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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone else find those automated ‘abuse won’t be tolerated’ phone messages incredibly irritating?

57 replies

Bottlesofrumonthewall · 16/12/2025 22:01

You know the ones. Robotic voice before you’ve even spoken to a human.

It always makes me think if you need to say that before putting someone through maybe the issue isn’t the callers but the deliberately infuriating customer service systems. Endless menus no actual help staff with no authority then a warning not to get annoyed.

It just feels like being pre emptively told off. Surely better systems would reduce abuse more than a passive aggressive recording?

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 17/12/2025 11:38

ohyesido · 17/12/2025 11:31

I understand. It’s not unusual for firmness to be misconstrued as abusive. It’s quite often challenging to explain a complicated problem to a call centre staff member who is working from a script and getting a manager to help is nigh on impossible. That can result in assertiveness, which the staff perceive as aggression.

yes, my household got blacklisted by our favourite takeaway for allegedly being rude to delivery staff on an evening when they repeatedly got our order wrong.
As far as I can tell our only crime was that we did actually insist on getting the food we had ordered and DH’s ‘thank you very much’ when it finally came wasn’t in the right tone of voice.
I have worked in customer service and very much agree staff shouldn’t have to put up with abuse, but there are two sides.

HappyNewTaxYear · 17/12/2025 11:39

Call the AA (automobile association). You’ll get a message saying their staff are fuelled by kindness.

I just can’t see how that would stop anyone being annoyed…

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 17/12/2025 11:42

If these workers weren’t being abused while at work these messages wouldn’t need to exist. Be more pissed off with all the cunts out there who treat other people so poorly just for doing their job.

Ciderwine · 17/12/2025 11:54

It won't be long before AI will be replacing us in customer service -so good luck with that. 99.9% of the customers I deal with are lovely. Once things are explained properly they usually calm down. Companies want all the profits for themselves and expect us on minimum wage to.deal with the flack

NotAnotherScarf · 17/12/2025 12:22

Having worked in and managed call centers no they are a good idea to remind people that the company will back it's staff given that over 20 years ago I had:-
Death threats for not paying out on a car claim
Threats of violence for stating I'd listened to an earlier call and my member of staff wasn't rude to the customers wife and she was laughing throughout the call and he'd suggested other areas of the house to check for damage.
Had people taken the piss out of my accent
Had complaints maliciously made against me because I decided a claim which was clearly not covered in the policy (again the call proved to be ok)
I was sworn at weekly... even closing one file where I knew the customer was going to ask for a copy of the file with "the customer called me an Onanist and put the phone down"...lead to the customer saying I'd make things up and was being racist...onan was in fact a bible character who "spilled his seed on the ground rather than get his dead brothers wife pregnant as his father commanded...he was a wanker!

NotAnotherScarf · 17/12/2025 12:25

IAmKerplunk · 17/12/2025 02:02

Even worse is the ‘we are currently experiencing a high volume of calls’ - they haven’t switched that message off since the pandemic. Just hire more people!

I call that the Australian model. Without getting into detail, call centers can predict perfectly down to one person, how many staff they need. The Australians were the first to realise/exploit the fact that most people have to phone back so it's easy to let calls be unanswered

Bollihobs · 17/12/2025 12:28

PurpleCyclamen · 16/12/2025 22:15

No. I feel sad they are needed.
If you are finding yourself ‘incredibly irritated’ by having to briefly listen to a message saying that abuse won’t be tolerated, perhaps you need to ask why? Is it hitting a raw nerve?

"Is it hitting a raw nerve?"

What an utterly ludicrous comment. 🙄

I really cannot fathom sometimes how some people's minds work.

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