AIBU to be miffed about Chester Zoo?

[Stillinshock123]

I need a space to rant but then I welcome feedback and general common-sense.

Chester zoo have posted about £1 deal for those on benefits such as UC, DLA and PIP.

Now, I understand that for some this may be the only opportunity to attend the Zoo given their already ridiculously high prices.

However AIBU to be upset that yet again working families (full time not claiming parts of UC) don’t seem to benefit from much?

We attend the zoo only once a year because of how expensive it is.. so that’s a luxury. So no thanks, no support or discounts.

I emailed them about this, and they replied saying that it’s part of a charity scheme to give back to families who otherwise can’t afford it. But then.. why shouldn’t it be first come first serve?

Or you are only seeing a small snippet of someone's lives and really shouldn't judge? Especially in your line of work.

I'd hate to think that somewhere on the internet, someone from the several charities that have helped or are currently helping me is deciding that my child isn't disabled enough to receive DLA because he lives a full life (how dare he!).

You have absolutely no idea how that anxiety might manifest in somebody’s life. I would rather we didn’t “ “ like anxiety isn’t real too, thank you.

I have a diagnosed, medicated, anxiety disorder. I work full time, raise a disabled child, and have a wide social circle. I also have scars on my hand from the last time I tore the skin off it, mid-episode, and have just finished my most recent therapy program.

I would hate to think I’d sit in front of someone like you , and you’d question if I had anxiety simply because I went to Fuerteventura last year.

You can take the activities that people do at face value, if it helps the “scrounging” narrative, but it doesn’t tell you anything about them beyond surface level.

It is like the lady with anxiety who was on Question Time a little while back. Utter outrage and insistence that she must be faking as someone with anxiety could not possibly be out the house, let alone on TV.

I’m all for this scheme from Chester zoo, and think it is especially good that parents of disabled children can take their children there for a discounted price. That must be so helpful if for eg, they aren’t able to attend for long due to the child’s needs because they know then that they haven’t wasted loads of money. I know many parents who would be so grateful for that.

however, I read your post and just wanted to point out that you can definitely get PIP for ADHD and work full time. My nephew does. He has no extra support in work but as it is a very full on, practical and slightly dangerous job, he is able to focus well and is doing brilliantly there. He struggles in other areas of life with his impulsiveness and massively struggled in school which is why he got DLA which has then been converted to PIP.

That's brilliant, well done to your nephew. Sorry, I should have added that there are some people who have adhd and similar conditions severe enough for PIP who work full time because they have found a job that is perfect for them and fits around their needs. My ds1 has autism, gets pip and he has managed to find a job that suits him really well. He works for a fast food company clearing tables and cleaning up. It's perfect for him because he has a routine that he sticks to and he can walk there which is great because he struggles with public transport.

I don't know, I never get angry at these sorts of things. Why?

Because my dad was once a child in care / benefits whatever you want to call it and I always imagine that he would have deserved something like this so much.

He has since worked a very difficult 'key worker' role from the age of 17, with hardly any days off and pays his taxes. He is often taxed a large amount as he decides to put in a lot of overtime also, a trauma of never having any money as a child. Goes above and beyond for so many people and gives back to those who need it now he is in a position to do so.

Sometimes we ride different waves and circumstances in life, you never know what may happen.. we are speaking from a place of privilege and I would not choose to switch places for a free day at the zoo.

I was on UC, I did London Zoo and London Transport Museum, both for a quid. 2 lovely days out. I wouldn't have gone otherwise. Tons of photos of tigers, baby gorillas, giraffes etc. Other than that, I hated being on UC. I didn't take anybody else's place. Had I had to pay more, I would not have gone.

Thank you for this @Stillinshock123 I know it wasn’t the point of your AIBU but I didn’t know about this offer and because of your post my 3 year old has just had a lovely day at the Zoo that he wouldn’t normally have had, despite us living close to Chester.

I’m a single mum, on PIP and UC and wouldn’t have been able to justify risking the normal cost as DS (weirdly!) isn’t at all bothered for animals. So I have to save my very limited income for the necessary things or at best, stuff I can be certain he will definitely enjoy. But you have just made a little boys day as we spent the day at the zoo playing on all the different play areas there instead - and he had a whale of time ❤️.

And, again, how lovely that so many if you have enjoyed a treat with your family and you now know there are plenty of lovely treats available for the new year.

I ask that you spare a moment to think of the families who are also really struggling, don’t receive any benefits and aren’t eligible for any special deals. Those children are worthy of sympathy right now. It is eye-opening how many people on here expect compassion for their own situations but are unwilling to accept there are others who are in bad situations, with no chance of help.

As I've said before if you think it's so great, give up work to go on benefits. You may turn understand why things like this exist

Interesting point. Some thoughts, more or less random.
Writing as a socialist, and a believer in fair opportunities for all, where exactly is the point where the responsibility for one's own progression passes from the government to the individual?
For example, I beleive in equality of opportunity for all, but what people do with those opportunities, at some point it is up to them. In my class of 10/11 year olds in a fairly decent state primary it's already clear which children have potential to do really well based on the effort they put in, and even the personalities they were born with, and then there are some for whom it's never their fault and everything is 'unfair.' Of course, having taught secondary too I know it's clear that some children can and do turn it around later.
Is someone doing a poorly paid 'squeezed middle' job due to poor life choices (pissing around at school, not applying themselves at work)- in which case sorry but maybe you just can't afford to go to the zoo; or are they the victims of 'unfairness' eg a very challenging childhood or a poor education? In which case, how to allow you a subsidised trip to the zoo without also subsidising those who did have every opportunity but didn't take them? Remember if everybody had a subsidised trip to the zoo....there would be no zoos.

If you were struggling “enough,” you’d be on benefits and receiving support.

It’s not that nobody feels sorry for the “squeezed middle,” it’s that most people can recognise they’d rather be in the squeezed middle than below that, and reserve their sympathy for people who have less than anyone in the “middle.”

I don’t know how much more widely that point can be missed. If you’re a middle earner with less disposable income than someone on benefits, you need to reassess your budget.

I’m neither of those things, and can still see that the people who are most vulnerable should be the ones who receive support.

Exactly.

I used to be in the squeezed middle until life changed overnight and now I receive support from UC and charities.

I'd give anything to go back to my squeezed middle life.

Thoughts and prayers?

If you are struggling, then what are you doing to change it? Many people on UC can not improve their circumstances, especially if there is disability involved.

Surely if everyone was entitled to this deal, the zoo would make no money.

Lines always have to be drawn.

Or you could give up your benefits and see how hard it is to manage without them. You are lucky to receive them.

And you sympathise with those just on the wrong side of it?

@BustopherPonsonbyJones

What is your personal issue with where the line is?

If you’re in this group of people who just don’t qualify- either earn more and increase your income, or earn less so you do get benefits. Up to you, really.

If you’re just that desperate to go to the zoo, we’ll qualify for a £1 ticket that I have no desire to use, you can have mine. Merry Christmas.

But you don’t feel those with low incomes, benefit top ups and special deals need to reassess their budget? Many of them are getting a combined amount which is more than those who you feel can just budget more effectively. You are obviously in a higher income band and are yet to feel the cost of living impact if you think it is that easy. Give it a year or two and you might understand.

Most people on UC would have no income at all if they were removed.
These are people that at are too sick to work, or are caring for a disabled child.
I don't think calling them "lucky" is really appropriate, neither is insisting they think of the squeezed middle when they are having a day out using UC tickets.

Rather than punch down, try and change your own situation. Because other people's UC/discounts etc has no bearing on you whatsoever. Telling them to think of you being skint is just weird. Water your own grass.

A year or two? I doubt it.

I am in a higher income band, and am more “squeezed” than I was 5-10 years ago. Everyone is, because of the obvious COL crisis that we all know about.

But I would still rather be squeezed, as it means there’s something there to be squeezed.

They get that because they’re entitled to it. As I’ve said before - if you needed it you’d be entitled to it too! Either lower your income and go on benefits too, if you’re so jealous, or find a way to earn more. Stop expecting sympathy from people worse off than you, it’s nonsensical.

The lack of empathy is eye opening. Everything is fine as the same old groups get given more and more and more. Enjoy it. You’re all right, Jack. ‘Thoughts and prayers’ only for those people too. No one else is allowed to struggle.

No, thanks to the zoo ticket. I can’t bear seeing animals in cages. I’d take a Tower of London one though.

I'm not "lucky" to be on a low income

But you wouldn't swap would you

So you are struggling to get your head around the fact that those who earn less than you and receive no help are finding the cost of living crisis harder than you (who just has slightly less disposable income) and those who earn less (but get benefits to top them up)?

You sound very smug.