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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dumb Previous House Owner... AIBU?

218 replies

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:24

First of all, I am happy to be told I'm being a cowbag. :)

A bit of relevant background
We moved into this house in September 2024. We purchased the house from a single woman named *Jane (widowed) in probably her late 50s/early 60s.
About a month after moving in, we received a "final demand" in the post for a small amount she owed to O2.

She hadn't left a forwarding address, so I enquired with the estate agent who handled the sale, and Jane begrudgingly gave them "permission" to give me her new address (a house on the other side of our large town). I dutifully re-posted it and thought no more of it.
Then in about December we received another "final demand", still for O2 and the same amount. I put this one in the post to her as well.
I've also sent on Christmas cards, and various mailings from different animal charities.

Fast forward to about September this year, we received a credit card from a reputable bank in the post, for her. We kept hold of it for a couple of weeks, expecting her to get in touch when she realised her error (after all, she knows where we live!) But she never did.
At this point, I was getting fed up of being her forwarding service, cut the card in half, and posted it BACK to her bank, with a covering letter.

Fast forward again to this week. We received ANOTHER credit card for her (same bank)! We roll our eyes and put it to one side - how on earth has she not changed her address on her BANK?!
Then today we received a "PIN reminder". Her ACTUAL PIN NUMBER.

In all honesty, I feel disinclined to put her new address on it... I've done it enough times now.
Would I but a total cowbag if I just returned it "Not known at this address"? Solely because I think she's stupid?

OP posts:
Therandomtrekker1 · 21/12/2025 11:30

Sold my house after 20 years, still received post for the previous owner even in the last month of owning it.
Tried numerous times to return to sender, it was the same company even writing ‘stop sending stuff you idiots ‘ on the envelope did nothing.

DecoratingDiva · 21/12/2025 11:39

Same happened to me, I kept getting share dividend cheques for the previous owners, I kept sending them back as “not know at this address”. 20 years that went on, I haven’t had anything for the last 18 months.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 21/12/2025 11:42

Not at this address
Not at this address
Not at this address

Go to the post office and ask them to stop putting her mail through your letter box

Don't open her mail

Reallyneedsaholiday · 21/12/2025 11:43

Not at this address
Not at this address
Not at this address

Go to the post office and ask them to stop putting her mail through your letter box

Don't open her mail
This is a criminal offence, and can result on fines or imprisonment.

Theslummymummy · 21/12/2025 11:45

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:34

Because she's still actively using my address for important shit, despite not having lived here for over a year?

Show quote history

That doesn't give you the right to open her mail! And it sounds lije you opened it from the very beginning. Just put them in a postbox or in the bin. Has it crossed your mind she has updated her address and they haven't actioned it? That's a very regular occurrence. Stop opening her mail, you're in the wrong for that, more than she is for not changing her address.

Charlenedickens · 21/12/2025 11:48

Stunned at these answers, do people really think the police are going to charge her with opening the mail or something, I guess they must, but I’d honestly have thought absolutely everyone would know the police don’t care in this scenario, it’s onky if it malicious.

Wickedgreengirl · 21/12/2025 11:58

Our seller didn’t leave an address. We used to leave post with a neighbour. After a few years we gave up and I just kept returning to sender - even important pension looking letters. Not my problem!

DahliasEverywhere · 21/12/2025 12:07

About 6 months after I moved a man knocked on my door and told me he’d come to collect my car. Turned out, the previous occupant had booked a service but forgot to mention her new address!

I still get post for her and I lived here 6 years.

LouBBB · 21/12/2025 12:10

I still get post for the person we bought off in 2017! I never open anything, it all goes back to sender "not known at this address". Some looks like bank or official stuff, mostly it's marketing nonsense.

I would have been more charitable but for the first few years they would get stuff delivered here and then send someone to pick it up. It felt like they were being a CF and possibly committing fraud so I would refuse to hand anything over and return those to sender too and eventually they stopped.

Femalemachinest · 21/12/2025 12:12

I either bin or return to sender. Also did/do this for my ex even though he lives with his parents who are a few streets away. Not my responsibility

Tigerbalmshark · 21/12/2025 12:15

VickyEadieofThigh · 19/12/2025 12:06

Precisely! And it had been left outside the house by the courier, so we had no opportunity to accept or decline!

Show quote history

We have something similar, owners even still getting their online Christmas shopping delivered to us. And not only did the previous owners not update their address, but neither did the new buyers of their completely separate business!

So this shop across town is registered to our address at companies house, we get bills and tax demands for the shop arriving at our address… The new owners have definitely never lived here, and the shop isn’t local. I do put it back in the post box but two years on they haven’t updated it.

We got a pallet of 48 boxes of chocolate truffles this year, unlabelled but presumably also intended for the shop. It was just left in the front garden while we were at work, so we kept it (we waited a month to see if anyone would call for it, and they didn’t).

Frynye · 21/12/2025 12:15

As a slight defence. When I moved last time I changed my address with the bank but they kept sending things to the old address. Took a huge complaint to get it sorted, basically they had duplicated my profile on their system, they fixed it and gave me a small amount of compensation. So it could easily be a problem ok thr banks side. Just write, not known at this address and pop it back in the postbox. The bank will contact her then block her account until she gets in touch and sorts it

lazyarse123 · 21/12/2025 12:25

hurtsworse · 19/12/2025 10:39

You may "feel justified", it doesn't change the fact it is against the law.

Show quote history

It's not against the law if you are not intending to use the contents to the detriment of the addressee. Which op is clearly not.
We received some post from a debt company to our address but not our name. The debt co. Name was on the envelope. I sent 3 back as not known at this address. When the 4th came i opened it and rang them to explain. They were grateful as they should have been.

Walkden · 21/12/2025 12:29

"NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS works wonders but it can take time"

I mean how long do you keep doing this for though? I still get mail from previous owners despite doing the above for the first 5 years. Now I just bin them...

RainbowMoonbeam · 21/12/2025 12:57

You're doing too much. Just write "Not at Address" on it and drop it back in post.
The fact she hasn't updated bank actually doesn't surprise me at all. I lost my husband at 35 and had to move house a few months later. A year late I had to do a credit search to get finances sorted as I had no physical memory of big chunks of it and just could not remember certain things. I was in this exact scenerio and my bank eventually sent a notification through my banking app to say I needed to call and sort it.

Lavender14 · 21/12/2025 13:02

Yabu for opening her mail. You had no reason to do so.

I would just write no longer at this address and return to sender on everything. Presumably you have her new address so I'd write to her directly, say that the ongoing mail is becoming an issue and ask her to change her address or do redirection.

TheFirstMrsDV · 21/12/2025 13:49

I paid for forwarding mail
when I moved out. It was 20 years ago so we got a lot more mail back then.
new owners got really pissed off with me when mail kept coming after 6 months
kept calling me and complaining about it.
mum not sure what they expected me to do.
I told them to bin it . It would be nice if they sent it in if they felt it was important/personal but I didn’t expect it.
id cancelled everything I could .
mind you, they bought the place with cash given by parents. A flat on a council estate in north London and they used to call me about all kinds of stuff.
nothing is hidden or been dishonest about.
they just seemed put out that inner London was noisy and some of the people on the estate weren’t public school educated 😆

Billybob10 · 21/12/2025 13:53

You should be sending it back to sender.. don’t open it it’s not your post just write on the envelope not known at this address. Once o2 get that back they will go down other avenues to get her correct address. But you forwarding post isn’t solving the problem, some people don’t know how to change addresses.

TessSaysYes · 21/12/2025 13:56

You re saying "we received...etc" but you didn't. Because it's addressed to the previous owner. Stop fussing and just return to sender.

IceIceSlippyIce · 21/12/2025 14:05

It is incredibly difficult to stop sone post being sent.

This house has been owned by 3 people - Mr&Mrs Cheese, Mr&Mrs Forest, and us.
So when post kept coming to Mrs Smith, we returned to sender for 18 months, then Googled the "return" address for a company. Phoned them - promised it was removed. More post. Went into branch. Promised it was removed. Yet more post. Rang and put in a complaint. Had a very nice guy phone and chat to me, and explain that there are certain things the bank have yo send out, and until they have an address they have to use ours. I requested the address was changed to the CEOs address, and he did acknowledge the stupidity if it, but said there was nothing he could do

Companies need to have sonething in place for returned mail. Them just binning it is pointless.

AdjustingVideoFrameRate · 21/12/2025 14:27

Winteriscoming80 · 19/12/2025 10:32

We still get credit cards,bank statements,dvla,Christmas cards for the previous owners 4 years later.

We’re still getting Xmas cards from unknown people. We moved into this house 15 years ago. It’s quite sad really..

LJ125 · 21/12/2025 14:33

It’s illegal to open her mail and v unreasonable.

It’s not unreasonable for you to return it (unopened) to sender with the envelope marked ‘not at this address’.

NaturePlace · 21/12/2025 15:55

SL2924 · 19/12/2025 10:41

It’s illegal to open her mail. Doesn’t matter if you feel justified.
Dont forward on any post- return all to sender as no longer at address.

I don't think that's true. Merely opening it is not an offence.

Luluissleeping · 21/12/2025 15:59

We had this. In the end we collected them (loads) and took them into the bank with a council tax statement. They stopped after that.

ThatNoisyTealBird · 21/12/2025 16:55

Lived here 18 months.

Did return to sender a few times, then got something from the DVLA so decided to be generous and managed to get a forwarding address from a neighbour. Forwarded a few things, started writing "Please update your address" on them.

Still get stuff now so I either RTS or bin on the basis that, if it's not important enough to update their address, and seriously, how hard is it to do online, then they don't want it anyway.

I've moved four times in six years and have a folder on my laptop with all the places I need to change my address on. I also do a Royal Mail redirect for the fist six months every time to mop up any stragglers. It's not hard!

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