Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit ·
15/12/2025 00:23
I’m an Adolescents Team Social Worker, previously Family Safeguarding Team ( in both instances working with Child Protection plans ) and also have been a respite foster carer for my DB and SIL who are foster carers and for a brief time an emergency placement foster carer (crisis-emergency removal) and a bridging foster carer (before children are found long term placements/adopted)
Prior to this I was a teacher and a Designated Safe Guardind Lead in a ‘challenging’ secondary school.
This post is Following on from another thread where an 8 year old child with complex needs is attacking both his parents leading to serious harm and injury, and causing significant emotional harm to his siblings by being triggered by their eating noises, loud breathing, requests to parents, volume of television or devices, movements within the home and many other normal interactions.
The family feel let down by police and children’s social care as when they have been offered support it has been closed down as when asked what the family feel they really feel they need is respite.
I have seen so many threads like this.
Parents faced with these situations and professionals like me and alike know respite is like unicorn poo
So, as I asked in the thread that motivated this post (I’m posting here as no responses on the thread since I made the connect below)
Can I ask if anyone on here is considering , or knows anyone who might consider becoming a respite foster carer ?
You don’t have to commit to 7 days a week it can be on your terms. Weekends or overnights -even ad hoc depending on your other commitments. Please PM me can give loads advice or signposting if you are.
There is some financial renumeration-obviously it’s not salaried /hourly paid - your motivation needs to be largely altruistic and selfless - to a degree- but there are payments to help with costs and time- sometimes quite substantial in emergencies.
I wonder, if after the hundreds of threads I have seen on here regarding the lack of respite for the families of complex needs disabled children; and how it is well established by 1000s of posters how important this would be to them; and where the huge gaps are in the system- does anyone feel moved to sign up to at least looking into it and considering becoming a respite carer?
Has anyone gone off and done this and are now caring for vulnerable kids in their homes and providing the much needed respite support families are crying out for?
If not you do you know people who are , who’s experiences you could share ?
For those of you that are opening up your homes to care for challenging, disabled, complex, even violent children, to provide a break to their families , could you share some thoughts that might motivate others to dig deep and do the same as we in Children’s services would appreciate anyone spreading the word, offering insights, encouragement, tips, and positive stories / feedback.
Bottom line is without people like you there is no foster care - let alone respite - so if you could share some insight into your motivations and the fulfilment/reward it brings to you and your family it could be hugely helpful.
Maybe you could be the spark that makes someone else open up their heart and their home to take in a child the same way you have. To give their mum /mum and dad and siblings the chance to breathe and recoup just for a day or two.
Bottom line folks, is that in an ideal world there is a consensus is that respite should be provided - DESPITE - a lack of caring people willing to do it for selfless and altruistic reasons.
So, the alternative would be state (or private god help us ) run facilities where most likely ( absolutely likely) unskilled workers on minimum wage ( just like in many children’s homes) would be caring for highly vulnerable, disabled kids for a weekend here and there to give the family a break -but not building relationships/high staff turnover /low motivation /zero investment / frequent restraint without love and child feeling safe / lack of understanding of trauma informed practice/ complex needs (2 day workshop won’t cut it )
If we want a society where children and families are supported we need to all play our part and be part of the solution in opening up our hearts -and homes - yes our homes - training up and being part of the solution so many of you are crying out for.