To admit I’m jealous but ask for ways how not to be

[Becks245]

Ok So the crux of my post is about the fact my sister in law has recently had a tummy tuck + lipo and I have been having uncomfortable feelings of jealousy which I do not like. I’m not normally the jealous type, I stay in my own lane, I’m happy in general with who I am and what I’ve got so feeling this way has thrown me. But there is a bit of back story so I’ll explain.

I have always struggled with my weight and so has my sister in law. I however got my shit together around 18 months ago following a health scare and in that time I have lost around 7st. That plus having three dc by c_section means my large apron of skin has shrunk a lot but is still there and now that I’m a healthy weight and slim everywhere else on my body my stomach apron is more pronounced and I can’t help but worry about how ugly it looks. I’ve always hated it but not to the point where it’s affected my life eg mental health in any great way. I cracked ok with losing the weight slowly and working hard in the gym which helped my mental health massively and I was generally happy with where I’d got to and was in no way considering cosmetic surgery. But now after seeing my SiL’s “after pictures” I suddenly feel bad about myself again and rather envious.

I even had quite negative (and rather mean) thoughts telling myself she has done it the easy way, she has no intention of changing her lifestyle eg cutting out the bad food, cutting down on alcohol, smoking etc, she just plans on buying her looks instead of doing what I did and actually working hard to make positive lifestyle changes.

The good thing is I recognise I am being unreasonable and I want to change my mindset eg not have these negative thoughts and feelings of jealousy. But how do I do that? Plus she’s the competitive type and shoves every achievement in your face where as I’m the modest type and don’t over share. So I just know all I hear about all Christmas is her tunmy
tuck and she’s already banging on about how great she’ll look in summer clothes next year. I’m happy for her in that she’s happy but i‘m also jealous and hate the fact she’s “cheated” even though rationally I know it’s not cheating. Help me come back down to earth and move on from this?

Did you not post this before but thay time it was your sister? And you weren’t jealous it was she was smug?

Not me. I have only have brothers.

Yeah, it’s written the same way, everything is the same , even the feelings, the only difference is sister v sister in law.

OP, you've done the far harder and far healthier thing. You've lost the weight through dietary changes and exercise and while your SIL has 'cheated' her way to being slimmer, you are the one who is WAY healthier. If she's just had lipo and a tummy tuck, but is still eating crap and drinking like a fish, that weight isn't going to stay off. So this Christmas I'd just take a deep breath, but inside you should be happy with what you've done and the way you've done it, because you are the one who is far more likely to keep the weight off. Having surgery doesn't mean you can't gain weight again - your SIL will pile the weight back on again now, so I'd just sit back and watch, if I were you. She may be feeling superior now, but she's the hare, you're the tortoise 😁

Ok. I don’t really know what else I can say to that.

Thank you. It’s been a hard slog but I’m so much healthier and fitter now. I just wish I hadn’t let myself get that big and essentially wreck my body (cosmetically) but mental health wise I was in a bad place for years and looking after myself just wasn’t a priority.

Ive defo read this before.

Look op you have to get on with you,and your life.
If you want what your sil has, then save pay and have it done.

I don’t want it done though. That’s why I struggling to understand why I’m feeling jealous. I don’t like my stomach and wish it could be different but I’m not willing to put myself through risky unnecessary surgery.

You can’t actually have lipo to loose huge amounts of weight, like 7 stone - so she must have lost some too?

She hasn’t lost 7st that was me. She was around 12 and a half ish and had it done abroad were they allowed her to have the tummy tuck as long as she agreed to have lipo as well as it was needed apparently.

You should feel proud you haven't risked your life for unnecessary surgery...