get a refund.

He has suspected ADHD. The list thing is one way of him having some control over his life.

It was a bit silly to deviate, and it is unreasonable to keep wanting to do that and cause stress to someone you presumably love.

Take the one you bought back, and tell him that you have done that, and the one he bought is part of his christmas present.

I’m sorry I don’t understand the OP fully but if he’s bought something that you said you wouldn’t buy or something he didn’t know you were getting as he was expecting list only items, he can’t really be in the wrong. Just tell him what has happened and either get something else or return one of the duplicate items.

He made it clear he wanted you to stick to the list and you said you would so as annoying as it is I don’t think it’s his fault.

If you’ve already got him the things on his list return it and buy something for yourself.

Not at all uncommon for someone with ADHD/ASD to prefer gifts from a list. My son always has a list and I stick with it. Why wouldn’t I? Christmas is about the receiver not the giver.
Your own fault really for playing games and pretending you weren’t going to buy from his list.