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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child Maintenance enforcement - what is realistic?

79 replies

innistree · 17/12/2025 13:02

This is genuinely about a friend.

A friend has recently discovered that there is an open CMS claim against him and that arrears have built up for child maintenance relating to his biological child. For reasons I won't go into in detail, this was not something he was aware of previously, and there is no moral failing on his side. He spent much of the last decade outside the UK, and when he was here his address changed frequently, so correspondence did not reach him.

He is currently not in paid employment and has a number of physical and mental health conditions which make work difficult or unlikely. CMS appear to have applied the default rate of £38 per week during all previous years, without his knowledge, and ridiculous £££ arrears have accumulated as a result.

He has now received a letter threatening enforcement action, including possible driving licence disqualification and the use of bailiffs.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experience of this from the receiving or paying side. I have a lot of sympathy for those affected by non-payment, and I'm absolutely not looking to argue the principle, but I'm trying to understand what enforcement action is realistically taken in practice and over what sort of timescale.

OP posts:
MannersAreAll · 17/12/2025 23:48

19lottie82 · 17/12/2025 23:30

Who’s threatening to take away his driving license? That doesn’t happen in the UK for unpaid child maintenance.

It is one of the things that can be done, but it's quite rare. Like 3/4 a year from what I remember.

Passport removal is even rarer.

MannersAreAll · 17/12/2025 23:49

GovernmentFundedSteak · 17/12/2025 23:31

In my experience, as a (non) receiving parent the CMS will do the sum total of fuck all. They wrote off my exes debt and made a 'nil' assessment for the remaining years because he apparently earned less than £7 per week. His lifestyle (and FB business page) proved otherwise but they didn't care.

Based on that, and the experience of many of my friends, your friend would be spectacularly unlucky if the CMS actually did anything.

Stories like yours enrage me because they don't actually have the power to write off the debt without your agreement, but the letters they send absolutely do not make clear that you can say "eh no..." and people have no idea they can insist the debt stays in place

Sprogonthetyne · 18/12/2025 07:33

Theunamedcat · 17/12/2025 18:40

No the other parent needs to adopt the child i was going to do it with my ex husband and my biological child but it requires her biological father to consent he refused (and also refused to pay or be in her life 🤷‍♀️) its fairly simple

Surly the fact you were going to but didn't proves you don't need to adopt. You ex presumably continued to live with you and fill a step-parent role without the adoption. The mothers partner can still help raise the child without being legally recognised as the parent.

Theunamedcat · 19/12/2025 19:58

Sprogonthetyne · 18/12/2025 07:33

Surly the fact you were going to but didn't proves you don't need to adopt. You ex presumably continued to live with you and fill a step-parent role without the adoption. The mothers partner can still help raise the child without being legally recognised as the parent.

My ex said no i could have gone to court and as he had no contact for over five years I could have most likely pushed it through her father would no longer be obligated for child support so I thought he wouldn't care turns out he did care but not enough to see her or pay for her but it would have been expensive because he objected ultimately I decided to keep the child maintenance claim open and not bother with the adoption and yes my then husband filled the role of step-parent but my ex spent YEARS avoiding child support one signature would have allowed him to get on with his life without that burden

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