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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want my tenner back...

50 replies

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/12/2025 20:52

A very small 1st world problem to some people but its getting under my skin.

I run an afterschool club with another teacher. We have a cooperative relationship generally and have worked together for about a year and a half.

I've bought quite a few bits and prices for the club...stationary and chocolate prizes. She has never bought prizes or has never given me money for the purchases I have made. Thats fine.

We had our first little party last Christmas. I bought goodies for the children (crisps etc). She said she would Revolut me half but she never did.

She then bought overly expensive treats in a overpriced shop for the next party (at summer). I sent her half the price immediately.

We said we would have another party this Christmas week. No one bought the goods so last night I knew if I didnt get them for today it wouldnt happen.

So I spent 20 on treats, sent her the receipt and she said she'd pay half. Nothing came in last night.

Had the party today. She was there with phone in her hand watching me distribute the goods. She said thanks and she'd Revolut me.

She still hasn't.

I feel petty chasing someone over a tenner but its the principle. I'm noticing a pattern with her. I don't want to appear petty but I've asked twice. If she doesn't send it this week, its hard to ask for it again. Its a small thing but feeling resentful.

These people's personalities get on my nerves.

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 16/12/2025 20:54

She owes you a tenner, I would keep on at her

ShodAndShadySenators · 16/12/2025 20:55

Remind her again, and this time point out that when she did the spending for the summer event, you paid her your half promptly. She clearly needs a bit of embarrassment to learn not to be a chiseller.

TheatricalLife · 16/12/2025 20:56

I think you need to start the new year with a fresh agreement on how you pay for these events. You could either each put in an equal amount at the beginning of the year so it's prepaid, or agree to each paying for certain events (i.e. she does Christmas, you do Halloween etc).
I'd ask again for the tenner. Don't let it go. Use that and when mentioning setting up a system for next year.

Lewiscapaldiscat · 16/12/2025 21:00

Remind her for everything she owes you with your details

cheely fuckers rely on being British and not asking

it’s not unreasonable to ask for the money back - it is unreasonable to moan and do nothing about it

OneAmberPombear · 16/12/2025 21:01

Why are you spending your own money? You’re clearly resentful about it, so don’t!

And if someone shows a pattern, believe them. Don’t make any more agreements with her.

doggiecats · 16/12/2025 21:01

Maybe she has the wrong bank details?

Arlanymor · 16/12/2025 21:04

Why did you send her half when she hadn't reimbursed you from before? Best thing to have said would have been: "How much was it? I'll pay half, less what you owe me from summer." If you've written off the first lot of stuff then definitely chase this.

Bobiverse · 16/12/2025 21:06

Is the after school club paid for by parents? There should be a petty cash float for expenses. Why are you spending your own money?

Minjou · 16/12/2025 21:07

Just send a Revolut request, stop being a martyr

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/12/2025 21:09

Thank you for the replies. These people make you feel petty for looking for your money as maybe they consider it an insignificant amount, or they're away with the fairies and forget. I don't think she's trying to get one up so can't figure it out.

I will ask her again tomorrow. If she doesn't give it to me, I'm not buying any more treats. No more financial dealings as its causing a headache. Or she can buy the treats next time, and I won't Revolut her the cash. That might make me feel better.

OP posts:
4forksache · 16/12/2025 21:09

She’s not embarrassed about not paying you so why should you be embarrassed asking for it?

Keep reminding her.

If she’s not up for spending her own money for the club, which isn’t unreasonable to not want to, then she should be honest, so you do need to ensure she’s ok about it. If she is, then hound her until you get the money.

LoveWine123 · 16/12/2025 21:12

Send her a money request

Folderoller · 16/12/2025 21:13

If she doesn’t reimburse you tomorrow leave her to pay for the summer party and replicate her behaviour.

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 16/12/2025 21:16

Maybe she can't afford to keep spending money like this and is embarrassed?

CandyCaneKisses · 16/12/2025 21:17

She’s not obligated to spend her own money on these things. You are choosing to go above and beyond but she may not want to.

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 16/12/2025 21:18

Folderoller · 16/12/2025 21:13

If she doesn’t reimburse you tomorrow leave her to pay for the summer party and replicate her behaviour.

Sorry I can't understand why anyone is having to use their own cash. Why on earth should she pay for a summer party or any party for that matter? Surely if you want to go ahead but others shouldn't be made to feel like they have to (or may be too embarrassed to say no). All of those tenners here and there really add up.

These people's personalities get on my nerves. Maybe yours gets on hers?

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/12/2025 21:19

Thanks for the replies.

She has my Revolut so its not a case of wrong bank details.

The parents already pay cash for the club so don't want to ask for more.

I genuinely don't mind spending my money on treats. Its just her empty promises that irritate me. A lack of fairness or feel taken for granted

Someone said that maybe she isn't comfortable spending money on club? Thats not her personality, she's easy going & buys treats for her class from her own money.

I think I'll just step back. If she wants a party again, she can make the purchases and pay. Im learning to have no financial dealings.

Or I could ask for a kitty at beginning of next term. No money in the kitty, no treats.

I will remind her again tomorrow. After that no more.

OP posts:
Owly11 · 16/12/2025 21:19

Why are you being petty to ask what is owed of you. Just say 'could you transfer that tenner when you get a moment or cash is fine if that's easier'. And next time don't buy anything until you have her money in your hand.

CandyCaneKisses · 16/12/2025 21:19

I think if you want to do parties then the kids attending needs to contribute £1-£2. It shouldn’t be coming out of the teachers pocket.

doggiecats · 16/12/2025 21:20

CandyCaneKisses · 16/12/2025 21:19

I think if you want to do parties then the kids attending needs to contribute £1-£2. It shouldn’t be coming out of the teachers pocket.

Exactly

TinselTitts · 16/12/2025 21:20

My goodness, where on earth is your voice?

And why on earth did you pay her for the stuff she bought when she still owed you money?

Jeez.

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 16/12/2025 21:21

Someone said that maybe she isn't comfortable spending money on club? Thats not her personality, she's easy going & buys treats for her class from her own money.

There you go then she probably has had a guts full of working just to spend money on treats. She clearly does not want to for whatever reason so stop putting her in the position of her owing you.

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/12/2025 21:23

CandyCaneKisses · 16/12/2025 21:17

She’s not obligated to spend her own money on these things. You are choosing to go above and beyond but she may not want to.

We both agreed on the Christmas party last year.

She promised the children treats for the summer party. Not me. I reimbursed her.

Fair enough I suggested the Christmas party again but she was 100% on board. All she had to say "was not this year", and I wouldn't have bothered. Its easier for me not to bother.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/12/2025 21:26

doggiecats · 16/12/2025 21:20

Exactly

Show quote history

I think next time I'll tell children they can bring in a treat from home if they'd like.

OP posts:
Livelovelaughfuckoff · 16/12/2025 21:26

Suggest an agreed kitty for next year (cash only no relying on bank transfers) once cash is handed over then treats can be bought. No cash, no kitty no treats.

It’s lovely that you both buy treats for the kids but now it’s starting to cause resentments it might be time to pull back on it.