Christmas has lots its sparkle, just seem to be buying shit all the time

[Willitgetanybetter]

All I feel is stressed, with a list that’s gradually getting ticked off, just spending a load of money, trying desperately to cut back. Used to love it all but it’s fading a bit. Dd is 7 now and it feels like the magic is leaving a little, she’s acting spoilt and moany and finds so many traditions I did with her babyish

Does anyone else have this? I’ve loved Christmas in years gone by

A seven year old should still find some bits of Christmas magical! My eight year old has had a wonderful weekend, we put up the tree and she saw all the handmade baubles we have made which she loves! Then we decorated mugs at a local pottery shop which she loved even more and today we are off to a special church service with biscuit decorating, lambs and carols. All things she’s super excited about.

For us the big day is less about gifts (we just gift them stuff they need) and more about spending time together, playing board games and having a laugh. No pressure from outside at all, which I know is unusual because we don’t have family to visit but it’s still lovely!

@Jellycatspyjamas

I was a child of the 80s, things have definitely changed with the advent of social media.

True, but there were other equivalent types of over-indulgence in those days.

I certainly don't think the pressure on parents (and mums in particular) was that much less then. My mum would have a meltdown every year about cost/stress/time.

The issue now is that everything costs so much more relative to people's incomes.

I’m sorry to say, because I’m sure it rubs people the wrong way, but it really is as great or terrible as you make it. Stop buying shit and reframe what you think of as ‘magic’. It’s bullshit. ‘The magic’ is bullshit.

We’ve only ever done two presents max for the kids. We focus on family time, making food together and getting out of the house. DH and I don’t buy for each other and for family we all go to an event together instead – panto, theatre, etc.

Of course my kids have pushed boundaries and said things that might lead other parents into guilt, but I decided before I had them that Christmas would never be full of fake bullshit.

Can we have elf on a shelf? No
Is Father Christmas real? I don’t know, what do you think?
I want a £800 X box! Let’s work out how to save for one then.
I’m bored! We can do X, Y or X – which do you want to do?

Parents are utterly hoodwinked and it’s awful.

Since my children became adults, Christmas lost its sparkle for me. I wish I could tear the Xmas tree down now and declare Xmas over!

I've stopped doing that.

Pare back activities. I'll take ds out for a hot chocolate, make mince pies at home, put up a christmas tree and some gable lights, and visit some friends, but otherwise Christmas is for rest and relaxation. Early morning running, making soup and ginger bread men, watching films, cycling with ds, reading in front of the log burner. Pottering.

Anyone is welcome to drop in, the kettle is always on, but I'm not going to see panto or shopping/booking a show in London. Nothing flash.

Xmas lunch is leek & potato soup, roast chicken and all the trimmings, xmas pud & cream. Nothing ambitious.

Forget about expensive present expectations too. For everyone except DS, I buy something that will make them smile. For dsis who's in a new home this xmas, a little vase and some freesias for her bedroom window sill. Total cost about £15 but it will make her smile and suit her cottage. For others, some unusual cheeses and some pickles or a book on something they are interested in.

For DS I've bought things he actually needs, and then an experience.

I treated myself to a new sweater.

I think my whole Christmas including food for three will be about £550 and it'll be lovely.

Depends what you mean by traditions! If you mean attractions and events that social media has persuaded people are “traditions” which are only ways to extract money then be thankful (£17.50 to look at lights in trees local to me, why???) As children grow we change what we do regarding festivals like Christmas, try working on the meaning of Christmas rather than commercialism. My dc started attending midnight mass at this age which made it very special for them , staying up late, robing (they were choristers) then on returning home opening their first present, always pyjamas! We also chose ahead of Christmas as a family an organisation to donate to, started with a goat, then a toilet but ended up a few years later sponsoring a young lady through high school in Uganda, still in contact and she’s a teacher herself now. They did the research themselves and it helped to get them interested in the world

I agree the levels of hype and expectation are just insane, and seem to get worse every year. I find it pretty tedious and suffocating. It's a cliche but you do have to prioritise what's important to you and ditch the crap. I'm looking forward to having some time off work, not setting the alarm for 6.30am every day, resting, catching up on telly and reading and eating and drinking a bit more than usual.

And I honestly do look forward to January - peace and quiet returns

I agree with PP, Christmas can be great if you are selective, and stick to things that matter to you, and don’t get drawn into feeling like you have to subscribe to all the bullshit, just because somebody else does, and because it’s all over Insta and Facebook.

This, the less you have the more you appreciate.

The worst example lately on here was a mum saying the best thing about having an only child was at xmas she knew the big pile of.presents 😩under the tree was just for her.😥

I do buy the kids a number of gifts. I don’t buy much for them outside of Christmas and birthdays so tend to save our spending for Christmas, I don’t have a huge family to buy for so set a healthy budget and stick to it. There’s a middle path between piles of presents and something to eat, read, need. We also do the panto every year because they love it.

At the end of the day you pick things you can afford and that they’ll enjoy - for me that’s nice food, thoughtful gifts and family time. My dads partner always brings a Christmas Eve bag with pjs and sweets, which is her tradition with her grand kids, I think it’s lovely she includes mine but it’s not something I would do if she didn’t.

Today we’re decorating the tree, making cup cakes and watching a movie in front of the fire with the tree lights. Magical in its own way.

I love Christmas but I do it my way. I buy into some of the cheesy rip-off stuff that’s hated on MN (love a Christmas market) but I don’t get myself stressed over it. I am only buying presents for DP and PILs (and myself 😅), I am off work for 2 weeks and we’re going away for winter sun. It can be a very relaxing time if you make it - just opt out of the shit you don’t want to do.

I've never understood what people mean by this Christmas "magic". We have a nice time, we see family, we eat some good food, it's all good. Not sure what people stress about or get sad about chasing this mythical magic stuff.

I’m not religious, we celebrate Christmas in a non-religious way (we do it on the Christmas weeks as that’s when we get time off work and school). We don’t do any religious activities, but celebrate family and the ending of the year, the move into winter. We exchange gifts via secret Santa so just have to buy one person a thoughtful gift. The children don’t get piles of presents. We don’t watch tv with adverts and we hate goi no shopping so we successfully avoid any consumerist pressure.

You can still have a lovely time over the Christmas break, you don’t need to be religious (in fact the Christian people I know do have piles and piles of presents - so not everyone is immune!). It doesn’t have to be one or the other, change it up, do other things with your daughter, don’t give in to her moaning about presents.

It was much lower key in the 60s as you put it.
Only started 1st December. Much simpler than today also.

Why is that worst though? If you can afford it and your child appreciates what she has? It’s not the only thing about Christmas, but most children would be excited to receive a pile of gifts. As long as expectations are managed and no one is going into debt. Mumsnet can be utterly joyless at times.

Don't put one up
We Stopped a few years ago.

What's wrong with that, though?

Some people don't buy their kids much throughout the year and save it all for Christmas and birthdays. As long as nobody is going into debt and the child isn't having a screaming fit a la Dudley Dursley, what's the issue?

Why does she need a load of presents because its Xmas.

Its not jobless its sensible.

Your making a rod for your own back anyway as each year and as she gets older the pile will have to get larger and more expensive.

I'd like to see the girls face when mum says she donated all the money she was spending on the child's presents this year to a charity for sick kids/children in war torn countries.

It really does not have to be like that. I don't know why so many people seem almost afraid to push back against it all. Adults can buy their own stuff, imo. I certainly don't want some plastic wrapped shower set from Baylist & Harding!

Why does she need a load of presents because its Xmas

Why not? Life doesn't have to boring and joyless all the time.

When it starts to feel like this you have two choices. Skip Christmas altogether or scale it back and do it how you want to do it. We don't go OTT at christmas. We enjoy time off work, watching films, going for walks, love watching the NBA and just got into the NFL as well this year 🙂 We buy gifts for close family only. Our boys are now 19 and 12 and this year we're having christmas dinner on Christmas eve. Christmas day will be pizzas and party food and boxing day will be our cinema trip.

I am struggling to find the joy this year too. Hope you can find some in the simple moments.

I love Christmas but my version of it. We don't decorate anything or do anything Christmas related until December. We have our little traditions of going to the panto that even my adult children still enjoy. Never done elf on the shelf or Christmas eve boxes. We do buy a lot of presents but they are things that never cost a huge amount and are things the children have put on their list or things I know they will love. They have always known that there are no big presents for Christmas (game consoles, etc are for birthdays). The stockings are the best bit. Christmas is about all being together and having fun. The magic is a big thing even for the adults.

😊
No children here.
Since becoming an adult, I cannot be bothered with Christmas.
I largely agree with most posters here.
Just myself and my husband, I'm trying to get motivated to get that Christmas tree out now!
(Small one, mostly decorated). 🙄

I do think it's worth scaling back and keeping it simple. We did it one year due to illness and it was a bit of a revelation. It worked so much better.

It's easy to forget that it's a time of year where odds are you'll be ill for at least some of it and the weather will most likely be crap so why is it the time of year that we put the most pressure on ourselves?