How long for your partner to come round

outrageouslyoutraged · 2025-12-15T20:40:41+00:00

For those who found themselves with surprise babies, how long did it take your partners to come round if they weren't onboard at the start? Days, weeks or did it never happen?

Alicorn1707 · 15/12/2025 20:42

@outrageouslyoutraged just wondering, why would you even want him to?

DaisyChain505 · 15/12/2025 20:47

It’s pointless asking this as every case is individual.

Youll have some people say their partner came round quickly, some say they came round eventually, some who said their partner claimed to accept it but then it was proven after the baby was born they actually hadn’t and some who never accepted it at all and walked away for good.

Condensationon · 15/12/2025 20:48

That so depends on the whole
context and it’s impossible to say.

Original poster

outrageouslyoutraged · 15/12/2025 20:55

Condensationon · 15/12/2025 20:48

That so depends on the whole
context and it’s impossible to say.

That's why Ive asked for some examples, rather than a "the situation is x, how long will it take". No one can answer on a particular situation, but you can get an idea of where that situation sits within the realms of typical behaviours.

OP posts:

blankcanvas3 · 15/12/2025 20:56

A couple of weeks but he was 18 and I was 16 so it was all quite shocking. I think once I had decided I was definitely going to keep the baby he accepted it all. He’s a brilliant dad and neither of us regret a thing even though it was stressful at the time

Lmnop22 · 15/12/2025 20:56

Whatever their view is, it’s valid. If this baby was not planned, why is the expectation on your partner to “come round” to your way of thinking? They have an equal say and choice in things and you need to listen and communicate and not make unilateral decisions without talking things over first.

Original poster

outrageouslyoutraged · 15/12/2025 20:57

Alicorn1707 · 15/12/2025 20:42

@outrageouslyoutraged just wondering, why would you even want him to?

Well many women are often confused when they first find out, and it takes them a little while to decide what they want to do. Its only normal the same happens for the man and they take time to decide too.

OP posts:

Bestwishes23 · 15/12/2025 21:08

My ex-DP never did. I grew up, he didn't and we split when DS was a baby. He's as useless and adolescent-minded as he was 8 years ago. He goes as far as to tell DS that he didn't want children, and the questions from DS have been difficult to answer in a gentle and age-appropriate way. However, I'm sure there's people out there who have become fantastic parents and partners in the long run.

I hope you have a resolution you're happy with.

Alicorn1707 · 15/12/2025 21:22

outrageouslyoutraged · 15/12/2025 20:57

Well many women are often confused when they first find out, and it takes them a little while to decide what they want to do. Its only normal the same happens for the man and they take time to decide too.

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You really want him to "come round" then?

He's already shown you who he is though @outrageouslyoutraged hasn't he?

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 15/12/2025 21:24

Very quickly here, as soon as he knew we were keeping the baby. Excitement grew when we found out we were expecting little girl(s)

DaisyChain505 · 15/12/2025 21:44

outrageouslyoutraged · 15/12/2025 20:57

Well many women are often confused when they first find out, and it takes them a little while to decide what they want to do. Its only normal the same happens for the man and they take time to decide too.

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Either way you shouldn’t be basing your decision on if you’re going to continue with this pregnancy based on his opinion.

You need to be making the decision to follow through with this or not based on if you are willing to do this solo because even if he says he’s come round to the idea he could change his mind further down the line.

Amba1998 · 15/12/2025 21:45

My husband never did until he was besotted when he laid eyes on the baby! But pregnancy no it was just like he could never imagine it / never connect

Original poster

outrageouslyoutraged · 15/12/2025 21:48

DaisyChain505 · 15/12/2025 21:44

Either way you shouldn’t be basing your decision on if you’re going to continue with this pregnancy based on his opinion.

You need to be making the decision to follow through with this or not based on if you are willing to do this solo because even if he says he’s come round to the idea he could change his mind further down the line.

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I'm not.

OP posts:

Tammygirl12 · 15/12/2025 21:49

Baby 1 was unplanned, he was happy from the first moment he knew the news. Baby 3 unplanned took him about a month to come round to the idea

Anonanonanonagain · 15/12/2025 22:51

5 years, he broke up with me the day we found out and did not see him for the 5 years till he accepted it. He has since seen them maybe 12 times over the last 10 years since.