How are you? Too much to expect?

[halfpastten]

I have realised that a couple of my best friends never ask me how I am. I'm a great listener, so know all about their lives. They may ask about my kids, but never about me. For the past few years my life has been quite small, so I didn't have much to say. But lately I've been a lot more active and engaged in living, I would love to be able to talk about it. But they don't ask and if I talk about it anyway I can tell they're not really interested.
I met one of them for coffee today and came away feeling drained.
We have been friends for years and she is a good person, but not really that interested in me beyond what I am to her.
Suddenly as my life is starting to grow, I feel like I need more.
Not sure what i am asking really, just whether anyone relates.

That's hard. How long have you been friends and how old are you? I find that certain friendships fade after time and other new, random ones blossom. We also live in a society where people are becoming increasingly self-absorbed and don't think to ask others how they are. It is, however, a fundamental part of a friendship are you need people who are genuinely interested in how you are.

Unfortunately some people are too concerned about only themselves to ever consider asking about others.
They may have got into that habit with you (& others, we don’t know)
I think it’s rude & unwelcoming.
Perhaps you could change the emphasis a bit for old times’ sake & say that you want to share some things with her etc??

There needs to be a balance. Always being the listener/giver is no good, as you're finding. You can try and shift the balance by trying to talk about yourself, even unasked if necessary, but if they continue in the old pattern, it might be time to move on. Really good friends help you flourish by their interest and encouragement.

Thanks for responding. These are all helpful comments. Yes there does need to be balance and we all need friends who are interested in how we flourish and grow.
I'm not blaming those friends, just acknowledging that they are emotionally limited and in both cases there may be good reasons for that.
But my context has changed and that has made the imbalance obvious. That's why I felt drained. It's a sad realisation.
Here is a quote I found that's useful for anyone else reading this and feeling the same:
"When your life expands it exposes who was connected to you and who was connected to a version of you that served them."
It's a signal. Not to drop friends entirely, but to just acknowledge their limits, put energies into people who are interested in my growth, and create space for new connections.
Now I've thought about it, from this position of already starting to change and grow - after a few years of post covid hibernation - it actually feels quite positive.