In laws Christmas gifts?!

Glitterballofdreams · 2025-12-21T09:57:28+00:00

Help! My FIL re married and she wants nothing to do with his family. It’s all very awkward. We used to send shared gifts like wine and chocolate hampers etc but FIL is now diabetic and asked us not to buy that sort of thing for them. what can we buy instead?

Minjou · 21/12/2025 09:58

Nothing? His wife wants nothing to do with you, why send presents?

thepariscrimefiles · 21/12/2025 09:59

Nothing? It's unlikely that anything you choose will be gratefully received and if he is allowing his new wife to ruin his relationship with his son, he probably doesn't deserve anything.

Catza · 21/12/2025 10:01

Nothing, I guess. She doesn't want to be part of the family and you could take your FIL for lunch as a treat in January if you still wanted to do something for him.

Original poster

Glitterballofdreams · 21/12/2025 10:03

Thank you, I already thought we should give nothing. It’s so very awkward!

OP posts:

Ponoka7 · 21/12/2025 10:04

You send him a individual gift, aftershave, socks/underwear, vouchers for somewhere. Or take him out. I don't do adult Christmas presents and my DP's family still did until they got the message that they wouldn't be reciprocated. It isn't awkward at all.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 21/12/2025 10:07

I had this with my former FIL who remarried after being widowed. His new wife brought our presents back to our house after Christmas (we had dropped them with his dad while she was at work, we weren't invited for Christmas and they turned down invite to ours) and told us they weren't necessary.
FiL just let it happen and, looking back, I think she love bombed etc and he was under her control before he knew what was happening.
We bought for the local children's charity after that, and donated to the hospice that his mum had been in.
It's a horrible situation and I really feel for you and your husband.

Original poster

Glitterballofdreams · 21/12/2025 18:34

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 21/12/2025 10:07

I had this with my former FIL who remarried after being widowed. His new wife brought our presents back to our house after Christmas (we had dropped them with his dad while she was at work, we weren't invited for Christmas and they turned down invite to ours) and told us they weren't necessary.
FiL just let it happen and, looking back, I think she love bombed etc and he was under her control before he knew what was happening.
We bought for the local children's charity after that, and donated to the hospice that his mum had been in.
It's a horrible situation and I really feel for you and your husband.

That’s a good idea, thank you x

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TheatricalLife · 21/12/2025 18:47

I agree with nothing as well, or some kind of charity donation.
My FIL did exactly the same thing and cut off his beloved adult son and newborn grandchild for a really awful women he met online and married within months (without any of his family present).
Unfortunately for FIL, his marriage was pretty short lived and she dumped him when he was unwell and had run out of money. He was quick to try and push his way back in to our lives like nothing had happened (with no apology). He'd burned his bridges with DH and other family members and he ended up dying pretty much alone. You reap what you sow.

sprigatito · 21/12/2025 18:49

Isn’t this your DH’s responsibility? It’s his father. I wouldn’t take it on.