Which 8 year old to trust

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Looking for advice. Long story, sorry. I have 5 children and 4 attend school. 2 in secondary and 2 in primary and the last in school nursery.
My children love school and are very easy going children. Always have good parents evenings. 3/4 are always getting star of the week and good behaviour awards. I always get the same comment though that they are shy. Fine.

My middle child DS 8 did have a bumpy year when he was 5-6 and we were debating getting a SEN assessment for him as I believe he has ADHD, I am an RNLD and if it was someone else’s child I would be urging them to get him assessed but at home he’s fine and he’s getting better with age without a doubt. In school he struggles to sit still and concentrate but his tests all come out on track if not a little above so teachers aren’t concerned.

Anyway the other day said child comes home saying he wants to move schools, he said some kids were bullying him. I tried to ask him how but he clams up and says it’s fine and he’ll be fine. He has friends but they’re all girls, he hates football and ‘boy games’ and likes to chat to the girls.
My cousins daughter is in the same class as him so I have a sneaky word and say do people bully him and she said only the teacher! She said everybody else goes and fills their water bottle but when he goes to he gets shouted at. She said the teacher is always going on at him.
i asked my son but he said no it’s fine and clammed up again. I tried having a chat with him at bedtime too but it seems he is either completely oblivious to it or he is hiding it from me.
my younger son 7 also had this teacher a few years ago though and said ‘she’s horrible’ so I wonder if she’s just a strict teacher. But my little informant was sure it was just DS that gets in trouble and she ‘likes everyone else’
on parents evening this teacher was really harsh on him, DS thrives with younger, newer teachers. I know it’s controversial to say but I find older teachers feel he is a nuisance and maybe training has changed but they seem to be put out that he needs a bit more stimulation. If he’s bored you’ve lost him.
Dont come for me. We have many teachers in the family and I understand the job stress but this is what I have found.

i think he is scared I’ll make a scene, which I definitely wouldn’t. The children get their shyness from me and I would always be polite but to think a grown up is upsetting my child gets my blood boiling.
I don’t know what to do. Do I call the school for a conversation, do I bite the bullet and speak the SEND coordinator or do I trust my son and leave it? It’s just strange that all of a sudden he wants to move school. I want my son to be resilient and I am not going to cause a scene but I also will move his school if needs be but I don’t know if we’re there yet.

AIBU to listen to an 8 year old.

I have a son and a daughter close in age. They were in composite classes together. I could have had the same story told to me after school by both kids and they would have sounded completely different. My daughter is so dramatic. She is prone to hyperbole. I wouldn’t think the truth is somewhere between the two. If I was in your position though I would defo ask for a quick word with the teacher.

I think that asking another child for corroboration was completely inappropriate, and it has now set you off down a rabbithole about his teacher being unpleasant to him rather than what he actually said to you about being bullied by other children. I think you need to find a way of talking to him and making him trust you enough to confide in you before you go any further.

Regardless of what exactly is happening, because you'll never properly find out unless you've got them on camera all day for a few weeks, your child is unhappy to the point that they want to move schools, despite having friends there, and that needs addressing. Plus do you really want an extra school drop off if you can help it?!
Firstly I'd see if there's a ta I could catch for a chat at the end of the day to ask how he's doing in class then after that if nothing changes for a few days I'd definitely call the school for a meeting. If the class teacher has to be involved so be it, if the sendco can be involved too so much the better, so feel free to raise your suspicions about him having ADHD. The teacher may need advice, support or training but I've found even just raising the issue shines a light on things and can make them buck up their ideas.

Hmmm! I would have a word with school and kids dont always lie or elaborate the truth.
I once received a call from secondary school about an 'incident' with a foster child (y7) Basically they'd had an incident with a teacher, they TOTALLY misunderstood what the teacher meant and basically had a meltdown but everything's OK now.
The call felt really off. I messaged a mum with a ds in the class and asked when he came in could she casually ask how his day was, anything happen? Without mentioning our fc name ( I didn't say why)
She actually came up because she was so upset . Apparently fc (has sensory processing and severe trauma) had asked a question, and the teacher blew at them using the words stupid thick and not normal. Told them to get out of his class but they were actually removed by a passing staff member who helped them. A girl in the class (not a friend from primary) actually said 'Sir you can't say that. You'll get in trouble'.
School were obviously trying to bolt the stable door after the horse had bolted. We had several interesting calls and a meeting in the following days which resulted in the teacher having to apologise (told fc up to them if they wanted to accept and the understanding fc would not be in his class ).
School lied and were caught out

Now I'm an ex teacher of 16yrs. Several teachers in the family and I know its hard. Would i teach secondary ?? No because i know how hard it is. Had SLT been honest and explained what had happened I would have been more understanding but not when they lied .

Edited for spellings