To think that bullies control the narrative?

[LuciaLydia]

I’ve found this with bulky types of all generations - especially if they feel their bullying isn’t quite ‘successful’ enough - they try and control the narrative about their ‘victim?’

I’ve been naive about social relationships so it took me a long time to understand this

Yanbu this is life x

Yes, sadly they walk among us... X

Thanks for responding - sorry for the typos - obviously meant bully not bulky!

yes I’ve found this phenomenon with my peers abd my parents generation

I’m so sorry, but I don’t understand what you mean. Could you give examples?

I am not saying that you are wrong: I just don’t understand your point

Hi sorry for late reply.

so here are some examples :

my mum had always been a bully who was obsessed with academic performance. I dropped out of school before A levels and I’d learned that she’d been telling everyone how ‘shy’ I was. In that, she couldn’t control the fact that I’d left school and started working so she tried to control the narrative around me eg “she’s left school but this is a good thing because she’s shy” - to try and undermine me.

Other example is I’d worked in a place from 2005-2008. In 2007 my colleague went on maternity leave and an unpopular boss also left for another job. When my colleague came back from maternity leave she said that my old boss used to bully me, but that the old boss would’ve have bullied her or Kevin because if she’d tried “she wouldn’t get away with it.”

There was absolutely no point in her saying this because this was 2008 and the unpopular boss had left a year previously - unpopular boss wasn’t a ‘threat’ to her or anyone in the company any more so the only reason she brought this up is to make me feel bad about myself when I told a counsellor what had happened - counsellor said this was an example of her “controlling the narrative”

They are controlling people. Their controlling nature makes them bully others.

I think there are bullies who are about Control and more about feeling bigger than others. Maybe that's a form of control too but it's expressed differently

Kindly, these things happened a
long time ago. I would just let them go.