So DS started Reception in September. DS is kind and friendly, but a little different. He has been on the autism/adhd pathway since nursery as he has sensory issues, doesn't make consistent eye contact, sometimes stims ...etc.
Despite all this, he has always made (and kept) friends easily. He started reception reading, writing, and able to do maths (thank you nursery!), so I wasn't expecting there to be any issues.
However, despite absolutely loving nursery, he hates school. Most of his class all came from the same day nursery, whereas he started knowing nobody. Within a month of starting one of the children was telling him that his very obvious facial birthmark was "dirty" and was telling the other children not to play with him because of his "dirty skin". The Reception teacher brought the child's parents into school and put a stop to this behaviour as soon as they were aware.
The staff at school seem delightful, and happy to put in place adjustments to help DS settle. Lots of the kids in older years know DS by name and are nice to him. He seems to have some friends in his year who he plays with on and off, and when they have come over for playdates, he has enjoyed playing with them.
However, DS has lost all his confidence. He is like a completely different, and much more anxious, child. He seems convinced that nobody likes him and, even out of school, has stopped approaching other children to make friends, something he had always previously enjoyed doing. DS tells me every morning that he doesn't want to go to school, and has asked me more than once if he can move school. His behaviour at school has deteriorated, going from being really good, to him being really fidgety, unfocused, and very emotional, crying at the slightest things, with this behaviour spilling over into weekends and evenings.
There is another school locally that has a Reception place. It is undersubscribed as it has lesser SATs results, and a mediocre Ofsted, but has a reputation for being great with SEN, and being a particularly nurturing school. DS's best friend (who has no special needs) goes there and loves it.
Aibu to move DS there? His current school are bending over backwards to make him feel welcome, and are very oversubscribed, so if we move him, there's no going back. Objectively, the school DS is at is a brilliant school on pretty much every measure, but, 3 months in, he still seems very unhappy.
YABU- move him
YANBU- keep him where he is