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Original poster

Constant commenting on my parenting

20 replies

Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:07

We are staying seven hours away from home with MiL and her partner of six years. He has five children, estranged from some for years and three ex wives just for context. He continuously under his breath comments of my parenting and has done every time we see him, my son is now 20 months. We got here last night after a seven hour journey and my little boy was having a late for him tea, he leant over and put some food on the floor, the partner shouted NO thats horrible don’t do that, my very tired little boy started crying and the partner said is that cos I said no and I said it’s because you shouted, we also don’t let him chuck food on the floor at home or when we’re out but he is a toddler so sometimes he does things. Today there was a family gathering and the continual comments carried on, I ignored them until my son was playing with his tractor and all his books and everything were all over the place so I moved the books so he wouldn’t slip and the partner said let him explore he can’t learn if he can’t explore, I said Im just tidying up some things, a bit later we got the magic water painting book out and my son went up to his grandma who he loves and we have had a very positive time with, the partner leaned over and told me to hand him something for my son and I said I’ll see what he wants and he then got up and stormed off again and said Im going out again, he then went into the other room and sat by the door and very loudly told the people in there ‘what I had done’ he also shouted through comments about let him explore. A bit later I took my son upstairs to change him and when we came back he said oh I suddenly need another drink. Is it me or is he being a total arse, my DH has also clocked all this and has said something to one of his comments about our parenting but it is very much more aimed at me. It’s just so weird, my little boy is a very very happy, ahead of milestones little boy so it’s not like we’re doing everything wrong. We also get on really well and make a massive effort with all the other family members.

OP posts:
BowlyLarr · 14/12/2025 20:12

He sounds like a generic grump. Good that DH seems to have your back. How long do you have to stay?!

Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:12

BowlyLarr · 14/12/2025 20:12

He sounds like a generic grump. Good that DH seems to have your back. How long do you have to stay?!

well this is the thing in theory two more nights but I want to just go home tomorrow

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 14/12/2025 20:13

He sounds like a nightmare.

Everytime he comments on your parenting I'd ask after one of his children that is no contact with him. As in 'thanks for that tip Dave, I'll bear that in mind. How's Carol?' or 'That's a great point Dave, we should let him explore. Will you be seeing Andy over Christmas?'.

TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:18

Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:07

We are staying seven hours away from home with MiL and her partner of six years. He has five children, estranged from some for years and three ex wives just for context. He continuously under his breath comments of my parenting and has done every time we see him, my son is now 20 months. We got here last night after a seven hour journey and my little boy was having a late for him tea, he leant over and put some food on the floor, the partner shouted NO thats horrible don’t do that, my very tired little boy started crying and the partner said is that cos I said no and I said it’s because you shouted, we also don’t let him chuck food on the floor at home or when we’re out but he is a toddler so sometimes he does things. Today there was a family gathering and the continual comments carried on, I ignored them until my son was playing with his tractor and all his books and everything were all over the place so I moved the books so he wouldn’t slip and the partner said let him explore he can’t learn if he can’t explore, I said Im just tidying up some things, a bit later we got the magic water painting book out and my son went up to his grandma who he loves and we have had a very positive time with, the partner leaned over and told me to hand him something for my son and I said I’ll see what he wants and he then got up and stormed off again and said Im going out again, he then went into the other room and sat by the door and very loudly told the people in there ‘what I had done’ he also shouted through comments about let him explore. A bit later I took my son upstairs to change him and when we came back he said oh I suddenly need another drink. Is it me or is he being a total arse, my DH has also clocked all this and has said something to one of his comments about our parenting but it is very much more aimed at me. It’s just so weird, my little boy is a very very happy, ahead of milestones little boy so it’s not like we’re doing everything wrong. We also get on really well and make a massive effort with all the other family members.

I was with you until you said about you not doing anything ‘wrong’ because your child is meeting milestones.

Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:19

I take that I didn’t quite know how to say it’s not like we are really shit parents! But I hope you see what I mean

OP posts:
Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:21

Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:19

I take that I didn’t quite know how to say it’s not like we are really shit parents! But I hope you see what I mean

Am also on about three hours broken sleep cos my son had a terrible nights sleep and haven’t had anything to eat besides a flapjack!

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 14/12/2025 20:24

He sounds delightful. Would piss me off also.

ask him what his problem is, just get it out

TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:24

Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:21

Am also on about three hours broken sleep cos my son had a terrible nights sleep and haven’t had anything to eat besides a flapjack!

Show quote history

Sorry I think I’m just a bit sensitive because my child is autistic and I did everything I could to ensure he met milestones and some just didn’t or haven’t happened yet.

Back to your dilemma - he sounds miserable and quite bitter actually, I’m wondering if watching you be a hands on mum has triggered him because he has a poor relationship with some of his kids?

Tammygirl12 · 14/12/2025 20:27

He’s awful. Clearly a chip on his shoulder. He has completely unreasonable expectations od children. Of course your baby carried when he was shouted at. Can you go low contact - less visits at theirs and more meeting half way at a pub or something. Or shorter 24 visits. Less time for your child to be damaged by the grandmas boyfriend or husband?

Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:30

TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:24

Sorry I think I’m just a bit sensitive because my child is autistic and I did everything I could to ensure he met milestones and some just didn’t or haven’t happened yet.

Back to your dilemma - he sounds miserable and quite bitter actually, I’m wondering if watching you be a hands on mum has triggered him because he has a poor relationship with some of his kids?

Show quote history

No honestly I am so sorry I wrote that I am a SEND teacher so I absolutely know better!!! Yes that could be right about his kids, it’s just so annoying to have a constant narration of everything I am doing apparently so badly

OP posts:
EmmaOvary · 14/12/2025 20:32

OP, you’re very patient. I’d be tempted to say ‘Listen Brian, I’m not being funny but some of your kids don’t even talk to you anymore so I’m not sure you’re Parent Of The Year yourself. Do you want to maybe keep your feelings about me to yourself and I’ll do the same?’

whatcanthematterbe81 · 14/12/2025 20:34

NuffSaidSam · 14/12/2025 20:13

He sounds like a nightmare.

Everytime he comments on your parenting I'd ask after one of his children that is no contact with him. As in 'thanks for that tip Dave, I'll bear that in mind. How's Carol?' or 'That's a great point Dave, we should let him explore. Will you be seeing Andy over Christmas?'.

Pls pls do this

Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:34

Tammygirl12 · 14/12/2025 20:27

He’s awful. Clearly a chip on his shoulder. He has completely unreasonable expectations od children. Of course your baby carried when he was shouted at. Can you go low contact - less visits at theirs and more meeting half way at a pub or something. Or shorter 24 visits. Less time for your child to be damaged by the grandmas boyfriend or husband?

I think we might have to, it’s just such a shame because we see MiL so little but he is just such an arse, he was also making racist comments while we were watching Postman Pat of all things!

OP posts:
TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:35

Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:30

No honestly I am so sorry I wrote that I am a SEND teacher so I absolutely know better!!! Yes that could be right about his kids, it’s just so annoying to have a constant narration of everything I am doing apparently so badly

Show quote history

You should start narrating everything he does back 😂 ‘oops there he goes with the unsolicited advice again!’

GrillaMilla · 14/12/2025 20:35

EmmaOvary · 14/12/2025 20:32

OP, you’re very patient. I’d be tempted to say ‘Listen Brian, I’m not being funny but some of your kids don’t even talk to you anymore so I’m not sure you’re Parent Of The Year yourself. Do you want to maybe keep your feelings about me to yourself and I’ll do the same?’

God how much do I want you to say this to him.
He sounds horrible and I think a previous poster is right, he's got a chip on his shoulder.

Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:38

TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:35

You should start narrating everything he does back 😂 ‘oops there he goes with the unsolicited advice again!’

Show quote history

😂😂 oh I might try and do this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:40

EmmaOvary · 14/12/2025 20:32

OP, you’re very patient. I’d be tempted to say ‘Listen Brian, I’m not being funny but some of your kids don’t even talk to you anymore so I’m not sure you’re Parent Of The Year yourself. Do you want to maybe keep your feelings about me to yourself and I’ll do the same?’

I love this, I might need a sherry or something but I would love to say this to him!

OP posts:
Naws · 14/12/2025 20:45

TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:18

I was with you until you said about you not doing anything ‘wrong’ because your child is meeting milestones.

Show quote history

I broadly agree that the man is a twat but I bristled at 'My child put some food on the floor'.

It just makes me think the OP is a bit biased if she can't even say 'threw' or 'chucked'.

But either way, the man still sounds like an impatient twat.

TheTwitcher11 · 14/12/2025 20:47

EmmaOvary · 14/12/2025 20:32

OP, you’re very patient. I’d be tempted to say ‘Listen Brian, I’m not being funny but some of your kids don’t even talk to you anymore so I’m not sure you’re Parent Of The Year yourself. Do you want to maybe keep your feelings about me to yourself and I’ll do the same?’

Imagine! 😂😂😂 mic drop

Original poster
Emonade · 14/12/2025 20:49

Naws · 14/12/2025 20:45

I broadly agree that the man is a twat but I bristled at 'My child put some food on the floor'.

It just makes me think the OP is a bit biased if she can't even say 'threw' or 'chucked'.

But either way, the man still sounds like an impatient twat.

Show quote history

Fair point, he actually does this thing where he just opens his mouth and lets food just sort of slowly fall out so it is quite a gentle release 😂 but yes that is what he did

OP posts:
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