To think this is not my fault/problem to fix?

[Physioterrorist]

DD5 just does not want to see her Dad. Results in crying fits/tantrums every time he comes to collect her for his time.

Around two years ago her Dad left us/the family home for his affair partner. Since then, he has seen her for around 1 hour 2-3 times a week. I believe there was some issues surrounding him seeing our DD due to his new partner not wanting him to collect DD from our home amongst other things.

Now, whenever he collects her for his time with her DD will throw an almighty tantrum, screaming that she doesn’t like him and wants to stay with me. She has become very clingy with me lately, possibly because I do absolutely everything for her/with her? Every time these tantrums happen, her Dad will then give me grief saying how upset this makes him and he doesn’t want to see her anymore.

I’ve done everything I can to facilitate a relationship between them and ensure he gets to see her and don’t see what else I can be expected to do?

This does also cause me stress as I literally get 0 time to do anything without DD being with me when she isn’t at school.

AIBU to think this wasn’t my doing and isn’t my problem to sort? It should be him?

However I would also love some suggestions on how to help this as I am getting to my wits end as well!

It's not OP's responsibility to make up for a lack of parenting and relationship building by dad.

OP is responsible for communicating with him and not seeding bad feeling about him with DD, e.g. by avoiding discussing him in her hearing or making sure she refers to him neutrally or positively to DD. Also things like getting her ready to go at the right times etc.

It's the father's responsibility to uphold his end ie behaving like an adult in the face of a child's understandable upset/unsettled feelings. OP can't control that and isn't responsible for that.

He's not very smart is he?

You're going to have to spell it out for him.

Him rejecting her and walking off is doing a lot of damage. What does that teach her?

Of course she's scared, her whole world has changed.