to think most people are just flying by the seat of their pants in life?

[bartape]

When younger I thought other people, older people, confident people and just anyone other then myself had it all figured out, knew what they were doing and that I was the only clueless idiot. Now over the years many of those people I thought of as "sorted" have shown their own foolishness time and time again and I realised that everyone is winging it. Some are self aggrandising, some are realistic and just put their best foot forward, some jump on the bandwagon, some do their own thing, some make it work, some fail most of us do a bit of both.

None of this is a condemnation of anyone and its a case of myself being very much included but am I being unreasonable to think that we're all just kind of white knuckling it though life?

I agree. I worked in public sector, when I joined I was in awe of those in the ranks above me. As I rose up myself I leaned that everyone , like me was pretty much winging it.

Absolutely daily!

Hell yes. Everyone I know closely enough to tell me about their real lives feels in a mess, even the ones who seem to have it together.

A lot is luck, you can plan but there are so many things that can derail your plans.

I think the key is to figure out your core needs and desires. It's quite easy to see with other people - it's the difference between what they say they value and what they actually do. Seems much harder to figure out yourself, this may be where counselling or a very honest friend comes in..

I’ve worked my way up into management . I’m now jealous of those care free years as a retail assistant with no shits to give

I have also realised this recently. The people at the top are just better at talking the talk but don’t have it any more figured out than the rest of us!

Well, yeah, of course they are.

I’m in my late 40s, a well educated and dare I even say respected professional in my field, with a sorted life. Yet I don’t feel any more together than when I was 21 to be honest. I’m still largely bodging it.

I used to think the senior people in my profession were like gods and knew exactly what to do, all the time. As I’ve got more experienced I’ve realised that they’re all wracked with the same anxiety as I am, and that we’re all largely winging it.

The key thing is having the ability to keep it together and inspire confidence when, in reality, you often haven’t got a clue.

100% I remember commenting to my dad when I turned 30 "I used to think 30 was so old, but I definitely don't feel like a grown up" and he said "Nobody does, there's no such thing!"