Some school advice please

[namechangechangechangechange]

Hi, my ds who is 9 and autistic is being bullied this year. There’s being several incidents of name calling (including homophobic slurs and offensive language about disability) and aggressive (but not physical) behaviour. We have spoken to school several times and recently had a meeting where we were reassured it was all in hand.
yesterday I get a phone call to collect DS as he’s injured and distressed. I was told by a teacher two boys had repeatedly kicked him, one had pushed him and he hit his head on a wall and they had called him homophobic slurs.
He has a lump on his forehead and 5 bruises on his legs and body and his knee was slightly swollen.
Later I get a call from the head saying teacher didn’t see what happened and head has investigated and what actually happened was DS was ‘annoying’ a girl (I clarified with DS he was telling a girl some facts about dinosaurs and yes it’s plausible she wasn’t happy with the conversation although he thought she was) and 1 boy pushed him away from the girl.
DS has said he was pushed into a wall and kicked several times and his injuries are consistent with that. He said it was two boys who he had named.
im going in for a meeting today, it feels like the head is trying to minimalise it and blame DS for bothering the girl. This also happened in the classroom where there should had be a staff member.
i appreciate my son can be difficult as socially he is significantly behind his peers, he has a full time 1:1 but she was on her lunch break at the time. But I do feel this should be taken seriously. Aibu or should I drop this?

My DS is similar.
Firstly i really hope your son is ok, both physically and emotionally.
This is what I would do;
He needs to be and feel safe in school. Keep him off today. He needs to know you have his back. Spend the time today talking to school and making sure that the kids who did this to your son are being dealt with and ask for details as to how they are going to stop this happening again. That is probably going to be providing him with a 1-1 over social times, unless they have a different solution which you are happy with. Take photos of his injuries. Do not send him back until they are able to provide you with a workable plan for him. If they cannot do this they are unable to safeguard him and he should not be there. They need to accept this and signpost you to people who can help you find a school that will support him, whether that is mainstream or in the SEN sector.
Good luck. I will be thinking of you both 💐

As PP said (and I said down thread), there are SEN units in mainstream schools where children access mainstream provision with extra support. And can potentially rejoin mainstream at any point (just call an early annual review and name mainstream in Section I). It’s just a slightly windier route to the same destination.

Not in our city, there is a school for autistic children who are no more than two years behind academically. Some children at that school do some GCSEs (but not as many as mainstream) the rest do life skills. The other Sen schools are either for those with learning difficulties or health conditions so my son would not fit the criteria. Theres also PRU’s and APs but they are short term solutions.

Obviously we could look out of the city but the nearest ones are probably at least a hour away (longer in rush hour) so it would be very difficult on my son and on us.

Thank you

After your meeting, follow up with an email so you have a paper trial should you require it as evidence at a later date.

It sounds like you need to request an early review of DS’s EHCP whether you look at a change of placement or not. 1:1 can be provided over lunchtime too. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

What other support is DS receiving?

Have you considered independent schools?

At primary 45 mins is typically considered the max recommended travel time. Although many travel further. 1hr15 at secondary.

Thank you. Meeting went ok, head and senco were there. Head apologised and said she hadn’t got the full picture. They are going to give him support at lunch in the short term and aapply for additional funding to cover this long term. They didn’t say much about the children except they will be disciplined and parents will be told. Meeting was minuted

Still follow up with what was said and agreed- you need that paper trail. You never know what you might need for the future, so evidence it now in an email thanking them for their time and support and bullet pointing the agreed points.