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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel lost in my marriage

9 replies

kiki100 · 14/12/2025 17:48

Hi

I haven’t posted in a very long time but I wanted some advise. I have lots of family and close friends, friends I have had for over 20 years but for some reason I can’t speak to them. My family would be upset if they knew I felt this way and I feel embarrassed to admit my marriage is failing. I have 2 little daughters, 1 and 5 and having 2 kids has put allot of tension in our marriage. So these are my issues. Where my husband is not abusive of violent or a cheater he’s just not very nice to me. The outside world see him and a loving, caring amazing person but to me he’s just a little cold or distant. These are the things im upset about. Anything I have an issue of and overwhelmed he practically just ignores my complaining and basically tells me to get on with it. I do allot of the child care and work but he doesn’t want to listen when I’m upset or stressed about our set up. He never plans any dates, compliments me or shows me any affection other than when he wants you know what. Most things that go wrong somehow are my fault. I’m just sick of living like this but can’t leave for obvious reasons. Am I being over the top.

OP posts:
Fairywingsandroses · 14/12/2025 17:51

The point is that you are not happy. Have you told him that?

kiki100 · 14/12/2025 17:55

Fairywingsandroses · 14/12/2025 17:51

The point is that you are not happy. Have you told him that?

I have tried, but he can’t be bothered to hear it most of the time. He has zero empathy towards me. He called me annoying when I had post natal depression and told me I ruined his summer

OP posts:
Fairywingsandroses · 14/12/2025 18:14

kiki100 · 14/12/2025 17:55

I have tried, but he can’t be bothered to hear it most of the time. He has zero empathy towards me. He called me annoying when I had post natal depression and told me I ruined his summer

That’s not a loving way of acting. If you were my daughter I would advise you to leave.

kiki100 · 14/12/2025 18:15

I know, I’m no saint either but I feel the way I overreact or react to things are due to the way he is, I have allot of built up resentment towards him and I don’t really know what to do

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 14/12/2025 18:27

What are the obvious reasons?

kiki100 · 14/12/2025 18:39

Kids and money

OP posts:
Riversidegirl · 14/12/2025 18:49

Get in touch with Women’s Aid or have a look at their website for advice and support. DO NOT STAY IN AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE! The family dynamics behind close doors affect the children. You can leave with help. 💐

WallaceinAnderland · 14/12/2025 22:39

You already work and do most of the childcare so you've got that sorted already. What you need to do now is look into what benefits would be available to you and start planning to leave. It doesn't happen overnight but you will feel happier if you know you are working to extricate yourself.

I appreciate it's easier to just stay and do nothing but honestly you owe it to your kids to give them a better life than this.

kiki100 · 14/12/2025 23:01

I appreciate all the advice given thank you all

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