AIBU to withdraw DD from swimming?

[NotGoingSoSwimmingly]

DD5 has been going to swimming lessons for almost a year.

At first she made great progress and has gone from not getting in the water unless attached to an adult to jumping in, swimming about without a float and diving to the bottom to pick things up.

However, every time she goes on her back, her head sinks and she stands up. Because of this, she's been at 98% of stage one for 3 months. All her friends she started with have moved onto stage 2.

I'm thinking as she's made no official progress in 3 months I should take her out and just go swimming with her as often as possible? She enjoys the lessons but it's just as happy to go with us, and paying for lessons is so expensive.

Thanks all. We can't really take her every week AND go to lessons as we have a busy schedule and it's already on a weekend. She needs one weekend day where we're not rushing out anywhere. She's not really that bothered either way so I think we'll take a break for a few weeks/months and revisit it in Year 2. We can do lots of swimming in the summer holidays.

The most important thing was removing her fear of being in the water and we've achieved that.

We had similar with our eldest. They were stuck at stage 2 for quite awhile as well and then stuck on stage 3 for even longer! Both times very soon after we moved her to a different teacher she had moved up within a few lessons! I think she had some poor teachers at various points tbh (but also some really excellent ones at others, the turnover at her swim school is pretty high). So I would look to move your child to a different class basically and see if that helps.

I’d keep her in lessons but speak to the instructor about what you can do to address this issue- then take her “fun”
swimming and work on that one part with her.

Taking her out of lessons is only going to result in her falling more behind.

Take her out for 6 months then try with a new teacher. Both my DC found learning to swim hard, but got it quickly aged 7. DD went on to swim competitively so a slow start did her no harm.

I never bothered with those lessons when they were small because the time commitment was several years to get a good stroke going.
Age 8 we did private lessons for 8 months and she picked it up so quickly and was an excellent confident swimmer able to a couple of lengths.

Look around for different classes. I found a more "old school" swimming teacher that gives certificates for distance not the swim England stages. I had a child who would not put his face in the water and we were stuck for years. Her solution was to get him to feel really confident in both back stroke and the best you can do with breaststroke with your head sticking out. It worked. He got his 50m badge before he put his face in. Now dives in, proper front call, can do 400m. Loves swimming now. She teaches in a school pool she rents out not a leisure centre or private gym, she's always full and it's a bit word of mouth.

I’m 50:50 on this. My dd got stuck on stage 1 for ages too - but thereafter she got through the stages swiftly.

with ds we took him swimming from an early age and he had got on rapidly but mainly I think because he swims with me every weekend so I can help him practice the things he’s struggling with. So instead of a 30 min lesson with 8 other kids, he has an extra hour in the pool every weekend. That seems to have made a huge difference.

We ended up going with 1-1 lessons for dd totally ignoring the stages as she couldn’t progress due to refusing to do an underwater rollypolly. Dd is now 18 and still hates water on her face, but she can swim as that’s what I asked the teacher you focus on rather than ticking boxes.

My ds just won’t / can’t do this. I think he struggles because he hates water in his ears. He is still in lessons but I fully expect him to be at level one forever. Sigh.

Yes, but she can’t do the main life saving skill of floating on her back. If you take her out now, you wont end up taking her every week if you’re going to wait until the summer holidays. So all the money you’ve paid for lessons will be wasted.

I’d agree with this. My eldest went to group lessons for a year and made very slow progress. My youngest had 1:1 and nailed it all in 3 months. Cost per lesson was higher for youngest obviously but we spent less overall

I'm not going to wait and we'll go most weeks between now and summer, but we can go multiple times a week in summer. She can tread water fine and swim well on her front, but swimming is for fun. I've never really understood why it's seen as "life-saving." I can swim fine but I've never once needed to swim to save myself.

Update- I contacted the leisure centre to say that we would be taking a break as she can't seem to crack the last 2% and there's been apparently no progress, and the "Aquatics Manager" has requested that we bring her in on Friday so he can observe her swimming and decide if she can progress to Stage 2. At the moment, we go and watch her do exactly the same thing week after week, it's like Groundhog Day.

We are in the same situation! DS7 has been stuck at level 2 for 13 months, with incredible little increase in % every lesson. Thing is we don’t see any big issues with his swimming. He progressed super fast until that level and he’s super confident in the water. He could totally be challenged to swim longer distances, as he does it outside lessons. He seems to perform all the exercises they ask him to do, and with good technique.
About 9 months ago the instructor said to get ready to move to the next stage next time, for which he got super excited. But that didn’t happen and we inquired twice, just to be told he’s not ready for the deep side of the pool (which we are not in agreement as we take him regularly there, in exactly the same pool). I am getting very frustrated and trying to keep it cool with DS, but he’s losing interest and asked to stop many times now.
I think we will give it another chance but if no progress by next half term we will change provider.

Very strange conclusion to have reached, she has progressed at seemingly slower rate than others so to withdraw her? When actually she needs the opposite. Lessons plus going with you another time once a week would be more appropriate and is quite possibly why some others may have moved on a bit quicker.

At 5 years old and in stage 1 she needs to stay in the lessons and consistently build on it.

Is it water going her ears that she doesn’t like the feeling when her head goes back? Ear bands or earplugs can help. My dd got stuck and this was the issue she then completed all levels in 2years joining the competitive club. Sometimes they hold them back if no space in the next level up or if they don’t appear to follow instructions & need to be safe to go up.

If she was making steady, slow progress, I'd be OK with that. But she isn't.

She was moving steadily through the skills until she got to 98% sometime in October and nothing has happened since.

Every week, she does the exact same thing over and over. Every now and then, they tell her to swim on her back, her head sinks, she stands up, they move onto the next thing.

There seems to be nothing happening to tell her how to stop her head sinking or to practice that skill. 3/4 lessons they don't even attempt it.

In Stage 2 they are learning to do other things which she's not even tried because most lessons she just spends going backwards and forwards doing things she's been able to do since summer.

They said really early on that she was very good at following instructions, being safe around the pool and entering and exiting the water safely. Those were the first 3 skills she passed. I do wonder if they are just keeping her in Stage 1 thinking we'll just keep paying for lessons indefinitely. Either way, she's not learned anything new in months.

Hopefully this person we are seeing on Friday will either move her up or give her some guidance on what we should do.

Do you take her swimming too?

Can you help her to float on her back? I know you pay for swimming lessons, but extra practise might help her.

Because people who can't swim drown if they fall into water or get swept into deeper water or generally get into difficulty. Water can be fun but it's inherently dangerous. That's why non-swimmers are over represented in drowning deaths.

Floating on your back is the RNLI advice if you get into difficulty in water - if you start treading water that uses up energy and is also difficult if you're in shock or panicking or injured. I would be more interested in her being taught how to do this than getting her pushed up a class without mastering it. https://rnli.org/safety/float

I struggle to understand your logic that because you've been lucky enough never to need to be rescued that your daughter doesn't need water safety skills. Never mind that the fact that you can swim and float proficiently will have reduced some of your risk in the first place. Would you also say that because you've never been hit by a car that your daughter doesn't need to be skilled in road safety when she crosses the road?

I think you need to get over the idea that kids ever make steady slow progress. My experience of everything is you plateau for a bit then come on keeps and bounds in no time.

Even she’s not seemingly progressing in floating in her back she’ll be getting better at the other skills that will help her. Or at a minimum water confidence and coordination in water that will set her in good stead for other swim skills.

swimming isn’t cracked over a few months. It takes years. get rid of that mentality cos you need to be in it for the long haul.

Sorry, but thinking they're keeping her in to keep you paying for lessons is ridiculous. They'd fill this space in no time. She is either slower to pick up that skill or needs a different approach/more support. Cancelling her lessons won't achieve anything. You're very blasé, OP, just because you didn't have to save yourself doesn't mean she will never need such skill. You are very shortsighted, frankly.

My DD was similar, she sped through stage 2 once she finally got the hang of it.

I cross roads every day. I have never once needed to swim across a body of water to get anywhere and nor would I.

But as the poster above said it's about being able to swim across a body of water but having the life-saving skills to help if she were to fall into water or get into trouble around water.

Swimming is a life skill which is perfected over years not a few months and you are doing your child a disservice not to ensure she is a competent swimmer and is able to swim a decent distance (100m+) in all 4 strokes plus able to do life saving skills such as floating on her back, treading water and swimming a distance fully clothed