I was in the wrong but does it excuse this retaliation?

Badsanta12 · 2025-12-15T19:01:52+00:00

Driving home today, I come across a car that has pulled out in front of me and proceeds to drive ridiculously slowly, braking all over the place (on a road with a 50 mph limit). He slowed down completely to turn off but then didn’t, so I overtook him and beeped, which I know I shouldn’t have done. I was a few miles from home at the point and noticed the car was still behind me, he had now sped up a lot and was non stop beeping and flashing his lights back at me, he then followed me into my road and onto my driveway, got out of the car and came over to start shouting at me. I wasn’t really sure what to do so I got out and apologised, I am 40 weeks pregnant and at this point he seemed to back down a bit, he got back in his car drove off but it took him a while whilst I awkwardly stood there as my driveway is quite tight. I’m really worried now that he knows where I live although my DH says hopefully he’s feeling worse about it than me. It’s really upset me, I have been shaky and teary all afternoon. I know I was in the wrong but is it an excuse to follow someone home to intimidate them? I wouldn’t have driven into my house if I had thought he was going to shout at me, I only realised he was still behind when I was already pulling in. I was having braxton hicks, desperate for the toilet and not in any mood to be driving for ages trying to lose him!

Bobiverse · 15/12/2025 19:05

It sounds like he was lost, so was slowing and checking the turns to find the right one. That’s why he sped up when you overtook and beeped; he stopped looking for wherever he was trying to find and just followed you, in order to do exactly what he did. Intimated and threaten and all of that. I’d have got his license and reported him. He was entirely wrong.

But take it as a lesson to have patience on the road, and if you do overtake then do it safely and without intimidation (which beeping your horn is).

whentwilightfalls · 15/12/2025 19:07

It’s really poor visibility here and I actually don’t think you were especially in the wrong. Beeping the horn to remind a driver that they are impacting on others is an acceptable use of it to me. That must have been a horrible experience.

Original poster

Badsanta12 · 15/12/2025 19:10

Bobiverse · 15/12/2025 19:05

It sounds like he was lost, so was slowing and checking the turns to find the right one. That’s why he sped up when you overtook and beeped; he stopped looking for wherever he was trying to find and just followed you, in order to do exactly what he did. Intimated and threaten and all of that. I’d have got his license and reported him. He was entirely wrong.

But take it as a lesson to have patience on the road, and if you do overtake then do it safely and without intimidation (which beeping your horn is).

I agree he might have been lost although I followed him for about 5 miles with a huge queue also behind us, it wasn’t an unsafe place to overtake. It’s a clear straight A road but I know I shouldn’t have beeped at him.

OP posts:

TeenLifeMum · 15/12/2025 19:11

I’d have taken his plate and called the police. He was driving irresponsibly and you passing him and being was too alert him (I’d guess he was using his mobile texting from your description). Him following you home is an aggressive and threatening move.

Bobiverse · 15/12/2025 19:13

whentwilightfalls · 15/12/2025 19:07

It’s really poor visibility here and I actually don’t think you were especially in the wrong. Beeping the horn to remind a driver that they are impacting on others is an acceptable use of it to me. That must have been a horrible experience.

Read the Highway Code. No, it isn’t. That’s just frustration and leads to road rage incidents. As OP found out and was lucky the guy didn’t do anything worse.

You never know what unhinged person is behind the wheel so don’t do that.

ThatCyanJoker · 15/12/2025 19:13

You were most definitely being unreasonable! I’m so sick of agitated drivers speeding up behind , good on the bloke for at least making you reflect on this. We have all been in a hurry to get home…Chill darling, the boot may be on the other foot one day. Oh, and just because the speed limit is 50, that doesn’t make it a target - maybe road conditions etc made that driver feel the need to go more slowly, or he may have been lost as someone else has said.

NorfolkandBad · 15/12/2025 19:18

ThatCyanJoker · 15/12/2025 19:13

You were most definitely being unreasonable! I’m so sick of agitated drivers speeding up behind , good on the bloke for at least making you reflect on this. We have all been in a hurry to get home…Chill darling, the boot may be on the other foot one day. Oh, and just because the speed limit is 50, that doesn’t make it a target - maybe road conditions etc made that driver feel the need to go more slowly, or he may have been lost as someone else has said.

The OP states the driver pulled out in front of her - reading the post often helps.

"Good on the bloke" - maybe one day you'll get a potential psycho following you home, then you can come back on here and say how you invited them in for a cup of tea and to discuss your driving.

SnippySnappy · 15/12/2025 19:23

No, it doesn't excuse you being followed home. I'd report it to the police.

ErrolTheDragon · 15/12/2025 19:24

Tbh it sounds as though he was driving so erratically and without paying attention to other road users that a beep of your horn was actually quite appropriate.

What he then did afterwards was 100% wrong.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been drinking, but maybe he’s just normally an arrogant arsehole.

GreenCandleWax · 15/12/2025 19:31

ThatCyanJoker · 15/12/2025 19:13

You were most definitely being unreasonable! I’m so sick of agitated drivers speeding up behind , good on the bloke for at least making you reflect on this. We have all been in a hurry to get home…Chill darling, the boot may be on the other foot one day. Oh, and just because the speed limit is 50, that doesn’t make it a target - maybe road conditions etc made that driver feel the need to go more slowly, or he may have been lost as someone else has said.

But he then went out of his way presumably for five miles, intimidating OP by driving too close, beeping and flashing lights, and actually pulled on to her drive and shouted at her, intimidating her further on her own property - and you call HER unreasonable!
Seriously I wonder at the men-can-do-no-wrong attitude of some women on MN.

livelovelough24 · 15/12/2025 23:00

I cannot believe that some people are defending his behaviour. He is obviously unhinged and what he did was creepy. I would have definitely taken down his licence plate and reported him to the police.