Hi all, my DD is autistic, she is intelligent and does really well in most areas of school, she is now in Y11. She also has bad anxiety and has panic attacks.
The only class she has issues with is French, the teacher has a reputation for just not being very nice, my older DS also had this teacher and used to come home telling me the things the teacher had said (for example when talking about careers one of the girls in his class said she wanted to be mum, and the teacher replied saying she doesn’t understand why anyone would have children and they are awful (which seems like an odd take for a teacher to express to her class even if that is how she feels)). She is known for being extremely low tolerance and shouting often.
For French the have 2 workbooks, one for the actual work and another they use for homework. They were given a hand out and told to glue it into their workbooks and DD told me she didn’t realise that they were meant to glue it into their homework book, when she realised she put her hand up and told the teacher who then apparently started shouting, telling DD she should have listened better, it’s unacceptable from Y11s, she would expect this from 5 year olds not 15 year olds. DD started panicking and the teacher then apparently shouted at her telling her “to turn off the waterworks”. DD then told me that the 3 people who she sits at a desk with then got involved with one of the girls just putting her arm around her and walking her out of the class to pastoral support and one of the boys at the table apparently spoke/shouted over the teacher “can’t you see she’s having a panic attack you’re making it worse”.
At lunchtime these same 3 students who aren’t DDs friends (DD doesn’t really have any close friends in school but does outside of school) came and found her and asked if she was okay, one of the boys copied some things she had missed into her workbook. DD was then informed by other pupils that the girl who took her to pastoral support and the boy who spoke up have been given detentions. DD feels really bad about this, and feels as though it is her fault they have been given detentions. DD has also said she wants to thank them for standing up for her but she is nervous to approach them as they are “popular”.
I feel like I need to contact the school, first to make sure that the teacher is aware of DDs anxiety and autism as her response to DD makes me think she is either unaware or was really horrible in how she handled it, but also as it seems incredibly unfair other children are being punished for defending DD? It makes me think at the very least someone more senior should be made aware of what’s happened (be it DDs pastoral support teacher or the year/department head).
DD is also now extremely anxious about returning to that class as she never ended up returning to French today (her pastoral support teacher sent her to the supporter learning base where DD is able to go any time she feels overwhelmed or overstimulated).
I also want to make a point of thanking the children who did stand up for, and I was thinking of getting them a little box of malteasers or similar since they are now being punished? But I’m concerned that might come across a bit strange and do DD no favours socially?
WIBU to contact the school? Who am I best asking for? Should I thank DDs peers in some way?