I (30) am engaged to my fiancé (39) . We’ve been engaged for a year now.
We recently had my future mother in law over to stay and I felt like she was being passive aggressive with me. Over the few days she was here she mentioned marriage and weddings and that she ‘would feel utterly heartbroken’ if her kids were to get married without her there and that it would ‘break her’. She knows we were thinking about eloping then doing a big party afterwards as we are quite shy and wanted our wedding intimate.
But nothing is set in stone.
For her 74th birthday this year she’s going away to Spain and has invited everyone to come. I have to stay here because we have renovations happening on our house and have to be here for the contractors etc. I’ve encouraged my partner to go however he doesn’t want to go as he doesn’t want to leave me by myself. I’ve explicitly told him I think he should go and that it would be nice. He also said he doesn’t want to go partly because he can’t deal with his siblings (who he has a slightly turbulent relationship with)
He has explained his reasoning to her but when she was here she kept saying ‘as long as all my kids are with me on my holiday I’ll be happy’ she also kept mentioning she may not have long left ! I’m not sure if she blames me for him not going ! It’s not my fault.
Also I’ve just turned 30 and she said that I’m getting older and that I need to think about children as it won’t be long before I’m infertile.
I just felt this was so insensitive. Her other children have had kids so she’s already a grandma but they are grown up now. She always brings up having children when we see her. I just feel like snapping back at her!
Lastly she criticised me on how we are spending our money. We go on holiday maybe every few years - if that (we don’t particularly enjoy travelling) and also we probably go out to eat once in a blue moon. We both work really hard and have jointly decided to spend our money on buying a house and renovating it. When she stayed over she expressed concern that we never go out and that we have ‘no life’ She said life’s to short to just spend our money on renovations and that we need to go on more vacations. She is not well off because she spends ALL of her money on vacations and eating out. When we meet up with her she doesn’t pay for a single thing. We take her out to eat when she’s here. It took every bit of me to say that I think she’s the one wasting her money.
I’m really starting to dislike her and dread whenever we have to see her.
sorry for the rant just need some advice please.
thank you x