Well the good thing is that you can afford to pay the rent, and presumably the bills from what you've already said. So tell him, the marriage is over, and that you want him to find somewhere else to live, as it is unfair on the children to have to move them out of the marital home, when it's so close to their schools, etc.
Are all the children his OP, only I notice you say you've been married for over ten years, but have an eleven year old? Just to be clear, I'm NOT accusing you in the way that he does, just wondered if their are any other parents in the mix at all.
In the back of my mind, having read your post, I felt sure that I'd read somewhere, that the 'silent treatment is abuse, and so decided to check with Google, this is the answer I got:
'When Silence Becomes Abuse
Silence in a marriage becomes abusive when it is part of a pattern of behaviour designed to exert power and control over a partner. Key indicators that the silent treatment is abusive include:
- Intent to punish: The goal is to make the other person feel guilty, hurt, or make them "pay" for something they did.
- Prolonged duration: The silence lasts for days or even weeks, beyond a reasonable "cooling down" period.
- Manipulation: The silence is used to pressure the victim into apologising, changing their behaviour, or giving in to demands to restore communication.
- Power imbalance: The person using the silent treatment dictates when, how, and if communication resumes, leaving the other partner feeling powerless and helpless.
- Emotional invalidation: It makes the victim question their own feelings, perceptions, and sanity (a form of gaslighting).
- Withholding affection/attention: It involves a refusal to acknowledge the partner's presence, including avoiding eye contact or physical touch, as a form of rejection.
The Impact of Abusive Silence
The psychological impact on the person on the receiving end can be severe, causing feelings of:
- Anxiety and fear
- Low self-esteem and self-doubt
- Loneliness and isolation
- Depression
Research indicates that being ignored or socially excluded activates the same area of the brain that is associated with physical pain. '
If this is what life is like for you OP, then 'In the UK, you can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free, 24/7 on 0808 2000 247' and ask for help.
I suggest that you do this, as I dare say, from what you've said about suffering a 4 day silence because you commented that the baby's milk needed to be warmed up, that this is not the first time you've suffered the silent treatment. At the end of the day, it doesn't sound like you have anything to lose by calling for advise, and maybe a lot to gain. Either way, you can't go on like this, it's not fair on you, or your children, as I know only too well, having been raised under very similar circumstances. Sadly my poor Mum couldn't walk away, as in those days, there wasn't the support that we women have today, and so she suffered many, many years of bullying, silent treatment, and living in misery, and we lived it with her. We don't have to do that any more OP, so please get some help, and put an end to this.