To tell them their baby name options aren’t great?

[Ellase]

I can be fairly confident DS and DIL don’t use Mumsnet so I’m prepared to take a risk and post this.

DS and his wife are expecting their first baby, all very exciting, a little girl. Tonight they came over and we were chatting names and they told me what their two front runners are, and well they aren’t inherently awful, but they are diminutives that aren’t well established as names in their own right (so we aren’t talking Milly or Rosie which are now fully fledged names). I asked if they were planning to use a longer name too and was told absolutely not. This worries as I feel their child won’t much appreciate having a name that is not well established, sounds a bit off (I don’t know how to explain better than that), and could easily have a longer name that would provide more optionality however they choose to live their life.

Should I cautiously mention it or just bite my tongue? We have a very positive relationship generally and they tend to be open to advice.

Both awful names, but its not your baby and not your business, sorry OP.

Of course it's OP's business. It's her grandchild, she's entitled to worry about the kid being bullied and laughed at at school or being held back career-wise.

It's so difficult but I agree with the majority that saying nothing is best. Tiggi is the worse of the two; Gigi whilst not my taste at least doesn't sound like a cat.

I have a neighbour who called her baby girl Ada... Trying to be unique not wanting to use Ayda and then complaining when friends asked to clarify pronunciation.

It's like that awful trend about 7-10 years ago where every girl name was name-mae; name-grace; name-rose and sounding like an extra in a bad country and western movie

Inside thoughts 😂😂

I was going to say YABU and then I read the name choices good god what are they thinking they are signing their daughter up for a lifetime of ridicule if they choose the name Tiggi.

She can have an opinion but she needs to remember that is all it is .....her opinion and she absolutely should not voice.
She is not entitled to interfere in two adult's decision to use a name they like.

My MIL who happens to think she is an authority on everything decided to inform me that she didn't like my daughter's name. I happen to think the names she gave her own children are awful but I didn't feel the need to share this with her.

Tiggy - spelled with a y - isn’t for me but I don’t hate it. Gigi also isn’t revolting.

Honestly it could be much worse. I do quite like Tig as a diminutive of Tiggi/Tiggy. It’s strong and confident and can play really feminine or masculine so whatever type of human she grows up to be, her name can stretch to accommodate. Steer them to Tiggy with a y.

Ada is the more common spelling surely? Ayda is (usually) pronounced Ida.

OP I would bite your tongue as things may change when the baby arrives. Neither name is awful although Tiggy is the conventional spelling and is usually posh so unlikely to hurt career wise.

Surprisingly I think they’re both fine, and I’m really conservative with names

you have to realise that people will assume that’s their diminutive and they have a longer name they don’t use. So they won’t automatically think there’s something ‘wrong’ with it

like Tiggy (Legge-Bourke) is I think Tabitha, and Gigi is probably Geraldine or something

I also like both names which is again weird for me

I've only know Ada spelled Ada.

The other version Ayda looks made up.

Sorry I haven’t RTFT so perhaps this has been addressed. I completely agree with you that we share our true feelings and opinions as part of meaningful relationships. No one is suggesting applying this principle to every decision OP’s adult children make.

But baby names are a category of their own. If someone asks ‘please tell me your honest opinion’ = fair game. But usually they don’t.

It’s a very personal taste thing and also a very precious and serious decision for impending parents to make, not to be messed with. They will sense when people are hugely positive about names and when they just smile politely - that’s enough. Unless op wants to make it about her, which is not a good look, especially as MIL.

There were a lot of girls named Ada in my Mum and Grandmother’s generations, and the few generations before them - I’ve never seen it spelled Ayda though.

I think you might be mistaken about the normal spelling.

What makes you think you know better than two other adults what makes a good name? It’s not your child. Why do you imagine your opinion on what it should be called is superior to that of its actual parents?

These are all just personal opinions and therefore your advice isn’t any more relevant than it would if you told them they shouldn’t paint their living room in their favourite colour because you think your favourite colour is nicer.

Tiggy Legge Bourke’s name is Alexandra.

AI overview doesn’t know why she’s known as Tiggy but it sounds like a boarding school nickname to me and may not have a real reason behind it.

I agree that the names are pretty awful but that no good at all would come of you saying anything. I'm sorry! You'll get used to the name. When you say they don't want a longer one, does that include middle names?

Ada is the usual spelling of the name in the UK. Check out Ada Lovelace (or Ada Shelby 😊).

When I was learning French at school many years ago, we were all given French names on day one. Mine was Gigi, which I loathed at first but grew to love. There are much worse names. Tiggy’s one of them, imho, but you’d get used to it. And of course the main thing is, it’s not your child, so yes, you’d definitely be well advised to bite your tongue.

Mine was Clothilde!

I hated learning French but I still like that name.

Absolutely, definitely say nothing. Their child, their choice. You had the opportunity to name your children , give them theirs now.
They wont thank you and it wont alter their opinion .
I like Gigi and it is becoming more popular. I always think of tabby cats and uber posh people trying to sound cool when I hear the name Tiggy but it's their choice and won’t effect the child’s life in any significant way.

Hardly a leap from geegee to gee gee is it?

Excellent and very well made point.

Can't imagine how anyone thinks such silly noises are acceptable "names" for anything other than a budgie or a tortoise.

But if they can't see that, no amount of persuasion is likely to help.

100% this.

unless asked directly I wouldn’t share your opinion on this. They probably already know you’re not thrilled by it by your reaction (unless you’re a good actress) which is fine. You don’t have to love it but you don’t have to share that you don’t love it. And when the baby is here it will be your gorgeous dgc and you wont care what their name is as long as they’re happy and healthy.

Having your first child is an exciting time but also a vulnerable one. Your daughter in law will learn soon enough that everyone has an opinion on everything she does and it’s hard to feel like you’re getting anything right. Respectfully you’ve had your children and made your choices, let them do the same. Parents and parents in law unless asked specifically otherwise are supporting characters, not main characters when it comes to dgc.

There’s no guarantee they will use either of those names when baby is here.

My MIL decided to tell me my dc was “horrible” on their first visit to meet them at the hospital when they were about 6hrs old. It took me about 6 months to not be livid about it lol

the worst naming practice is naming your children one thing but calling them something else. If they are going to use a short name in practice, that is what they should put on the birth certificate

Come on, tell us your birth name! I'm intrigued

I think Tiggì sounds Nordic

The Gigi I knew was Ghislaine. Not ‘that one’ but that would be a good reason to dissuade……