Are people nicer to you since you lost weight? Or meaner since you gained weight?

[Trionly]

Just that really - and if they are how does that make you feel?

A few times in my life I’ve been from between a size 10-20. Thanks to pregnancies, hormone issues and yo-yo diets!

Currently at the thinner end of the spectrum and definitely people at work are more polite, helpful and friendly.

Am I imagining this? Or is it maybe because I feel less self conscious?

Or is it as simple as “more attractive = I’ll be nicer to you”

What do you think?

I actually find the opposite (granted, I've never been anywhere near a 20) When I am a size 10 people are very nice and helpful, when a 6-8 I'm a bit more invisible. It's not so much that people are rude, just more oblivious. It doesn't bother me either way.

Are you underweight at 6-8 though?

I think people are nicer to other people when they’re a normal BMI. Pretty sure there’s studies proving it.

Ultimately we’re animals and all animals notice if another of their species is ‘off.’

Being noticeably under or overweight sets off our senses, however enlightened you might think we are as a species.

When I was overweight, I found people to be rude and dismissive. Now I’m a healthy weight and physically fit, they seem to want to talk to me and be helpful. It could be my appearance, but also I think I’m more confident. I think humans are very sensitive to body language and treat people differently without even realising. You see it with animals too. If a dog is nervous for example, they pick up on it and see it as a weakness.

I have found people much nicer when at a healthier weight. Whether that’s because I am happy and see things differently though or people actually act different I am unsure.

A bit, yes. I'm five eight so it is quite skinny on me. I prefer being an 8-10.

I have been obese since primary school, regularly throughout my life people have been vile to me because of my weight, literal strangers driving past as I walked down the street have shouted insults at me, or wound their windows down while I’m sat at traffic lights to tell me I’m fat and ugly, I was bullied relentlessly through secondary school, have had colleagues ignore me, talk over me, tell me ‘you actually look ok when you wear makeup’ it goes on and on.

In the last year due to a diabetes diagnosis and Mounjaro I have lost it all and am a healthy BMI. People are definitely nicer, no one has insulted me, strangers smile at me. It’s a whole new world.

I think a lot of it is confidence. I was a size 10 most of my life, not through trying, just naturally. But I also had quite low self esteem over my looks and I do think people picked up on that. Then I hit peri (plus a few other factors) and went up to a 16. But I now don’t give a shit and am probably more confident than I was before, and people are nice to me. Probably nicer than when I was size 10.

Not rude but just invisible when bigger (the irony).

That's my experience too. I've gone from a size 22/24 to a 12 in the last 18 months. The difference in the way I'm treated is night and day. I feel respected in a way I never did before. I'm 100% the same person though. It's a lot to deal with really. I feel almost traumatised when I look back at how my weight has affected/blighted my life and how cruel society is to overweight and obese people.

I’ll notice this too if I go out hair done make up on smart ish clothes
peopel are nice, smile open doors and friendly etc

but say the next day go out but bit scruffy
clothes. Say maybe old jeans and an old bobbled jumper
hair not done
no make up

people let doors slam in your face

I find it quite fascinating really as I’m exactly the same person
as the day before

halo effect of being a good looking person when the effort is made
yet scruffy when the hairs not really done etc …

indo think we should be able to treat. Peopel the same regardless of how they look, or what size there are esp as so many have health issues. So they can’t help what they way

but I’ve realised humans, well most are going to judge you massively over how you look

so in a weird way, you might as well play the game too
And use it to your advantage
but it also feels like a waste of time

I agree with the above poster, not rude but overlooked and often invisible. And the momentary body scan up before glancing away. I once described it to another yo-yo dieter - it's almost as if they are afraid they will catch 'being fat'. Of course it's not everyone but it is a thing.

I was having this conversation with a friend who’s also on WLIs and we were saying the psychological effects of obesity are harder to get past than the physical changes. My whole personality and approach to life was shaped by how others treated me for my weight.

i had to be resilient, thick skinned to keep going. I had to seem more intelligent than others to be listened to, I became ‘the funny one’, I adopted a bolshier persona so people wouldnt see how hurt I was. It was exhausting and trying to step it back now and just relax has been harder than I ever expected. Also weird is when you pick up a pair of trousers in a shop, hold them up and think ‘Jesus these are sized for a toddler’ and then try them on and they fit. That is discombobulating!

I think women in particular are ruder to me when I’m slim. I don’t think I imagine this, I think I become a perceived but misplaced threat because, without sounding obscenely arrogant, my face isn’t ugly so when I’m also slim I look pretty. When I’m a bit chubbier they’re softer with me and don’t treat me like I’m going to be a bitch. It’s like there’s an assumption I’m a massive bitch when I’m slimmer.