About my 3 year old - nursery concerned

[christmasoutside]

I was just looking for some advice really on my 3 year old.

He is at preschool and the the teachers have told me they think he seems tired and pale. He is quite pale in general btw.

anyway, I’m not really seeing much difference in his behaviour at home. He just seems to have become a bit more sulky recently and slightly more quiet, when he’s upset about something. He’s become a bit more shy too. He’s just a bit more shy around strangers / extended family than he used to be. He’s a bit more serious, is the only way to put it.

he is eating and drinking fine, toilet fine etc. he’s not lying around tired at home. He’s active and never stops moving. He’s had low level colds and coughs on and off, but nothing severe and less than previous years.

I took him to the GP to see if they could do a blood test, as this is what school suggested and GP said at this point not really necessary.

like I said, at home, I am not noticing tiredness, but I’m noticing a slight change in personality.

he also doesn’t want to go to school in general a lot of the time and wants to stay home with me.

I know it’s hard to give advice, but should I push for a blood test ? Or is it because he just wants to stay with mummy ? I asked him why he doesn’t like school and he says because he wants to be with mummy and misses me. He said he likes his teachers and friends, but wants to be at home with me.

he is going in 5 days a week. He has been going in 5 days a week on and off for the last year. Sometimes he was doing 3 or 4 and the also 5 days, depending on my work schedule. I’m looking to step back from working full time and just sending him 3 days a week anyway. But yeah I am just a bit concerned about him.

My son only went to nursery for a few months, so please excuse me if I'm asking a stupid question!

But does the level of activity, play and nursery work increase per year? Could it be he's just more tired than usual if that's the case?

I don’t think particularly increase from last year tbh. They’re still doing the same things.

Have you noticed him be like this before this particular time? For example, does it happen on the run up to other holidays as well?

Is his routine consistent? You mention going in on and off for 5 days, how long has it been stable?

At 3 they tend to move up towards pre-school rather than nursery, so there's an introduction of things like circle time and gentle learning activities, which may mean he's a bit more mentally tired (rather than physically).

It could just be the lead up to Christmas being exciting.

It could be the new development of social skills, meaning he's a bit more reserved.

Lots of things to explore before any tests necessary. A good multi vitamin, maybe introducing some quiet time at home, consistent routine with clear expectations, maybe moving bedtime a bit earlier etc...

He’s been going in for 5 days a week since the beginning of this year. He had the summer off nursery.

when I was saying he’s done 3.4 and 5 days, I meant since ever starting nursery at 18 months.

Sorry to hear you're struggling with this. Did the school say why they thought he should have a blood test? Seems odd.
Could he just be tired - I know we all are due to low level light and rubbish weather at this time of the year.

If your GP has said no need for a blood test, then leave it at that for now, they'll tell you if it's necessary. I still remember taking my DS for a blood test when he was 4. It was awful. Took me and two nurses to hold him down. I still remember it now, 10 years later.

Yeah I honestly don’t want to do a blood test either. My daughter has had to have a couple and it’s so traumatic and she’s older.

I just don’t want to miss anything. But surely if he was very unwell, I would see him just being exhausted at home too and I’m not seeing that. He is a bit more serious, but still very upbeat. Maybe he’s just growing up. He will be 4 in May.

Does he eat a varied diet and/or take a multivitamin? Pale/tired could mean a nutritional deficiency. If he seems ok at home he might just be finding nursery a bit overwhelming. If you’ve seen a GP and they are not concerned then I’d just monitor and go back if you have any further concerns.

I’m thinking a vitamin/mineral/iron deficiency. What’s his diet like?

I would push for a blood test. My eldest was exactly the same at that age and he turned out to be anaemic.

His diet is OK. He has plenty of fruit and loves steak and meatballs and that kind of stuff. I just try to focus on things he likes to eat. Sometimes he can be picky.

he has a multi vitamin. Although I only recently restarted it. He used to have it all the time but I stopped during summer.

Is his gum colour good?

Or he's just tired and run down - ready for a break.

Assuming he has a week or two off nursery over Christmas, where he can rest and reset, I would wait and re-assess then.

I know I'm tired and ready for a break - as are my two (much older) kids.

I often think all the stuff they do for Christmas at nurseries and primary school can be a bit much, pushing all the kids out of routine.

Does he snore? DS1 was a bit like this and it turned out that he had massive tonsils and adenoids. I couldn't believe the difference in his energy levels after surgery. I would have said he was a good sleeper as he was sleeping throughout while he was snoring, but clearly his sleep was very disrupted.

I don’t know. I’ve never checked and wouldn’t know what’s normal and what isn’t. But will check today.

Yes he does snore ! And even at rest, he has been breathing so loudly, I feel like he’s snoring.

I’ve taken him to an ENT before as he used to have recurring tonsillitis / ear infections and they said that his tonsils are quite big and he probably has big adenoids as well because of that.

his tonsillitis and ear infection spells have reduced a lot so I haven’t him back there.

his breathing is very loud. He’s had a little cold on and off, I thought maybe that’s why. But yes, there’s something going on in that area. The other day I was sitting next to him and I thought he was asleep, because it sounded like he was snoring, but he wasn’t…

sorry to do the ‘crunchy mum’ thing but a lot of vitamins are poorly absorbed, especially gummies. A lot of children’s’ diets now lack oily fish, leafy green vegetables, pulses and nuts/seeds - they’re fruit and red meat heavy. Sorry I’m not criticising at all and God knows it’s hard to keep on top of everything as mum, but could he be lacking in these?

It’s winter- they won’t be outside as much. Are you tired at this time of year? Remember his day at nursery is longer than your day at work!
Also, with him being older, there will be more expectation of responsible behaviour (age related, obviously!).
He’s ready for a break- we all are.

Try a children’s vit D supplement.

If he looks pale, maybe use some Iron supplements, they're in gummies or liquid form, and give a double dose along with some Vitamin C, cause I doubt they're absorbed fully.

Sleep apnea? Video him sleeping for a good hour.

I remember my children looking paler in the winter and I've worked in a nursery where some of the children seemed to have darker circles under their eyes at this time of year, but otherwise seemed pretty active.
I think he would be tired when he got home from nursery if the day had wiped him out that much, but you say he's active so that's a good sign. Some children become shyer around this age as they are becoming more self aware the older they get.

What is his sleep like?

A lot of kids - and adults - become a bit run down this time of year. More time indoors, less fresh air and sunlight, lack of vitamin d, passing around all the coughs and colds and bugs.

well, he seems full of beans tonight ! His usual self entirely. I started giving him multi vitamins again a couple of weeks ago, maybe they’ve kicked in.

it isn’t that he hasn’t had energy, he’s just seemed more serious and shyer and like he doesn’t bounce back as quickly when he feels sad.

for example his grandparents came to visit this weekend and he just went quiet when they left and when I would ask what’s wrong, he’d just at the window and I would say is it because you’re sad they’re gone and he’d say ‘ yes ‘. He just seemed to sulk a bit. Whereas before he might actually cry and then be over it quicker.

or we had some other relatives visiting the next day, who gave some presents and two of the kids had a camera but he got something else. He went quiet and then said he wants a camera too. It’s that going quiet that he wouldn’t usually do as much.

this all started when I had an intense work month and barely saw the children during the week as I was getting home late. I’ve stopped that now as it wasn’t appropriate and they were sad and so was I.

Knackered cos it's winter???

Is he thirsty, or weeing more?