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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dress my baby boy in pink

56 replies

rockinrobins · 16/12/2025 17:51

I have a 7 month old son. The other day I put him in a pink outfit and shared a couple of photos. It's not a massively 'girly' outfit really - not a dress or frilly - it's just pink. It has other colours on it too but pink is the main colour.

It's not a handmedown from a girl relative - I bought it new for him because I like it and it suits him.

The photos weren't specifically to show off the outfit, they were just pics I shared because he was doing something cute.

My son's grandad (who is in his 60's) has reacted strangely to this. Not argumentative but just a sort of 'hmm, that's a bit unusual isn't it?' raised eyebrow reaction. Kind of quietly making it clear that he doesn't approve without outwardly saying it.

There's a lot of toxic masculinity in my family and tbh I do get sick of it and I don't want my son caught up in it. For example, when male members of my family see one another they do this weird macho handshake where they squeeze each other's hands really hard. I hate it. They have done it to every boyfriend I've brought home and they do it to my husband too - I can't stop them.

AIBU to just quietly assert that my son can have a softer side?

I don't want it to cause arguments or impact my son's standing in our family. But the truth is pink suits him and I like the outfit. He also has plenty of clothes in blue, green, red, neutrals etc - in fact this is his only pink outfit. Honestly I think it's all silly but AIBU?

OP posts:
Thundertoast · 17/12/2025 12:17

I started annoying people with this a few years ago, 100% success rate for embarrassing stupid people so far.

You start with saying 'why?' quite innocently.
if its 'a bit gay' comment you say 'only a problem if you're a homophobe, which im SURE you are not, you're FAR too smart for that nonsense'
If they say anything about pink being a girly colour you go
'you need a VAGINA to wear pink ??? I didnt know that!!!! I imagine his penis will just DROP OFF then, I should watch out for that..'

Basically, be dramatic and silly and wide eyed. Very entertaining as most of them get very grumpy!

Quondam · 17/12/2025 12:18

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I think you might want to reread the post you're replying to.

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/12/2025 12:19

It’s fine. Our grandson loves a pink outfit. My husband looks great in pink.

SelfRaisingFlour · 17/12/2025 12:20

YABU for using the term "toxic masculinity". Don't bring your boy up to think there's something wrong with being a boy. He'll get enough of that shit from elsewhere.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 17/12/2025 12:24

I would respond by pretending I thought he meant the cute thing your son was doing was unusual. So if it was e.g. sitting with the dog I'd respond "Oh no, not at all unusual. He loves the dog and they get on so well together".

When ds2 was in nursery (so age 3ish) his favourite dressing up outfit was the snowwhite costume. Thankfully the staff were not neanderthals and let the kids dress up in whatever they liked. When ds1 was there, all the boys wanted the pink cup with their meal. They got it in turns or as a reward.

I hate that old fashioned thinking. Clothes and toys are just that. They don't have a sex or gender.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 17/12/2025 12:27

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Could you explain how exactly wearing pink will "screw the kid up".

And no, there is nothing wrong with being a man. However, toxic masculinity is not a great look. That is much more likely to screw the kids up, particularly if the child does not conform to that nonsense.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 17/12/2025 12:28

SelfRaisingFlour · 17/12/2025 12:20

YABU for using the term "toxic masculinity". Don't bring your boy up to think there's something wrong with being a boy. He'll get enough of that shit from elsewhere.

Disliking toxic masculinity is not the same as thinking there is somethting wrong with being a boy.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/12/2025 12:31

Mine wore some pink hand me downs from DD. I didn’t buy massed of pink for dd as it’s not a favourite colour of mine (and the pink they were selling back in 2008 wasn’t a nice shade like they sell now) but what I had that was useful I also put on him.

DD was a winter baby and I actually bought quite a bit of stuff for her from the boys’ section as they had warmer stuff!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/12/2025 12:33

SelfRaisingFlour · 17/12/2025 12:20

YABU for using the term "toxic masculinity". Don't bring your boy up to think there's something wrong with being a boy. He'll get enough of that shit from elsewhere.

I don’t think you understand what toxic masculinity means.

It’s not the same as masculinity or as being a man.

cantbearsed27 · 17/12/2025 12:36

Oh yes, revel in buying him a play kitchen and a push chair as he gets older.

Thundertoast · 17/12/2025 12:42

SelfRaisingFlour · 17/12/2025 12:20

YABU for using the term "toxic masculinity". Don't bring your boy up to think there's something wrong with being a boy. He'll get enough of that shit from elsewhere.

Why are you telling people that using the phrase 'toxic masculinity' is damaging when you dont even know what the phrase means? Do you tell others what to do on topics you dont even know the basics about often?

APatternGrammar · 17/12/2025 12:59

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Men also become parents and cook food. There’s nothing male or female about dolls or play kitchens as gifts. The children are playing at being adults, that’s it.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 17/12/2025 13:02

cantbearsed27 · 17/12/2025 12:36

Oh yes, revel in buying him a play kitchen and a push chair as he gets older.

The play kitchen we bought ds1 was hugely popular with him and all his friends. It was also popular with dd and ds2 and their friends. I don't think we ever had a toy buggy. If we did, it wasn't popular as I don't remember it.

missmollygreen · 17/12/2025 13:28

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This.
Teaching boys that being men is bad is just going to make the problems worse.

Paaseitjes · 17/12/2025 14:01

My DH wears floral shirts and my DS wears floral baby grows. I wear pyjamas with dinosaurs. If he looks cute and is comfortable, it's all good! I draw the line at unicorns, but I wouldn't be buying that for a girl either

BananaMilkshake77 · 17/12/2025 14:03

I love my little boy (now toddler) in pink. Specially dark pink tees. It suits his blonde/blue eyes and colouring. Same as lilac.
I get many in the girls section.

I don't care!

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/12/2025 14:03

missmollygreen · 17/12/2025 13:28

This.
Teaching boys that being men is bad is just going to make the problems worse.

Show quote history

Hear, hear. I now have only good men in my life (a small minority, male relatives, were not so I cut them out). If some posters don't, change that.

5128gap · 17/12/2025 14:08

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You don't understand what toxic masculinity means, do you? You think it means thinking men are toxic, don't you?
Why not Google it. You'll be surprised when you see what it really means.

NancyAmesidontwanttotalkaboutit · 17/12/2025 20:27

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/12/2025 12:19

It’s fine. Our grandson loves a pink outfit. My husband looks great in pink.

I'm a happily married man late 50s ,I wear cerise to baby pink sweat shirts ,polo shirts.
The men that go on about pink being gay etc doth protest too much.
It's a colour nothing more nothing less.🤯

Millytante · 17/12/2025 20:38

SelfRaisingFlour · 17/12/2025 12:20

YABU for using the term "toxic masculinity". Don't bring your boy up to think there's something wrong with being a boy. He'll get enough of that shit from elsewhere.

You misunderstand the term. It is not equating masculinity with ‘toxic’ as though that were a Homeric constant characteristic, eg ‘wily Odysseus’, ‘rosy-fingered dawn’, where the permanent adjective applies regardless of changing circs or behaviour.

Toxic masculinity is macho crap gone very rancid; it’s a distillation of all that is regrettable in male behaviour, and 99.9% of the time, it’s violence-based, and deeply misogynistic. Few here know men who’d qualify, I hope.

deluxeducks · 17/12/2025 20:43

Is his grandfather your own dad, or is there 'toxic masculinity' on your side of the family and now you're afraid the other side is the same way?

If the person with the raised eyebrow is from your own family, it will hardly have come as a shock that he'd rather not see his grandson dressed in pink. Obviously there's nothing wrong with the occasional pink item of clothing, but don't be surprised if people assume your son is a girl as a result.

Personally, I'd probably not choose lots of pink for a baby boy, because it feels as much of a statement as only dressing him in blue or insisting he play with overtly 'masculine' toys. It sounds like you'll be facing some issues with your family that are worse than a raised eyebrow. Totally up to you how you want to deal with it. I'd just roll my eyes, but I also wouldn't bother trying to argue about it.

Unicornsatonalilo · 17/12/2025 21:07

Years ago,I was a skint single parent with 3 babies

Girl then two boys

She wore blue and id often put the lads in pink baby gros for bed (their sisters old stuff-all immaculate as babies grow so fast)

My family found out and went apeshit-apparently they'd grow up gay/pedophiles just because they'd worn a pale pink babygro

You can imagine the meltdown when I bought the lads a tiara each and a baby/buggy (and when I put their sisters old tights on them under their trousers instead of socks)

They where told to stay in their lane-my babies,my choice,my money-i wasn't spending money i didnt have for stuff they already had (just in the 'wrong' colour') and I certainly wasn't going to force them to play with the 'right' toys

They where not going to spend their own money on the 'right' items and I would dress them how I saw fit

All grew up and none have grown up gay (and it wouldn't have mattered if they where) and none have abused children

Your baby,your rules and boys look amazing in pink-my younger ds really suited it

CatCaretaker · 17/12/2025 21:10

Other way around, but someone implied that I was weird for putting a blue blanket on my newborn the day she was born.

The hospital had wrapped her in it, and they only have blue blankets.

i did buy blue blankets for her for home too, because it's just a colour!

CombatBarbie · 17/12/2025 21:12

I know 3 adult men who wear pink polo's regularly.

I did laugh at "thats a bit unusual...."

1Messycoo · 17/12/2025 21:35

Social history is that Pknk
was for boys and blue was
for girls . It changed when Queen Mary left the hospital in London and didn’t want to
reveal The sex of the new baby and to throw reporters off the scent she dressed her baby in blue and it was reported in the press she had had a girl, Yet she hadn’t From then on it became fashionable to dress
girls in pink and boys in blue .