paying for freinds

Kfor · 2025-12-19T22:02:00+00:00

My DD went to the cinema with a group of friends (13, 14 year olds). I bought all the tickets as they wanted to sit next each other and an adult had to do an online booking, and the other kids parents paid later on. We usually do that way and it has worked. However one extra child randomly joined them after school today, and asked my DD to pay for her ticket, which my DD did. It is not about the money but I am not really sure how to approach these kind of situations. Let DD decide to invite someone or not ( although technically it was "my" money she used without asking). I don't know anything about that child or how the kid went home etc.

MagicStarrz · 19/12/2025 22:04

You need to make it clear to your child they can't spend your money without checking with you (if that's what they've done) and also does your child realise the parents usually pay you back?

Your OP is not clear.

Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 22:09

MagicStarrz · 19/12/2025 22:04

You need to make it clear to your child they can't spend your money without checking with you (if that's what they've done) and also does your child realise the parents usually pay you back?

Your OP is not clear.

Yes that child knew about the price, apparently yesterday the parents said that was not allowed to come. I was told about it now. Yes I did explained to my DD to always ask first, but I am wondering maybe she should be using her own money if inviting someone, so feels more in control of decisions like that. I am also feeling I should check on that kid...but tricky in this age, when u dont know the parents.

OP posts:

LadyTable · 19/12/2025 22:12

You should make your daughter pay you back.

Then if she wants her friend to pay her back later, she can sort that herself.

Mydadsbirthday · 19/12/2025 22:13

LadyTable · 19/12/2025 22:12

You should make your daughter pay you back.

Then if she wants her friend to pay her back later, she can sort that herself.

A 13/14 yo is not going to be able to navigate this.

I would be getting the parents number and asking them to pay.

Mossstitch · 19/12/2025 22:17

Do you think the parents said she couldn't go because they couldn't afford to,pay🤔if that might be the case I'd just let your DD pay and forget it😪

Fends · 19/12/2025 22:19

How did your daughter pay using your card if the kid was a random add on after the booking?

LiteraryBambi · 19/12/2025 22:20

Mydadsbirthday · 19/12/2025 22:13

A 13/14 yo is not going to be able to navigate this.

I would be getting the parents number and asking them to pay.

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Of course a 13/14 yo can navigate this. Why wouldn't they be able to say to their friend "you owe me £xx, can I have it by next week?"

Also how much was the ticket? I know it's the principle that matters here but if it is less than a tenner, I'd probably let it go as it's Xmas (as long as you can afford to do that).

Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 22:31

Fends · 19/12/2025 22:19

How did your daughter pay using your card if the kid was a random add on after the booking?

They went to the cinema, one kid brought back the money in cash, so she used it to buy one more ticket at the cinema.

OP posts:

Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 22:33

Mossstitch · 19/12/2025 22:17

Do you think the parents said she couldn't go because they couldn't afford to,pay🤔if that might be the case I'd just let your DD pay and forget it😪

Yes I was wondering as well, but I don't know anything about that child, probably will just let it go. I just hope the parent know the child went with them

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Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 22:36

LadyTable · 19/12/2025 22:12

You should make your daughter pay you back.

Then if she wants her friend to pay her back later, she can sort that herself.

I think going forward this will be the way, it is hard to navigate otherwise, and she want to feel in charge

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Christmaseree · 19/12/2025 22:36

If it’s not about the money then just leave it.

LadyTable · 19/12/2025 22:36

Mydadsbirthday · 19/12/2025 22:13

A 13/14 yo is not going to be able to navigate this.

I would be getting the parents number and asking them to pay.

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Huh?

Can you say why a 13/14 year old isn't going to be able to 'navigate this'?

"There's your money back mum".

"Chloe, don't forget you owe me cinema money, one minute I'll send you my bank details".

What is there to 'navigate'?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/12/2025 22:36

Personally I would let it go this time, and scope out a little about this child. If your daughter knows them well, why had they initially not been allowed to go etc. Then tell her that next time she needs to check with you first, and say that while it is really hard to say no to a friend sometimes, it is a little unusual for someone to ask to have their ticket paid for.

Lmnop22 · 19/12/2025 22:42

LiteraryBambi · 19/12/2025 22:20

Of course a 13/14 yo can navigate this. Why wouldn't they be able to say to their friend "you owe me £xx, can I have it by next week?"

Also how much was the ticket? I know it's the principle that matters here but if it is less than a tenner, I'd probably let it go as it's Xmas (as long as you can afford to do that).

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Because unless it’s a pre arranged loan agreement it would be unreasonable after a “gift” has been given to demand it back and it could marr their relationship!

OP let this one go but tell DD not to do this again

DedododoDedadada · 19/12/2025 22:47

I would start with getting the full story. Who is the extra child, was it your daughter that invited her, why did her mum say no, is it lack of money or other reasons. I would probably let it go as a one of but suggest other ways your daughter could approach the situation in the future.

RecordBreakers · 19/12/2025 22:51

Mydadsbirthday · 19/12/2025 22:13

A 13/14 yo is not going to be able to navigate this.

I would be getting the parents number and asking them to pay.

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Eh?
Did you miss the bit where OP said they were 13/ 14, and not 6 ?

Of course they can sort this out.
This is a learning situation for the OP's dd.

She needs to learn to either a) make a decision to pay for her friend if she wants to and can afford it, OR, learn you don't pay for things for people unless they are people you know they will pay you the money back.

It's pretty unusual to get phone numbers of friends' parents in the teen years, unless you had them from Primary age already.

Fends · 19/12/2025 23:00

How much was it? Our local cinema is £4.99. I think I’d let it go and tell her next time to just get the kid to buy a ticket instead of acting the organiser

Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 23:25

RecordBreakers · 19/12/2025 22:51

Eh?
Did you miss the bit where OP said they were 13/ 14, and not 6 ?

Of course they can sort this out.
This is a learning situation for the OP's dd.

She needs to learn to either a) make a decision to pay for her friend if she wants to and can afford it, OR, learn you don't pay for things for people unless they are people you know they will pay you the money back.

It's pretty unusual to get phone numbers of friends' parents in the teen years, unless you had them from Primary age already.

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yes agree, in a way a good learning situation!

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Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 23:27

DedododoDedadada · 19/12/2025 22:47

I would start with getting the full story. Who is the extra child, was it your daughter that invited her, why did her mum say no, is it lack of money or other reasons. I would probably let it go as a one of but suggest other ways your daughter could approach the situation in the future.

Yes, you are right, I think I need to hear it properly tomorrow.

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Original poster

Kfor · 19/12/2025 23:29

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/12/2025 22:36

Personally I would let it go this time, and scope out a little about this child. If your daughter knows them well, why had they initially not been allowed to go etc. Then tell her that next time she needs to check with you first, and say that while it is really hard to say no to a friend sometimes, it is a little unusual for someone to ask to have their ticket paid for.

yes, good idea, will try to see the whole picture and also talk about options in the future

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