To think we’ve normalised overstimulation and under-discipline?

[CalmByChoice]

Everyone seems constantly “burnt out,” “overwhelmed,” “done,” etc. At the same time, nobody seems willing to remove overstimulation, enforce routines or build discipline.

AIBU to think the problem isn’t the world, it’s our limits being too loose?

When you pass, presumably

Too much of everything, everywhere, all the time… hard to escape it

Yes, I think this is very true.
There’s also a certain sort of self discipline demanded of both children and adults due to the fact that a certain type of misplaced joke or comment can destroy you- there’s no forgiveness in a world of internet shaming. (Thinking of the recent case of the Marlborough teacher who killed himself after being sacked for inappropriate comments without even being told exactly what he had said. Obviously this sucks for teachers, but also what sort of environment does it create for kids to grow up in when they see this happening?)

I'm mid 60's. I think the overriding sense of how I felt as a child was bored. Bored at school if I'd finished my sums and Janice on the next table was still cranking her way through them. Bored visiting grandparents and having to behave nicely and listen to the radiogram (the only good thing was the Sound of Music LP). Going for a very boring walk into the hills. Bored at home - but woe betide me if I complained about it because there would be some task assigned, tidying the garage or weeding in the garden, or helping with the washing (in an old fashioned twin tub).

TV was boring because there were 2 channels (and ITV wasn't encouraged because it had adverts!). The TV was on for a specific programme, then it was switched off again.

But I think that being bored also helped my creativity. My siblings and I invented games to play, we spent hours with a pin pricking out holes to make stamps for our pretend postoffice. And the same making workbooks for our pretend school - always more time in the preparation than in playing the actual event. We made up plays to perform. We made 'perfume' from the roses in the garden.

My Mum worked in a hospital, so she was working and mothering and being a wife and a community activist - I have no doubt she felt exhausted and burnt out. But some elements were more straight forward. Kids out to play on the street and not needing supervision; fewer choices for everything and lower expectations; simpler food - everyone ate the same thing at the same time, and the menu plan for each week would be roughly similar (roast on Sunday, cold meat and salad on a Monday, some kind of shepherd's pie or casserole on a Tuesday [all from left overs of the Sunday roast], maccaroni cheese, or chaluflower cheese (or pasta and tomato sauce) on Wednesday, sausages on Thursday, fish on Friday... In those days maccaroni cheese was a complete dish not a side.

There were no 'guidelines' about eating 5 a day, or 30 different plant based foods every week. So if all we ate throughout the winter was turnip, cabbage, carrot and apple, then Mum didn't panic that she had stunted our growth or given us a less than optimal diet.

Interestingly I was very bored as a child too (all my memories are about just… looking for something to do) but I didn’t manage to find a creative solution to keep myself busy. I was just bored and very resentful of it

I used to read trashy novels set in American high schools and be so jealous of the cheerleading team, swim team, school newspaper club etc they described- we had nothing at my school, maybe after school netball for a few terms and if you were lucky in the 80s you might get to go to dance school on Saturday mornings. That was it.

well thats good news!!

Sounds an idyllic life but unfortunately I have to work and my kids have to go to after school clubs (and they enjoy them).