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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH stomach bug - to cancel xmas?

31 replies

clinellwipe · 21/12/2025 20:04

I have emetophobia so this is especially rotten 😬

DH was due to work nights throughout this coming week in hospital but is currently vomiting. Obviously he will be phoning work and informing them.

The original plan was that we have ‘Christmas lunch’ yesterday (which we did), then he was going to stay in our family home whilst I drove 3 hours with the kids (4 and 8 months) on Tuesday morning to spend Christmas with my parents.

DH does all the cooking and he also shares a double bed with our autistic 4 year old due to his sleep issues whilst I’m in a different room with the baby. Obviously we’re all sitting ducks here.

Ive told my mum the situation but I’m thinking I should call it now and cancel ? I hate the idea of coming down with it on the motorway, or giving it to my parents and just ruining even more people’s week. Such a shame as my son is so excited, I’m thinking pretend it’s Christmas next weekend once I’m guessing we’ll all be okay?!

anyone been in the situation and NOT caught it? That won’t influence my decision to cancel travelling, just wanting some reassurance :(

OP posts:
Tammygirl12 · 21/12/2025 20:05

How do you know you will definitely get it? He might have eaten something dodgy

Original poster
clinellwipe · 21/12/2025 20:05

Also we only have one fucking bathroom/toilet!!!!

OP posts:
SpangleTwangle · 21/12/2025 20:12

I recently had an experience when I came out of hospital all week and feeble and the day I returned home first one then the other of my kids came down with a vomiting bug.

Neither me nor my husband got it even though we live in a 2 bed house sharing 1 bathroom and cuddled, consoled, cleaned up after the kids etc etc. And even though my health and immune system was on the floor at that point. You might not get it!

WilfredsPies · 21/12/2025 20:14

I had Noro and DH didn’t get as much as a stomach ache. However, he is like Typhoid Mary, so not an example I would rely on. I think it would be a miracle if you don’t come down with it.

In your shoes, I’d do a quick supermarket delivery so if any of you are capable of eating, you’ll have something nice. Keep letting your DC think that Christmas is next week and postpone going to your family. I’m positive they’d rather that than the alternative, expect if they get a second Christmas with their DGCs.

Lennonjingles · 21/12/2025 20:17

You’ve warned your parents, so there’s not much more you can do, but wait and see. Norovirus is doing the rounds and is contagious, can you 3 sleep and stay apart from DH, clean toilet after he’s used it and clean any surfaces and use different towels to his.

yorkshiretoffee · 21/12/2025 20:18

Through the years we quite often didn't get sick if one or other of the children did. Despite them actually being sick on me.
What would your parents prefer? Taking the risk or delaying it? I'd be for going ahead if we were ok but I know my mum would prefer to postpone in this instance.

gogomomo2 · 21/12/2025 20:19

I’ve never caught it off my kids, it’s not inevitable

Hankunamatata · 21/12/2025 20:20

Coving seems to be presenting like this currently. I was hit hard. No one else came down with it and we have one bathroom.
Talk to your parents and see what they want to do

hollyandribbon · 21/12/2025 20:26

gogomomo2 · 21/12/2025 20:19

I’ve never caught it off my kids, it’s not inevitable

This. Also one year exh and kids came down with it and I didn’t catch it myself, despite obviously caring for the kids myself alone as ex was ill. I think you need to communicate closely with your parents around this, and what’s the latest they’ll need notice for to either not buy food or start freezing things etc.

Keep kids away from DH as much as you can, clean everything each time he uses the bathroom with disinfectant, lots of handwashing.

BringBackCatsEyes · 21/12/2025 20:29

I think if you have clinically diagnosed emetophobia then surely what anyone suggests here won’t make a difference, you’ll be behaving in a very distressed way and have very specific coping mechanisms. Have you had therapy?

Didimum · 21/12/2025 20:38

It wouldn’t occur to me not to go, only to leave the sick person at home. My husband and daughter got a sick bug two weeks ago. Me and my son were fine and didn’t even make too much effort to stay clear.

I do always inform guests or people I’m visiting though so they can make their own decision.

Original poster
clinellwipe · 21/12/2025 20:39

Thanks for responses.
My mum thinks that we (me and kids) might be fine so would be a shame to just sit at home if that’s the case. But I know I’ll be so anxious the entire drive and will practically have psychosomatic symptoms. The baby doesn’t like the car as it is so 3 hours was always going to be stressful for me.

I’ve had various attempts at therapy over the last twenty years , often resulting in me running out of funds and having to ‘give up’ as such. It’s so expensive ! Have had therapy on NHS before but as many of you will know that’s usually six sessions and six sessions will not rid me of this very deep rooted phobia :(

OP posts:
Original poster
clinellwipe · 21/12/2025 20:42

I have horrible images of me needing sudden urgent diarrhoea on the A14 whilst parenting a Sen child and baby 🫣

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 21/12/2025 20:42

Tammygirl12 · 21/12/2025 20:05

How do you know you will definitely get it? He might have eaten something dodgy

Food poisoning is often still contagious though.

OP - If you or the children are going to catch it, one of you will probably show symptoms by Tuesday morning. But if you wanted to be more comfortable could you leave Wednesday?

Original poster
clinellwipe · 21/12/2025 20:52

I don’t know how to do a reply, but yes leaving Wednesday sounds like a better option . My son absolutely adores his grandparents , would be such a shame not to see them on Christmas Day or at least a fake Christmas Day some other time this week

OP posts:
NeverBeAPart · 21/12/2025 20:55

Honestly in your shoes I’d just cancel (or postpone by a week if you can). The journey will be stressful with the worry in the back of your mind, and the whole thing just sounds like it won’t be enjoyable. Could you plan to do Christmas at home - DH should be a bit better by then, and at least if anyone else comes down with it you’ll have him there to help.

stichguru · 21/12/2025 21:02

Could you go on 27th or 28th? Hopefully everyone might have been clear for some days by then?

Flibbertyfloo · 21/12/2025 21:05

I would try to find a way to go assuming you're feeling okay. Would your parents come and meet you half way and then one of them come in the car after that so you only have 1.5 hours solo?

Or could you get the train? Toilets on hand and may be less stressful with the baby.

This may gross you out more, but in a similar situation I travelled in incontinence pants. I didn't turn out to need them, but it was very reassuring to have them.

once1caughtafishalive · 21/12/2025 21:22

To give you some comfort - as an adult when you get diarrhea you definitely get about 15 mins warning so you'd have plenty of time to find somewhere!!

My 3 kids have just come through a vomiting and diarrhea bug a week ago and myself and my husband didnt get anything. Despite me accidentally forgetting myself and kissing my son on the side of his mouth after he'd just been sick

PassTheLemonDrizzle · 21/12/2025 21:46

I’m so sorry OP, this is a really tough one.

Norovirus hit our household recently. My younger SEN child started vomiting on Sunday night and I was up with her all night. My DH and older daughter started vomiting five days later, and I stayed up with my older daughter all night as well, giving emotional support and emptying the sick bucket. It was very clearly the same bug: extremely intense vomiting for about six hours and then fine.

I felt unwell myself a few days after my youngest first got sick but I went to bed very early and didn’t eat. I think I probably caught it but managed to fight it off. We missed my mum’s birthday celebration because I didn’t want to risk passing anything on.

I think this is a case of reframing it. Being ill is unfortunate, but it happens, and that’s okay. You can always catch up later. Christmas is just a day, and it’s absolutely fine to postpone an event if there’s a risk of making vulnerable family members ill.

TiredofLDN · 21/12/2025 21:49

Could one of your parents drive and meet you half way, and drive back in convoy? At least then you know there’s another adult “nearby” if you did come down with it?

I do think as an adult though, you know if you’re coming down with a bug like that. It doesn’t strike out of nowhere (that tends to be food poisoning IME!)

Icouldwriteabookonmydisastrouslife · 21/12/2025 21:50

My mum and my best friend have both had a24 hour sickness bug last week out of nowhere and they was both fine the next day . My Mum had to cancel her Xmas dinner at the centre she goes and she said she felt dreadful and my friend was at work and dragged herself thru her shift and slept the rest of the day and was right as rain the next morning .

MoonlightMemories · 21/12/2025 21:50

once1caughtafishalive · 21/12/2025 21:22

To give you some comfort - as an adult when you get diarrhea you definitely get about 15 mins warning so you'd have plenty of time to find somewhere!!

My 3 kids have just come through a vomiting and diarrhea bug a week ago and myself and my husband didnt get anything. Despite me accidentally forgetting myself and kissing my son on the side of his mouth after he'd just been sick

I've had stomach bugs where I definitely haven't had 5 minutes warning, let alone 15 that I was going to suddenly start having diarrhea/vomitting!

2chocolateoranges · 21/12/2025 21:56

I postponed Christmas Day last year as our eldest had a vomiting bug, I didn’t want to chance giving it to anyone else , so we all stayed home until the 28th, when he had been 48hrs clear of being sick. No one else in the house got it but I wasn’t taking risks with anyone outside our house.

Original poster
clinellwipe · 21/12/2025 22:02

Thank you all. And thank you lemondrizzle.

I posted several times in January/February about my son who was vomiting for 7 weeks (!!!!!) which turned out to be bowel obstruction after many GP visits and 3 A&E trips. Trying to rationalise that if I can do 7 weeks then I can do whatever this week will be.

OP posts: