Neighbors commenting on weight

[nosleepforme]

I’m pregnant in my last trimester. Unless you know I’m pregnant, it looks like I’ve just put a bit of weight on my belly (I’m always like this). In the last trimester, my weight always shifts, not so that you can tell, but I look slimmer on my sides and it’s more concentrated on the centre of my belly so I look like I’ve lost weight. I still do not look pregnant.

anyway, i have a neighbour that I talk to about once a year. I don’t even know her first name. Not friendly at all but would say “hi” if I passed her in the street. She happens to carry huge and gave birth a month ago.
i passed her up the road, she was on her phone and screamed to me “hey, you’ve lost weight!” Um… I found that so rude and wasn’t exactly going to share my news so I just said “ok”. Then she said “I mean that now you look good”. I said thanks and kept walking.

shes not the first person to comment on my pregnancy weight. Someone commented so badly and made it into a huge discussion and made me feel so uncomfortable that I cried and felt uncomfortable eating for a couple of weeks.
for reference, I fit into size medium clothes right now. Maybe size 42 European. I’m not wearing maternity as it’s just so unnecessary, i haven’t really got a bump. I don’t look fat, just not my usual self.

yabu - anyone can comment on your weight
yanbu - why do ppl comment on others weight still?!

Someone commented so badly and made it into a huge discussion and made me feel so uncomfortable that I cried and felt uncomfortable eating for a couple of weeks.

of course people are rude to comment on your weight but taking it to heart so much that you felt uncomfortable eating for weeks after a thoughtless idiotic said something ridiculous not knowing you were pregnant is one hell of an extreme reaction!
Do you generally have self esteem issues or an out of the ordinary worry about your size?

Your YABU choice doesn't make sense because of course anyone can comment on your size, they shouldn't because it's rude but they still can and some always will.

The only thing you can control is your reaction to it and crying and feeling uncomfortable eating for weeks, is rather extreme.

It's just pregnancy weight, it comes and it goes.

I suspect that regardless of what you think you look like, others can tell you look pregnant.

This takes me back to my twin pregnancy when some teenagers chanted at me "Who ate all the pies?!" and some random bloke asked me if I was sure I wasn't expecting triplets.
People can be insensitive fuckwits.

No one should comment on your weight, but in real life people do. The fact that someone did and you cried and didn't eat for two weeks is a really extreme reaction and not normal

This person knew I was pregnant!

No, you can’t tell. I just told family yesterday and they were in shock, none of them could tell. (Not close family, that’s why I didn’t tell them before.)

Well they were rude but your reaction is completely over the top.

It’s no excuse whatsoever for you to feel uncomfortable to eat for weeks though. That’s a very strange reaction, especially when pregnant. Sounds like you have some deep rooted body issues tbh

I think you might benefit from some counselling to address your body image issues. Avoiding eating for weeks while pregnant because of one random insensitive but not nasty comment is very extreme. It sounds like an eating disorder or the beginnings of one.

People will comment when then think you’ve lost weight because they think it is a compliment. As others have said, your reactions seem very extreme, and that is no5 your neighbour’s fault.

"Do you always make personal remarks about people you scarcely know? Did your parents not teach you any social skills my dear/sonny?!

Delivered in crushing "teacher" tone.

Think about it this way. If you didn’t know what pregnancy was and saw the expansion of the human body in a similar way over 9 months you might comment.

you may not look pregnant, but your body is changing drastically over a short space of time. It’s normal.

most people would say, I’m pregnant and keep it moving.

you know you are pregnant, so why are you taking it to heart and letting it stop you from eating? Your baby needs food. Try and be a bit logical about it.

Some people just do not have the capability to filter their thoughts before opening their big mouths.

Don't worry about it OP, I find most people who think it's OK to randomly comment on someone else's weight are actually just deeply insecure about their own bodies. If anyone else takes it upon themselves to comment on your body, hit them with a "And I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?" 🤣

I don't know why you're getting these replies - crying/having extreme reactions is so common in pregnancy it's almost mundane, and you didn't say you didn't eat for weeks, you just said you felt uncomfortable.

Your neighbour was an arsehole and a swift "what's it got to do with you?" would have been my choice.

I hate when people comment on a pregnant woman's weight. Anyone's weight tbh, but especially a pregnant woman. Like you don't have enough to worry about!

Anyway, ignore her, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy 😊

Her comment was likely a reflection on how she feels - sounds like she gains a lot of weight during pregnancy. She's given you what she thinks is a compliment - likely one she'd like to receive.

I'm very much like you and I really struggle with comments on my weight.

At around 8.5 months in I had a 'wellness' person trying to sell me weight loss supplements at a work professional meeting where I was one of the speakers. I was gobsmacked and and I assume she couldn't see I was pregnant.