To be finding this mind numbing…

[Minnierose11]

I want to start by saying, my DD was/is very wanted, planned for and very loved, I adore her.

Shes 1, recently. And I am still on mat leave, return back to work part time (3days) in February.

But I’ve found the whole experience so far of motherhood, mind numbing. I have moments of pure joy, milestones, firsts etc. But otherwise, I just find the whole experience of it very very mundane and boring..

Shes walking now, has been since 11 months, albeit still abit clumsy. Shes not talking bar mama and dada.
Does it get better?

I feel abit ashamed saying this. Like I’m complaining about something I want and tried for, but it hasn’t been the experience I think I was expecting.

I’ve also posted on the parenting thread but it’s pretty quiet - zero response.

I was both enchanted by and bored by my DD at the same time when she was really small.

I adored her and wanted to scoop her up and kiss her all the time, but I also found playing with her excruciatingly dull.

Because I worked FT I felt really guilty about being away from her so I would force myself to spend an hour and a half after nursery playing with her and it was bone-crushingly dull. But also sort of magical at the same time.

But it's very normal.