Work secret Santa

[Annoymous1203]

Am I being unreasonable.

I recently started a new job, which has been hybrid working mostly. Today was the annual Christmas get together and the first time I met most of the team.
I felt awkward for most of the time there as I didn't know anyone and everyone was talking about the Christmas party/ drinks out. We played some Christmas games and that was fine.
They had done secret Santa as a group, I wasn't involved as they'd drawn names before I joined. Absolutely fine. The time came and they started giving presents out and I got handed one with my name on. I said I'm sure this isn't for me as I wasn't here and was told that the manager (who wasn't there today) had got me something so I wasn't left out and included as she wanted me to feel part of the team. I was touched and thought that was really kind.

A few minutes went by and it became apparent that someone hadn't brought their present in and there was someone without a present.

So the lady who was organise it turn to me in front of everyone who I'd only just met and said I would need to give my present to this other staff member as it wasn't fair that I got one as I didn't deserve it as I hadn't spent any money and this other lady had. The whole place went silent and it was like tumbleweed and so awkward. I of course said no problem and of course she should have the gift and gave it to her.

I honestly couldn't care less about the gift but just the way I was given one so I felt included to then be called out and told it give it to someone else. This was the first time I'd ever met most of these people before.
I just felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?

It reflects incredibly badly on the person who told you to give up your gift, not you! I wouldn’t worry. But I’d have done the same as you and probably feel the same. The manager had got you a gift separate to the secret Santa, no idea why you should have given it up. Madness.

It sounds like you were understandably feeling quite anxious throughout the event - a Christmas do is quite a lot when you've only just started.

I think that will have fed into your feeling so uncomfortable about this awkward moment.

It's just the sort of awkward moment that happens occasionally. No one will remember it for more than 24 hours, so just forget about it.

What happens if their gift appears? They should have found out who didnt bring the gift in.

Whoever didn’t bring theirs should have been the one to hand it over!

I had similar in that I got given two one year and someone else got none. There was clearly a mix up so I tried to share but both presents were quite niche to my tastes. I felt awful even though it was in no way my fault.

Doesn't sound a nice workplace tbh.
The person insisting you handed over your gift was a twat & a bully but had I been the person she was attempting to hijack the gift for I'd have refused to accept it and told you to keep it.
Fucking hate SS, why involve yourself if you can't be arsed to organise yourself to buy and bring the gift when you're supposed to??

How unbelievably rude! So sorry you had this experience OP.

I imagine your boss will be mortified when they find out.

The person who did that made themselves look like an arsehole.

That's so awkward but it's the person who organized and made you give the gift that looks bad, not you at all.

I think you would of come across really well in the situation and actually made an excellent first impression. Even if nobody really said anything at the time they will have had strong opinions on what happened

I'd thank the Manager for my gift but say in an innocent way that it was a pity you had to give it to so and so because their SS gift didn't materialise.

The person organising the SS should have had a couple of spare gifts because you always get one who forgets to bring theirs in.

I can't believe that the person with no gift actually took yours 😳

It's embarrassing for them, not you.

Whoever insisted you hand over your gift is utterly classless and has zero manners. I have second hand embarrassment for them, especially the way they doubled down on you “not having spent anything” etc.
I would take them aside and let them know you didn’t appreciate their inappropriate behaviour. How dare they?

The person who forgot should have owned up and handed their gift over! Totally ridiculous that you were singled out like that. Shame on whoever did it - they could have easily just had a quiet word but I think it was frankly so unnecessary.

The person who told you to give up your gift could have easily said 'here, take mine' to the person whose gift was missing. Speaking to you like that was a horrible thing to do, and I hope that your manager gets to hear what happened, as this is clearly the last thing she wanted, and has resulted in you feeling even more uncomfortable than if you'd not been included in the first place.

Wtaf I'd be fuming if I'd got you the gift tbh

I imagine there were plenty of other people there who were absolutely mortified at what happened.

This - you have come out of this with shining colours. In a new workplace that's worth more than a Bayliss and Harding gift set or a box of chocolates.