To buy a house on same street as ex’s new partner?

[madhousemove]

Split from my ex earlier this year, sold our house together and we (my child and me) are back with my parents.
I’ve fallen in love with a house, put in an offer and had it accepted.
found out since then that my ex’s new partner (6 months ish) and her children live about 4 doors down.
I need to withdraw, don’t I?

Assuming his new relationship firms up, it could be very convenient.

Err no! It's not as if youre sharing a divided wall!
He could finish with her next bloody week or she might be planning to move next year.
Its your life, do as you please. Most people dont even speak to their next door neighbours nowadays let alone, 4 doors down!

If your ex moves in with her then it will be easier for your children to see their father.

Buy the house if you love it.

Chances are they will break up.

Absolutely do not need to pull. Theoretically how often do you actually see your neighbours from 4 doors down?
I don’t think I have seen mine for months lol!

As long as they don't bother you in anyway and she's not the type to cause you trouble if they too separate, but then that's something you'll only find out once it happens.

No you can live wherever you like

If your still communicating id have a chat with ex and say you have found a house you love but you have been made aware he is dating a lady in same street. Tell him you dont want it to be weird so your letting him know

If it’s your dream house don’t give it up bcos your x has a new love interest a few doors down which may or may not last.

Given you get on well with your ex-partner why don’t you talk to him about it and see what his new partner thinks as well.

Would it still be a dream house if things end up becoming very weird or there is animosity between you all? How would you feel if he moved in and you saw her being in the mother role to your children, whilst you were excluded?

Either the relationship lasts and it’ll be convenient or it won’t last and it won’t be an issue.

So many variables. I mean if it was right next door I would say no, but I've lived in my place for nearly 20 years and I know neighbours but not 4 doors down. If the ex and get her are nasty, then yeah I would have a clean break. But if not, why should you give up on a home you really like?

Absolutely still buy it, OP!
I am loving the idea that they could break up and then you and new ex-gf would become pals 😊

I don’t know, I don’t think I’d go for this. Reading some stories on here about issues between ex partners and their new partners etc i wouldn’t fancy dealing with these potential issues and living a few doors away. It’s all well and good if you all get along in the future but if there are issues, custody problems, jealousy, overstepping etc then this could become a huge issue. Of course this may not be the case but it very often is and with kids involved I wouldn’t take a chance.

Why?

it’s just a person he is dating. If they break up, she will just be a random person who lives down the street. If they happen to go the distance and end up together forever, how lucky would your children be to have their parents living just a short walk away.

I would think very seriously if you want to be neighbours with your ex. That’s the main consideration.

Ex-SIL ended up buying the house behind BIL and his new partner. It was a challenging and painful split (no children, but dragged out for 3 years because of an acrimonious house sale). BIL bought a new house. Then a year later, his ex bought the house directly behind and above his, so ex-SIL overlooks his garden now from every window in her house. They live in a very rural area. It’s a hamlet with like 5 houses and now they are neighbours. It’s weird. 😳

My partner had to grow up living near his father and the girlfriend he left his mum for and watch them raise her kids. He doesn’t see his father anymore and hasn’t for over 20 years.

I think from your child’s perspective seeing their dad with someone else and her kids could be quite difficult .

I’d pull out.

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this incase of problems down the line, there’s a lot of variables to consider.

Depends what kind of house. Detached with space and greeny inbetween - no problem, terrace house - withdraw.
It is extreme to do it maliciously (to move so close) but if I was the woman & your ex H, I would be uncomfortable and feel it’s very in your face. Like you could check if his car is there and vice versa they could do the same to you.

Would it upset you to see him coming & going from hers?
Would it upset you that he's 4 doors down if he's shit at seeing the kids?
Would he get jealous or weird when he starts seeing a new partner coming & going from your home?
If none of those are an issue, go right ahead with the purchase.

It's never a positive living close to an ex and being on the same road means catchment for same schools, same local, same doctors. It's just too close. I know you get on with your ex now, but will that change if you're on the same street. Will they make assumptions about your move and start being shitty. It's not worth the potential negatives.

Girl you're going to look weird and stalkerish

Nah! 4 doors round me may as well be another postcode. As a street we just don’t really engage. Couldn’t even tell you who was there tbh.

ultimately if you’re civil and if their relationship progresses, and they move in, she may sell up anyway.

It’s no big deal and who knows if they’ll stay together long term! Buy the house you love, you didn’t know beforehand she lived there!

I just couldn't